Do you feel guilty when ...........

[Frostine]

I'm in a group of people where we share a hobby and meet up monthly ( think crafting )
One woman there has started giving me a Christmas gift. It is something small like a Cadburys little figure ( think it as a snowman last year ) and a bookmark the year before.
In the past I've got her a pair of socks , and this year wrapped a couple of Green & Blacks chocolate.
Yesterday was our last meet up of the year. She has given me a present much larger than usual and I felt mean passing over the token choc one I got her.
Got home and peeked , it probably came to value of £10-12 . Makes my choc gift of £3 seem like Scrooge .
Have you had this happen in the past ?

You buy/spend what YOU are comfortable with.. dont feel pressured into spending more than that..
This is where people get into serious debt.. matching other peoples budget.
Lots of these gifts for acquantances are completely unnecessary.. even before the financial straits of recent times...

Enjoy your gift... sleep easy..have a lovely Christmas..

I don’t think people really think that way. Or maybe a tiny % do.

In my mind Present = Present.

People spend what they’re happy to spend.

Yes - and I think I've done it to people too (without thinking) in the past.

How did you feel when she started exchanging gifts with you?

I'm afraid I've become irritated by gifts now. I only really enjoy giving gifts to children/my adult children or on occasions when reciprocation wouldn't be an issue. I do enjoy giving gifts BUT I know it isn't really a nice gift it they feel guilty/obligated to reciprocate etc. and it becomes more about my pleasure.

The low value/very token gift exchange is nice. I would definitely keep it at that level next year, and hope she brings it back down again the following year for both your sakes. It's not about being scrooge at all - it is about keeping it at a low key level and not letting obligation/guilt slip in.

Just realised I have done it this year with a colleague. She started the gift exchange (I really wish she hadn't tbh)...I realised I hadn't got her a gift the night before our last day before Christmas (and I really couldn't be arsed to go out) so gave her something I had already bought for someone else. It was small/in keeping with what we normally exchange but probably double the value e.g. [not the exact presents] rather than a boots sanctuary bubble bath I gave her a Clarins one. Something like this may have happened.

Thanks for your replies . Yes I'm another that would prefer not to go on the bandwagon of you buy for me , I'll buy for you . This woman started it off , so the next year I had something on standby if she did it again.
Maybe ungrateful , but if I want something for myself , I will buy it . I have weird / sensitive / super dry skin etc so most gift sets of smellies etc go to the charity shop so I guess a win for them .

I feel the same @Frostine .

I'm afraid my heart sinks a bit when someone gives me a gift. Definitely NOT my love language!