Parents alone at Christmas - help!

[britsabroad]

My parents are in their 70s, been separated for 20 years but since my mum was diagnosed with cancer this year they have been on more friendly terms with dad helping out with the garden/shopping - going for lunch etc. They probably see each other once a month and ring/msg every other week.
I live overseas, but am home staying with my mum for Christmas. I feel so awful as I often do at Christmas because my parents aren't together and are elderly so one of them always ends up alone on Christmas day. I spent Christmas alone last year and it was fine so I know I'm being silly but it still makes me feel awful. I had thought that as my parents were more friendly now, that my mum might invite my dad round for lunch but she hasn't. We all went out for lunch today but I could tell he's expecting an invitation for lunch. I do get it, I wouldn't want my ex in my home on Christmas day.
But what should I do on Christmas day? Have lunch at home with my mum, then go round see my dad in the evening with my son? Breaks my heart to think of him alone on Christmas day.

I think I'd have a quiet word and see if she would be open to inviting him. No harm in asking her if they have been meeting up a bit more. She can always say no.

I too would ask your mum outright if inviting him for lunch is an option. If not then yes, unfortunately I think the only way to do it is to see him later in the day.

Your mum is ill. Why doesn't your dad or you have everyone over?

I’d ask her to invite him, maybe run with wanting DS to see both GP’s on Xmas day.

U take the bull by the horn.and ask if it feasible u r all together. If she says yes see if she wants you to organise and ask ur dad. Your dad might be up for it,he might not. As for feeling terrible about him.being alone Christmas day,as many people on here have mentioned,for some it is a pleasure not a punishment. Good luck.

Ask your mum if she would be open to having your Dad over, even if for some of the day?

I’d suggest going out to a restaurant but you’d never get a booking anywhere decent now I wouldn’t think.

Could you (or your dad) cook for all of you at your dad's place?

Your mum is poorly and i assume your dad mught struggle with cooking a full on Christmas dinner (given his age, altho i could be wrong on that front)

Be honest with your mum. Tell her how you feel and ask for her advice. I doubt she would expect you not to see your dad at all on the day but the invite needs to be her idea. I hope it works out for you, you all sound nice

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being alone on Christmas Day & lots of people love it. If he is bothered, then he can make arrangements to see friends.

I'd tell her how you feel - she's happy to have his help but sod him on Christmas Day? It's rather mean.

Talk to your mum, considering they’ve been more in contact this year and he’s been helping her out she might be just fine with having him for Christmas. It’d be nice for you and your son too. See what she says.

@Draconis OP lives abroad and is just staying with Mum for Christmas, it’s right there in the OP, so having Dad would be at her Mums.

Tell your DM that you're planning to visit your DF in the evening. If she wants to invite him for lunch, then she will do.

I would try to visit them both.

@BuffaloCauliflower thanks.
Sorry op. Shouldn't go on my phone before I've had my coffee.

Yeh I think I'm going to tell her that I'm going to take a Christmas dinner round to him in the evening and take my son to visit and see what she says. I think she has used him a bit this year when she's been ill but it is her house so it has to be her decision. I'm just going to try and see him with my son this week and do some family days out etc.

If your Dad wanted to... he could invite you all over....

Doesn't have to be yor Mum who hosts... or invites

Spend the day with your Mum and the evening with your Dad?

I'm sure he'll be fine, they have been separated for 20 years!

Or are you secretly hoping they will get back together?