Neighbours dropped of chocolate for my child…

[bananasinabowl]

We were away for Christmas this year and our neighbours have just dropped off some large chocolate buttons gift thing for our child who is four as they didn’t know we were away.

do we give something back? Their child are a lot older and in their teens/20s. Don’t know what to do? If it was before Christmas I would have dropped off some biscuits as a thank you from my child. I could still do that? Or do I leave it?

I dropped off Selection boxes for the wains across the close on Christmas Eve. Today we had a knock on the door with a little homemade 2023 calendar - a picture of our house and family (and cats) with one of those little calendars stuck on the bottom. It’s on my fridge now.

Our elderly neighbour often drops in a chocolate Santa for our DC, we just give her a card. She just likes children and wants to give them a little something at Christmas, it's a small neighbourly gesture. Just like if we take in her bins we don't expect her to do us a favour in return.

my elderly neighbor gives my kid’s chocolate each year, they make her a Christmas card. Maybe a thank you card from your child would be nice.

This is fine. I give to a neighbours kid with no expectation of anything in return

If I have a smallish Choc gift to my neighbour’s 4 year old there is no way I would expect a reciprocal gift.

It’s fine OP, they are kind friendly neighbours who are embracing the spirit of Christmas by giving something to a small child.

A hands drawn picture on a card would be brilliant. Honestly, when you don't get them any more,you really appreciate them!

Is this really an issue? Neighbour gives gift - oh no I don’t know what to do, better ask mumsnet

They will be chuffed with a thank you from dc

Assuming that you mean that your child will draw the card, that's a good decision. A big bag of buttons isn't expensive and is be notified if I'd given them and you spent more! I popped cheap Easter eggs round fur a neighbour's children during lockdown, with absolutely no expectations of anything in return. It was just lovely to knock and run, and see their delight when they opened the front door to find them in the step!

When later that day, they popped a card drawn by the children through my letter box, I was very touched.

is be notified

I'd be mortified!!! Stupid autocorrect

My next door neighbours (in their 70's) always send Xmas chocs in for my little ones and sweets at Halloween etc. They draw them pictures in return, which they display in their porch so we can see them, always makes us smile.

Occasionally we send some biscuits in, or kids make them some cakes. We might take flowers round if they've been ill. This is more just because they're such lovely neighbours though, rather than to repay them for gifts.

This. ^

I dropped some chocolate and a teddy each to my neighbours children Adam 2 and Eve 5. Eve went to the fridge unprompted and pulled off one of her pictures and gave it to me as a thank you. Adam then went to the fridge and pulled a picture to give to me. Eve looked perturbed. I showed her the pic Adam had given me (it was one of hers, she’d signed it). She looked at me very earnestly and said “not that one” and took it back. It took all my effort not to burst out laughing, it was so cute. Mum was embarrassed but I understood Eve was very proud of that particular picture and I’m not a worthy recipient being only a neighbour and all. Went home with a huge smile. I’m more than happy with the picture she gave me which will get a place of honour on my fridge for 1 week 😉

No need to send a gift. But a thank you would be lovely.

I send our neighbours granddaughter who us 4 (lives there permanently) Christmas and birthday gifts because I like her and I like selecting a gift for a little person now mine are in their teens. It would sort of ruin it if they felt they to reciprocate.

I don't expect thanks but I totally love it when the little person comes round with grandparent to thank me and chatters on, sometimes I'll find a drawing through my letter box at random times. Some gifts are given just because giving gifts can be lovely.

Agree with you, a thank you card is perfect. I bet your neighbors just want to give because you’re a young family with a sweet little child. They’ve been where you are and are happy for you knowing these are the magical years and want to give. They expect nothing in return.

You’ve got me wondering what the right thing is to do now 🤣 my neighbours are always giving my kids sweets, little gifts etc. as their kids are much older I never even thought about getting anything back, they continue to do it so I don’t think they are offended. I think as Xmas is past now I wouldn’t bother, unless you say that you have had them a box of biscuits here for a while ready to give at Xmas. Do you usually buy them something ?

Ah that's sweet!

A card is good! If you really want to give a little something from your dc, you could bake some a giant biscuit or cupcakes together or something.

Oh dear @bananasinabowl We gave our next-door neighbours baby a gift after she was born last year, and now that she is about 1 year old we have given her a little toy for this Christmas.

We have one of our adult children and their partner, living here with us, but it never crossed my mind that the neighbours might feel awkward about us giving their baby a little present, and that they could think that we expect one back for our 'children'.

Please don't give them anything back this year - except a thank you note if that will help you feel better. If your neighbours are like my husband and me OP, that would just make them feel bad about giving the gift in the first place. We only gave our NDN's little girl a very small present (cost about £12 I think), just to show that we think she is sweet, and that we like having her as our little neighbour!

We gave Christmas chocolates / Halloween sweets to our NDN's DD who is around 11. Our own DS is older and away at uni so absolutely would not expect they give anything back.

I've also never even considered they would send a card etc to thank us as we get a verbal thanks at the time <shrugs>

A thank you drawing is perfect. We gave a neighbour an old balance bike for their 3 year old and got the best thank you card with dinosaur stickers, glitter, and felt tip all over it. It was brilliant!

Don't get into reciprocal gifting, it gets competitive (see MN threads ad nauseum).

A thankyou drawing will be perfect.

Don't forget the expiry date Post It on the back.

If I had young children next door, I would give chocolate to them at Christmas, not expecting anything in return. It builds a friendly relationship which is invaluable. As it is, I buy treats for my neighbour's dogs. In lockdown, she looked out for us, saving us from having to leave the house, and though we aren't in and out of each other's houses, I think we both feel able to ask for help or favours if we need to.

Another one here who gives a small gift to neighbours young children at Christmas but I also have made it clear it is not to be reciprocated. I just like to see the delight on the young family as that’s what Christmas is for.

A thank you picture and next time you see them stop and chat ☺️
They are obviously being nice and neighbourly. And probably take a lot of pleasure from treating a small child at Christmas.