What’s the one thing you hate?

[Michelle1964]

I love Christmas! The advent preparations of cake and pudding making, the gift shopping for family and friends, carol services, Christmas concerts, Christmas eve prep, family buffet tea party, Christmas presents in the morning, the whole Christmas lunch event, the Queen’s (King’s) address, board games, Baileys, communal jigsaw puzzles, Boxing day country walk, village pub lunch. I could go on.

But there’s one thing I’ve always detested and always have. Christmas Crackers. Urrgghh! Just an excuse for creating litter. Pathetic tissue paper hat, bangers that don’t bang more times than they do, a joke your dad would be embarrassed to tell, and a cheap plastic toy that usually adds to the litter generated. They add nothing to the enjoyment or magic of the season. When I’m the host they don’t get a look-in.

What’s the ONE THING you hate about the Christmas festivities?

I hate having to visit inlaws and tolerate rude family members all in the name of Christmas. The number of years I've driven to visit family out of obligation and spent the whole day counting down the hours until I can drive home again.

Having to spend it with people we don't want to.

I hate (and never win) the guessing / chicken game of surprise gifts. On years I prep up with lots of gift chocolates, we don't get surprise gifts (you know, the rando unexpected gift from a coworker or a neighbor). But then when I'm not prepared--bam! Today I got a homemade treat from a neighbor. I need to quickly get her a nice minimal item, nothing too crazy. She played the first hand and set low (and early) expectations, which is nice!

For god's sake red!!

That sounds horrendous! Does your DH find it amusing?
Do the cousins get on well? What's the saving grace?
At least it's one day . But is that Xmas day?
I think if one can be light hearted about it that's fine but it's difficult if people get under one's skin.

We also have the status thing but the extra rod is status over lording from people who have absolutely no taste.
That is the part that gets me.
My pils hold up sil as the beacon of their successful parenting.
It's so offensive. They have asked us to defer to her for many things and she's awful.

Buying presents.

For most of my adult life I've had an average of 8-10 adults to buy for, and also been on an extremely tight budget. I find it extremely stressful trying to think of ideas for all 8, traipsing round the shops, trying to hold in my mind any ideas that crop up, remembering how much I've spent so I can stick to the budget. I almost never have those "aha" moments that other people seem to have where I just happen to see the perfect thing. I then agonise over whether the person will actually like what I've bought or whether they'll find it insultingly inappropriate or just generally crap.

I can barely even think of things I want for Christmas, let alone traipsing around town trying desperately to guess what another adult (who earns much more than me) might possibly want.

I'm not that much of a fan of receiving gifts either. Of course I love them when they really hit the mark, but that happens about 50% of the time, and when they don't, I just feel low about the amount of tat I've collected that will either take up space in my house or go straight to landfill - and the time and money the other person has wasted. I'd happily go without presents myself if it meant I didn't have to get anyone else anything, but apparently that's sacrilege.

Me and my mum at one point, when we were both skint, agreed on a £5 limit for presents. It was wonderful and liberating. Then one year she unilaterally broke the agreement without warning. My dad readily tells me if he doesn't like what I've bought, which is often, even if I put a lot of thought into it, and it just makes me think why bother, and yet he moans if I suggest just that. My nan overwhelms us with mountains of stuff we don't want every single year and it makes me sad. My other nan just goes for one simple, cheap generic gift per person and I'm fine with that because it allows me to do the same. My ILs do a sort of secret santa where each person buys a gift for one other person instead of everyone buying for everyone, and I think that's GREAT. When I was a child the adults didn't get any gifts at all, only the children, and every year I find myself wondering where that tradition went and why we can't bring it back, as I sadly wrap my mediocre gifts that were chosen out of stress and panic, not love, as I anxiously worry what my dad will find wrong with his gift this time, and how much of what I'm wrapping will end up going straight to the local charity shop.

It’s the tidying up after dinner...
loading the dishwasher etc, it just seems to take 10x longer on Christmas Day.
the feeling between Christmas and New Years when your not quite sure what is going on, you feel weird... I get it every year and I’m not even entirely sure why..

Growing up we had the traditional Eastenders Christmas, as in ended with everyone in tears and no one talking to each other. I can remember many trees launched into the garden before the turkey was carved and more than once the presents being ditched unopened. So as an adult nothing in my life is that unstable. I don’t dig my heels in about whether Marks and Spencer is appropriate to buy toiletries (that was the worst year ever), if I open a can of dog food 2 years out of date I smile and get on with my life. Every sodding year my mum sits on the couch looking so confused as we open presents say thanks and that’s it. She’s not judging but completely mystified. Drives me crazy cause I want her to admit it’s nicer to not hang your entire self worth on what next doors son got you because you always bring the bins in (celebrations - oven turned off, so all the devs could come down since nothing means anything to anyone anymore)

Quality street. Rank

That the shops start pushing it four months ahead. I’d make it illegal to even THINK about Christmas until 1 December.

It reminds me that the majority of our family are either dead or so rubbish that it will just be me, DH and the DCs.

This with bells on. Like buying for my teenagers but that's where it stops.
Also hate getting presents as live in a tiny over crowded house and it gets me down.

I've got rid of most of the things I hate about Christmas, so no sending cards, no obligatory visits, we eat what we like, gifts only bought online so no crowds. Correspondingly, Christmas is quite nice now, real tree, singing, decorations we really like, nice trifle for pud, having friends over.

I do hate peel though. Can't eat anything with it in, mince pies, Christmas cake, Christmas pud, hate the lot. Extends to Easter, can't eat hot cross buns either!

Turkey....dont cook it, pigs in blankets...stupid things....but really detest the huge pile of totally unsuitable gifts i receive off one friend even tho i make it clear i do not need or want anything....the lot goes to local food bank each year to be given out.

That it starts too early, immediately after 5th November.

Also spending time with people I can't stand and who I don’t often see throughout throughout year, e.g. self centred rude SIL.

Sounds very intense. Maybe stop engaging and enjoy your own time.

Bread sauce.

Cards. Buying the cards, writing the cards, addressing the cards, spending a small fortune posting the cards - and then getting a load of the bastard things in return, and having to find places to put them and constantly pick them up off the floor every time someone opens a door.

I really love most things about Christmas and lots of the little chores can feel quite festive and soothing, but the annual card rigmarole was intolerable for some reason - just a load of time-consuming arse ache on top of all the millions of other jobs. Then a few years ago I just stopped. DH carried on a bit longer, doing them all himself, but now he doesn’t bother either, except for a few older relatives. I don’t think anyone really cares (it seems like a lot of people no longer send physical cards), and not having them on the To Do list is bliss!

Hosting and cooking for people who are Christmas-perfectionists. It doesn't happen often, but, as someone with co-ordination disabilities, it's an absolute nightmare for me when it does. It's not even fussy eaters whom I mind; it's people who regard my physical awkwardness as 'just not bothering' and 'lacking basic common sense'. I would rather take twenty high-stakes exams!

The other thing I hate is snow (nasty dangerous slippery stuff!) Fortunately not that common at this time in southern England; but I hate the idea that snow is an essential part of Christmas.

I hate the family/IL'S push-pull on where we spend Xmas day - then plans being usurped by DH or DM accepting invitations on our behalf (can't refuse then without offending).

Having no say on who we give gifts to (I want minimal but get ignored), gift opening times, who's there etc. It's all about what suits everyone else & fighting it is futile.

Seeing the in laws. If we HAVE to spend Christmas with them I just get through it. Zero enjoyment.

The frenzy over DB. He's gracing us this year & half the carefully decided plans have changed to suit him, even though he's made it clear he doesn't want to be here.

The overwhelming amount of stuff. I'm minimalist so the amount of tat my DC get is a nightmare to me.

If I could stay home, enjoy Xmas quietly & watch DC's have time with a couple of quality gifts, I'd be happy!

No saving grace. But it's not Christmas Day at least. PIL are always on holiday. BIL has his wife's family. SIL has her husband's family. Which suits us tbh. Christmas Day itself is quiet.

We have to see them all a couple of times a year. God knows why. DS is a similar age to one set of cousins and has got on brilliantly with them in the past, but this year it was just really awkward and difficult for various reasons - it's starting to show how different the kids are too. And his other cousins are much much younger so it just doesn't work with them.

Its DH's call on this though, but I've stepped back this year from organising it after it proved so stressful to find a plan we agree on! Just pick a date and come for dinner rather than all the agro of 'we have to do something special for Christmas', that doesn't cost the earth and then trying to find something that the kids will actually do before it's all booked up, when they can't book anything until they have their Christmas work rota and we've already booked every weekend in bloody December with our other commitments.

The whole thing is ridiculous.

Sounds painful.
It's weird how two siblings can be so different..

I don't like any of it tbh so tend to hide out in the kitchen cooking for a bit of peace. I would prefer not to bother with any of it but the dc insist on coming home to celebrate my birthday which is unfortunately Christmas Day.

The million threads on MN moaning about Christmas.

Oh god yes, the bins that's definitely mine!
It drives me mad the rubbish piling up and the tip at the queue is always an hour long....!