A very happy Christmas - but even so…

[TrickyD]

We had a perfectly delightful Christmas.

DS1, his DP and our five year old DGS arrived on Christmas Eve and stayed until today. On Christmas Eve we were joined by DS2, his DP, his three kids and the GF of our eldest DGS for our usual ‘Alpine Supper’ , cheese fondue, plus chicken and steak cooked on the hot stone, salad etc. A festive start to Christmas and great fun.

On Christmas Day, evening turkey dinner with provision for vegans. flaming Christmas pud and general feeling of well-being and cheerfulness.

Everyone was delighted with their presents, our DSs and their DPs were very generous to us and they all seemed thrilled with the items we gave them, as did all DGCs and DPs.

Our sons’ partners are just amazingly loving and helpful and kind. We are so lucky to have these women in our family. All cousins get on with each other
no grumpiness or rivalry, we are very fortunate.

However, even though fantastic DH cooked all the meals, I made the Christmas Cake, the Rocky Road mountain with little reindeer on it, the biscuit Star Cake, marzipan fruits , mince pies, canapés, decorated two Christmas trees, garlanded three fireplaces, bought all the presents, did Christmas cards and laid various festive tables for 11 and performed other similar activities, I still felt guilty because it wasn’t up to my usual amount of festive creation..

No chocolate Yule log made, no croquembouche (profiterole tower) no lighted Garland all the way up the bannisters.

I feel sad that I didn’t swing into the usual all enveloping mad round of cooking and decorating. DH says I am nuts, that I did more than enough and certainly no one seemed to notice the absence of bannister garlands and Yule log cake.

I simply didn’t have the energy this year. I am 78, with a pacemaker.

I asked DH how he would feel about going away on our own next Christmas. He thought it was a brilliant idea, everything done for us, no cooking for him!

Then I asked DSs how they would feel. DS2 whose partner Is Italian, said they would do Italian stuff with DPs family, DSI’s DP said it would be their first Christmas in the house they have lived in for 7 years. Either they have spent Christmas in her home country or with us. They seemed OK about it (possibly thanking Heaven not to have to humour me by participating in Christmas
here 😃 too polite to say so!)

So, green light to go away.

But, can I really steel myself to do that? Easy if the family were difficult, but they are all so nice. Our house is big enough to absorb them all, DSs’ houses not so much.

If I can’t manage hosting next year when I will be 79, am I really likely ever to manage it again?

This Christmas was so perfect is it better to quit on a high note or should we soldier on for another year?

However, even though fantastic DH cooked all the meals, I made the Christmas Cake, the Rocky Road mountain with little reindeer on it, the biscuit Star Cake, marzipan fruits , mince pies, canapés, decorated two Christmas trees, garlanded three fireplaces, bought all the presents, did Christmas cards and laid various festive tables for 11 and performed other similar activities,

Rereading your first post OP, I really do think you can retain the festive spirit and your sanity by outsourcing so much. Christmas cakes, mince pies etc. etc. can all be bought, or indeed most are nice to have, rather than essentials.

Decorations can be pared down, a table made festive by a disposable festive paper cloth etc. etc.

Unfortunately all the trappings you think you need for a magical Christmas have become millstones, and I don't necessarily think getting DILs to do everything that you do is the answer.

Whilst it's all still fresh in your mind, think through all the items you cooked or created and decide which ones actually made a difference and which ones could be shelved or outsourced. The truly important part is being surrounded by your loved ones.

Wow! You are a proper Mother Christmas. I did half of that and consider myself a hero!
I've cut back a lot over the years, first to go was writing and posting all those cards, we just donate to charity instead now. It just seemed so wasteful spending £60 on postage.
Then we decided not to save the Christmas food for Christmas day, so we baked and ate the chocolate log and dundee cake earlier in December! We made dark winter nights a bit more festive with Christmas cocktails, cheese and wine etc.
We found that packing everything into one weekend left us frazzled so this year we booked a huge table at a party night in a lovely local hotel and 40 family members all booked in, paid for themselves and had a great time.
We have also arranged a family trip to the ballet and to an RSPB nature reserve for a long walk.
Traditions change, they aren't set in stone. Book your holiday and do what works for you.

Lucysmam thank you for your kind words about our mantelpieces. They were easier to do this year as DH had packed the stuff into separate boxes and labelled them, and had been careful with the lights so no exhausting untangling.

i always read your posts, and if anyone has the true Christmas spirit it is you. You are have so many projects, crochet, sewing and so many of them with your girls helping you. I picture the three of you working away together happily.

TheLightFalls, you talk sense as does Rookiemere. Cut back on the trappings which didn’t really make a difference. However it will be hard to resist the pleas of DGS (19) “Gran, you are going to make those biscuit trees aren’t you? One big one and a little one each for us DGCs”.

@TrickyD

This all sounds amazing you went to a huge amount of effort and it's lovely everyone had a nice time ❤️

Your Christmas sounds truly amazing! Take a year off next year and celebrate with just the two of you. If you decide the following year that you would like to return to your former celebrations ask for some help and perhaps scale it down somewhat.

I wish you were my mom (she died) you sound lovely. Do what makes you happy.

Great idea to write recipes all down in a special Christmas and New Year cook book 🎄🎄🎄🎄

I think it's perfectly rational to dial the festivities back in your 70s. It's also prime time to pass your knowledge and experience onto the younger generations. I'll hazard a bet your DGS 19 is keen to know how you make those trees so he can keep the tradition alive!