The whole family for Christmas now mil wants Christmas eve

[SpaceOP]

Hahaha. Don't worry, don't really need advice as I am NOT doing this but we are hosting dh's entire family for Christmas. For various reasons, we have spent every Christmas with them for the last few years, except Covid. It's fine.

But now MiL has pulled out the "well, traditionally, Christmas eve is when we all get together so you should all come over here on Christmas eve too" +

We are also doing a day with additional, extended in laws next week.

Obviously I have no intention of going over. I might happily send dh and dc so I can finish all the pre work at home- but only if dh has completed all the furniture moving and tidying he is responsible for first.

But what is she thinking?!

• this Christmas eve theory has been floating around since I met dh. Its total bollocks. In the beginning, I thought it was great as we could do Christmas eve with his family and Christmas with mine. But I quickly wised up when I discovered that a) I was the ONLY one making any Christmas eve effort and b) that they still all then came along to my family's Christmas.

So many of these whiny threads blaming in-laws when it’s really a DH issue. If you don’t want to repeatedly go somewhere don’t go. If you carry on doing the same thing over and over and the most assertive you get is starting a thread on mumsnet how do you expect anything to change? Surely you must be so bored of moaning about it.

These so called ‘whiny’ threads might be an OP dipping their toe into the water of becoming more assertive and with a bit of
encouragement from Mumsnetters will work on it in the future.

I’ve posted ‘whiny’ threads about my mil, and received some great advice, including a couple of book recommendations that have been transformational in changing from being a people pleaser to a more assertive partner and dil.

If you don’t like such threads jog on.

Another one who gets it. It’d be my idea of hell - tbf with my parents or in laws back to back!