PIL Gift overload!

[Whereistheroom]

I know in the bigger scheme of things this is NOT a big deal! But I feel better getting it out my head

PIL casually mentioned they think they might have gotten too many things for DS (21 months) and when DH asked, how many have you bought like? they said they couldn’t remember! 🙈

I know it is a lovely thing to do and some PIL don’t bother with their grandkids but ffs! First, where on earth are we going to put all this stuff, second, I don’t want DS to grow up spoilt, I want him to have nice gifts but also be appreciative of what he gets and this throws the balance off massively, third, it always makes worry about my side of the family as I think it makes them feel they’ve not gotten enough

They did the same last year, DS was o my 8 months but they arrived with more than twice as many gifts than we had bought DS, all toys, and said they thought they might have gotten too many

We joked that yes they might have gotten carried away but thanked them and said they really didn’t need to get so much. We thought they would have calmed down this year

DH has suggested they should keep half the presents for DC’s birthday and joked that they can keep them at theirs but I’m going to insist they keep them at theirs, I don’t know how else to get the message across without coming over ungrateful

No point to this post really but I feel better after a rant!

The suggestion of a savings account is another great idea however they already do this and put in monthly

There’s also the buying of stuff through the year. DS has over 20 cuddly toys and at least half of these have come from PIL. They get stuff for valentines, Easter, halloween

He goes to theirs once a week and they have tonnes of clothes there for him. They end up giving it to us when he starts to grow out of them ‘as he might as well get use of them’. He’s got 3 lovely jackets, all bought by PIL. The first one they bought still fits him and is in great condition yet they still bought the following 2. This is despite me telling them we had loads of cloths and that my friend had given us loads of stuff. I ended up giving the second hand stuff from my friend to charity.

I’m all for them treating DS but it does get too much and we’ve had conversations about it but they don’t listen. It drives DH and me mad.

I actually like the idea of going to theirs instead. We were trying to avoid travelling between houses but we all live in the same area. Think DH wanted to stay out ours though so we can prep dinner while PIL distract DS. Will see if I can convince DH!

Exactly the same @Zodiacsigns . I tried to control it, which didn't work, so now I do exactly this.

This would really grind my gears, it’s about them and not the grandchildren I also think it should be the parents that but the most for their children, if not to me it’s like taking over and it can make the other set of grandparents feel that they haven’t bought enough! We all love our grandchildren, but think about how the parents feel when you walk in with armfuls of things

I must admit I did feel awful when my mum said she would quite like to get something for DS and when I couldn’t think of anything she very nicely gave us some cash to get him something with which I was very grateful for.

I also know PIL don’t do it out of any sense of competition or anything like that. And I’m not necessarily precious if they got something before we did. I would be annoyed if say they knew we were getting a particular gift and they jumped in and got one and gave it to DS first but they’ve never done something like that and I doubt they ever would.

They have done it before with items of clothing for example, I remember telling them we had ordered some trainers and the next day they phoned DH to ask if we were in as they wanted to see if the trainers they had just got him fit.
I have occasionally felt annoyed when they’ve done this but not annoyed enough to say anything eg they’ve gotten clothes like gloves and hats without checking first when DS has already got some but it’s more because I don’t like waste and if I knew they were going to get something like that I’d have not bothered getting it myself and put the cash towards something else instead.

I know it’s because they love him. If they don’t take on board what DH has said and split the gifts I’ll definitely make them take a load home and if they don’t I’ll drop them round one day after Christmas. I’ll not feel so bad if it’s mostly at theirs. It’s definitely not something I’m willing to fall out over either.

Just thank them and say in the following years just buy 1 or 2 gifts as you just don't have room for it all or they won't all get played with.

Dps family are very into Christmas and got ds loads for his first Christmas last year. I have suggested a slide for the garden this year but I don't know if they've got it or not. I know he'll be getting some money towards his toddler classes but he will probably end up with quite a few presents again 🙈🤷‍♀️

My parents are getting him a playhouse I asked them for and a couple of small gifts that they have chosen which is what I wanted dps family to do with the slide suggestion but I guess we'll see what happens next week 🤷‍♀️

I just needed to check that your heading wasn't about me! It isn't, so carry on OP

Me too!

My parents are the opposite... When shopping with my mum she always says - don’t bother with that, what does he want that for? With any toys / clothes / books I pick up. She & my dad have become super-frugal (they’re rich). They see my son a lot, so I don’t mind. That’s more important to me.

MIL will send lavish gifts (she’s not rich) but will never see our child. Items more a status thing with her. They place huge value on material things. It’s all quite strange, really...