DS changing his mind!

[Noimaginationforaun]

Hi! Looking for some help from some much more experienced mums!

Our 3.5 DS has suddenly started talking about Father Christmas bringing him a car he can ride in? He only asked for chocolate when he wrote his list! We have bought all his presents and there is definitely not a car he can ride in in the mix!

What do I say? We keep telling him well Father Christmas has already sorted all the presents, he didn’t ask for it in his letter so he didn’t know, maybe he can ask for his birthday.

I don’t want him to be sad on Christmas Day! For context, DS is adopted and this will be his second Christmas with us. Last year, we kept it really low key as he had a lot of fear about the presents being taken away etc due to past experiences. We are obviously very happy he’s settled so well and now has no such worries about presents being taken away but we don’t want him to be disappointed!

I'd just say Santa has said you have to be 4 for those.. do you want to put it on your list for next year now

Tell him you can't afford it..That's a huge ask!

As a child, all I ever asked for and wanted was a Victorian rocking horse {a proper one on big bow rockers}..
I was told that Father Christmas wouldn't be bringing one as our house was too small, and the horse too expensive.

I eventually and bought my own as an adult :)

Lots of children have to learn and deal with the fact Santa cant always bring everything they ask for. Friend’s DD asked for a horse one year, was told no as it wouldn’t fit on the sleigh. The next year she asked for a flying unicorn so it could fly alongside the reindeer but obviously it still wasn’t given! If you can’t afford something or don’t have the space it is fine not to get every single thing a child asks for, even if he is sad for a moment when he realises he doesn’t have it presumably he will be getting lots of other fun and exciting gifts so I am sure he will still have a brilliant day.

@Noimaginationforaun Well done for adopting though..It's tougher than many imagine, due to issues as you mention with past traumas, and attachment disorders.

This.

To be fair, it might be a good opportunity to start the lesson of 'you don't always get everything you want'

Could you get a workmate or friend that he does not know to ring and pretend that they are Father Christmas or Mrs Clause and explain that they elves already have the presents ready so they will not be able to bring it.

Id look on market place for a toy car second hand

www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/1221625485365320/?hoisted=false&ref=search&referral_code=null&referral_story_type=post&tracking=browse_serp%3A6f11abf8-cbe4-4d08-9e08-1836b7b40a41

like this

I, and millions of other kids, always asked Santa for stuff we weren't able to get, and turned out just fine. Still loved Christmas

What about making one of the Portable North Pole messages from Santa where Santa clearly mentions the main gift you've actually bought? Your DC will be so entranced with the video and he'll realise Santa thinks his main gift isn't a car. Or there are books with cars you pop up and sit in. Then they fold down again.
Portable North Pole

Ds did this every single year! (He's 9 now and still half expecting him to do it this Christmas!) Usually we managed to run around and get him something close to the last minute request depending on how expensive/outlandish it was(just looked at Argos and there are some push around cars for £15/20 as well as things like scuttlebugs) If this too much/not enough space then I would get a small toy car. He's unlikely to query this on Christmas day with so much else going on- if he does Santa obviously did the best he could at short notice and he'll have to try a bit early next year!

Do any of your local shops have kids rides outside? A few rounds on a car/bus/whatever might be a good compromise.
Maybe Santa sent a stack of coins for this purpose.

Ahhh yes, I remember a last minute secret trip to town to buy dd the toy hoover she suddenly really wanted!
She was so happy with it, it's become a nice Christmas memory.

Usually MN is the place of don't pander to them, live like a skinflint and Christmas is the epitome of evil capitalism. So I'm quite surprised by so many people saying buy it for him.

Personally I'd set expectations now. It's a week before Christmas, Santa doesn't shit presents. He has to make them and its too late now to change your mind. At 3.5 he will be overwhelmed and over excited anyway. And probably more impressed with a load of cardboard boxes than anything else.

Your DS will, no doubt, ask for lots more things he can't have in the future. Just manage expectations and move on.
I remember asking for a dog as a child. I got a pink fluffy one. My DS asked for a villa in Spain with a swimming pool (after we took him on holiday). He got a 'letter from Santa' explaining that he wouldn't be able to stretch to that! Did the trick.

@PushingAnElephantUpTheStairs you spoilsport! Why didn't you get your DC a last minute tuba? 😂

I would just keep reminding him of the letter he wrote and that Father Christmas sorted presents a while ago now. Hopefully he will be caught up in the excitement of all the other presents he has received.

I think also its important to teach him that you can't always get everything you ask for. Life doesn't work like that and Santa has to think about all the other children that needed presents too.

Ah thank you so much everyone. It’s made me laugh to hear of other children asking for last minute gifts - horses and tubas! Brilliant!

I think for practicality purposes we are going to have to go down the ‘Father Christmas can’t bring every present’ route if it keeps coming up. It’s reassuring to hear other parents doing the same and their children not even realising or not being bothered!

He does already have a coupe car and a John Deere tractor in the garden so there really isn’t the room! He does have some cars for Christmas just not ones he can sit in so hopefully that’ll be enough!

Will keep saying what other’s have suggested - he can’t bring everything we ask for, he only brings things that we can have in the house and we can’t fit a car in the house, he already has a car and a tractor outside so he will probably bring him something new.

Amazon had ride on cars for £40. X

You can get books that fold into sit on cars and back, which might be a good compromise.

DS got one of these (secondhand) when he was 2, and occasionally still rides around on it aged 6. They are bombproof (and go quite fast in a big room or garden). He saw one of the fancy electric ones in a department store around the same time, and preferred his because he can actually control it (which is lucky because the one we saw was about $1000, so not an option).

May not be possible to get one so close the Christmas with the postal strike, but you could check FB Marketplace/Argos?

And yep DS asked for a last minute Ninja Turtles mask in his letter to Santa, having never mentioned that ever at all to me.

I had similar a couple of times when DC were small. I got away with "Santa thinks you're so awesome he told me he's already chosen something really special just for you "
I do remember once buying the last minute request and putting the existing gift aside for the March birthday. But realistically there's not always the budget for that!

In our house, Santa brought the small gifts/stockings and Mum and Dad did the big gifts.
When questioned about school friends getting big gifts from Santa, just explained that some parents like to pretend all gifts are from Santa, but i reality there is not enough room in his sleigh