Anyone else unorganised and overwhelmed?!

[Froppysue]

I have no Xmas tree up, so many presents still to be bought, not even thought about wrapping paper much less bought any. No stockings or stocking stuffers, no Xmas jammies.. house is a disaster and we have a birthday next week too which I have nothing for. Someone please make me feel better and tell me it will come together by the big day? I did find the elves today 🙈
Anyone else in the same boat? My Facebook is full of perfect Xmas trees with wrapped presents underneath which have been there since November.. I’m about pulling my hair out here!

I feel permanently disorganised, overwhelmed and look disheveled! I wish I could be better but I get by and on my bad days I try to be grateful for what I have and tell myself I’m a good person just a bit chaotic !

I'm not too bad. I do a minimal Christmas. Fake tree with decorations on it as soon as I can in December to brighten the place up. Presents for nearest and dearest only limits expenses and time. No fancy wrapping just regular Christmas themed wrapping paper and sellotape with their name on I marker pen. Haven't wrapped them yet. Cards posted for those family members I won't see over the festive period. Did that yesterday. I've bought Christmas cake, nuts, cheeses, mince pies and frozen veg. Still have the rest of the Christmas dinner ingredients to buy nearer the time. Also need to do a big shop so I don't need to worry about buying essentials over the festive period. And catch up on laundry mountain, want it all washed dried ironed and put away before Christmas Eve. Tidying done daily to keep on top of it and cleaning in fits and starts. I've organised the one visit I'm making. That's it really. I used to big Christmas up into this huge pressurised thing and run round in chaos until the last minute but I prefer the minimal version these days, far more relaxed.

Yes, that's my life daily.

I do have my tree up though but no presents or even an idea of what to get, no wrapping paper brought and no plans for Xmas dinner. I feel like I'm constantly playing catch up with cleaning my house and looking after my kids and working full time.

I am not stressing myself anymore and taking it as it comes.

I'm dreadful. Just can't get into the spirit of it. I've never been this deflated about Christmas before, cold after cold too. Since covid began I've lost some of the joy don't give a shiny shit anymore. I have to make it nice for the children but I'm drained. @Mercurian has the right idea 😉

Too late for online delivery but not for actual real life shopping.

Write a list of gifts to buy for the most essential people. Streamline it down to the absolute minimum.

Write a list of food and do a click & collect if there are slots available or go to supermarket after work and do a shop for store cupboard goods. Fresh produce can wait until next Friday.

See if you can get a cleaner in to do a deep clean & then you just maintain it.

Get the family involved in all the preparation, cleaning, cooking & wrapping.

@Ijuststoodonlego that's interesting re Covid / not giving a shit. I feel that too. Kind of joyless about things I used to love. Definitely pandemic related.

I feel everything has got so awful. COL, war, climate, tragedies (I know there were always tragedies but they seem magnified atm).

I last had this inner constant panic at the start of the crash / recession in 2009 (correctly so, as it turned out, as I was made redundant). Now, trying to manage financially, despite on a good salary (but single parent) has become overwhelming. I remind myself I have a secure job (public sector) so I'm very lucky, & post-divorce and possibly the bastard having to support his DC adequately, finally I may have some options financially that aren't clear to me now.

clean one handed as I scalded the other filling a hot water bottle last night

Ow Lady that sounds v painful. Hope you'll be ok.

Yep. This is me too. I have the tree up but still plenty of gifts to buy. Mine will mostly be from amazon.

Yep me too, not at all organised and I'm hosting a big family for a week.

Not v organised here. Feel a bit better as did tree and cards today, but dec boxes still everywhere and place a tip. Done some presents but not enough. Keep starting new lists and losing them. No food plans. It'll be fine, one thing at a time, once you start it's not as much as it is in your head.

Thank God I'm not alone.

House is a bomb site, no decs up, not bought a tree. Done some online shopping but nothing is wrapped.

DD's are due home from uni at the weekend and I wanted everything to be festive but it's looking doubtful

I can't find my Christmas spirit at all this year, exacerbated by a traumatic previous Christmas with my youngest child, so Christmas being in my face everywhere is triggering and frustrating, going through the motions for my kids, but the million school related Christmas things, the constant hand over fist with money for this, that and the next thing (cost of living crisis obviously that doesn't apply to school), sorry that's very whiny, however best bit of advice i got was that it doesn't have to be perfect it just has to be good enough, focus on the important things & if that's all you manage then that's brilliant, be kind to yourself it's one day

Do you need present suggestions? Happy to help.
Like a pp said, just do 1 massive amazon prime order tonight and thats the worst bit done. You can even buy the paper and groceries on there.

I'm so gald I dont have the School related Christmas palaver to contend with anymore , no idea how I ever managed with that on top when mine were little.

God I sound like a right humbug 😂

If it is of any help, my last disorganised Christmas meant amongst other things, the tree wasn’t up.
….so we adopted a new tradition, when family arrived Christmas Eve, part of the evening was to put the tree up together, accompanied by a warm mince pie, glass of Baileys and some Christmas music. Actually a really pleasant evening.

I hear you loud and clear OP, and everyone else who is feeling overwhelmed.

I have adhd and this is pretty much how I feel during December every year unfortunately.

My advice would be to consider the following:
Set a timer for 5 minutes and do a 'brain dump' onto paper of everything in your brain pertaining to Christmas and the next few weeks. Just get it all out and onto paper.

Book an online grocery delivery. Do this asap, but just put anything into the basket and then checkout so you have got that delivery booked. Make a note of when the cutoff is to edit the delivery, and write this down / put it on calendar.

Focus on what really matters. Try to really nail this down, because there's probably a lot of stuff that you'd 'like' to do that just isn't important. Let the unimportant stuff go.

It sounds like what might matter most to you is that DC have a lovely day. If so, make a list of anything that is absolutely essential to making this happen, and a second list of other things that would help but are not essential.

Be brutal in making these two lists. Do DC need the house to be tidy? Do DC enjoy a huge slap up traditional Christmas Dinner?
Do you really need to send cards?

Get yourself on Amazon and order what you need to buy for gifts. Bear in mind that 'the perfect' gift does not exist. Post on the Christmas board on here if you need ideas.

Also if you have the budget buy a few extras that will make the run up to Christmas day memorable / fun like a board game, or jigsaw, or baking kit .

Bear in mind that it's not only visual decorations and gifts that make us feel Christmassy- so introduce other things to usher in the Christmas spirit:
The sounds of Christmas: play music, sing carols, pull crackers.

The taste of Christmas: grab easy Christmas themed foods- chocolate Orange, mince pies, candy canes, Yule log, quality street.....

The smell of Christmas: heat the mince pies, light candles.

The touch of Christmas- blankets, crackers, cold walks, jigsaws.

Hope some of this helps a little!

Oops I started to clear out my cupboard so I can hide presents .. and fell asleep on a corner of my bed surrounded by clothes.. argh! Think my priorities are needing a reboot, I’m killing myself trying to get this house in order.

@thebeesknee would it be so bad if your mum cancelled? Then you can get your feet up and enjoy some of the foods you’re craving in peace? Sorry no wine and cheeseboard but you can gorge on chocolate!

@Montague22 I’m loving that you’re hiding random things in the tree - can just imagine a 60cm panther lol.

@ozziepoppop I hope you manage the town ok! I cant even get out with my wheelchair and helpers as it’s so icy, be careful if it’s icy near you too.

@Earringsandlipstick I hope you manage to get your hearing sorted.

So many of you with illness and bugs and crappy times, unmumsnetty hugs to you all!

@Stressfordays (apt username!) that’s just typical isn’t it! I used to be bad for having things bought/organised and then twitching or remembering things last minute. Hope you find what you’re after!

I have a Tesco delivery booked for the 23rd, I’d actually forgotten so thanks for the reminder @TheWoollybacksWife

I have prime so I can check what I can get on there, money is a bit of an issue just now too. I have 3 dc, youngest 2 are early teens and still at home (youngest autistic and very much into Xmas - think that’s where the pressure is coming from tbh, even though she will be completely overwhelmed on the day - and not sleep all week before!) Eldest is 20 and she’s moved out and would understand but I actually have her gift - again these priorities are all askew!

I made a list last night of things to be bought/done and I think that’s what’s made me panicking as it’s a looong list. I do have a dh but it’s been very rocky and he’s not much of a help just now tbh. Feel like throwing the list at him and telling him to sort it! (Although it’s his birthday next week so I have to at least sort that)

@Ericnorthmanyesplease (he is dreamy haha) thank you for the present suggestion help, I think I know what I’d like to get but I need to shave it down and sort out what’s most important I think.

@adelinelou that’s very sweet adopting a new tradition for Xmas Eve, I may have to steal that.

@freckles20 sorry you feel this overwhelmed every year that must be tough, I think that’s what my youngest gets like too she really struggles every December. Your advice is great thank you, definitely need to prioritise what’s important.

Sorry if I’ve forgotten anyone, I’m sure we can all get there in the end.. now to clear this bed 😩

I am a bit of a Bah Humbug these days, I used to love Christmas when our children were smaller! We had already agreed to do a Secret Santa this year because I was aware of the cost of living and did not want anyone, especially my elderly parents to feel under financial pressure. My Mum died three weeks ago, I am trying to support everyone and make Christmas as nice as I can but nothing feels the same now. We are all grieving, Dad is going to my sisters for Christmas and I need him to have something to open on Christmas Day even though we didnt get him in secret santa, because it feels wrong not to, my in laws are in a care home and we cannot buy them edible presents because of medical issues, they don't really need much apart from slippers. The turkey and other food is ordered, the tree is in the garden because I never put it up early anyway, I have bought our Secret Santa present and the grandchildren's presents but I have struggled to by a suitable card for Dad that doesnt say Merry Christmas, have a wonderful time or similar greetings. I have grandchildren and one for who it will be their first Christmas and feel that I need to make it as nice as can, but actually I want to stick two fingers up to the whole thing and hide until at least 2nd January.

I'm really sorry @Diversion 💐 that's very raw, such a recent loss. Christmases after a close bereavement are always very tough. You can only do what you're able to. I hope your dad will get through it & you all manage despite missing your mum.

@EarringsandLipstick thank you, that was a very lovely post and very much appreciated.

I've done less than you op.
Tree this weekend 🤞🏼
Loads of presents to order online.
Domestic Xmas cards.
Don't do jammies.
I'm working until the 22nd (I think) so I'll have a couple of days to wrap, get food etc
DS1 coming home on the 21st and need to sort his room (general dumping ground). I know I am more productive under pressure.
I'm a lone parent and this is the first year for many years I can leave DS2 home alone, so I've got a few evenings out with different sets of friends.

I do feel a bit sad that the other demands on my time mean that, apart from a bit of smash and grab in town, I won't have a chance to go proper Xmas shopping.

I'm not necessarily super unorganised, I've had most things wrapped since end of November, but I'm a sobbing mess this evening because my DD 7 has finally cracked and told me that she's not looking forward to Christmas because her younger brothers (4 and 2) wreck her stuff all the time.

Part is relief as I thought it was something much for fundamental like grappling with FC not being real or something, and part of me is just heart broken for her (she also said she thinks her brothers don't like her because they play together a lot).

So now I'm wanting to get a few more bits to make a fuss of her which then makes me feel like I'll need to even that out with the boys so I do feel in a bit of a mess.

I need to calm down, she is feeling much better. She's just so fucking sweet and always thinking of others, she's wanting to make sure me and her dad get presents and she wants to leave FC a present with his milk and cookie. I hate that this has been playing on her mind for the last couple of weeks and that it's taken me so long to get to the bottom of. So yes, definitely feeling overwhelmed.

@Diversion oh you poor thing that’s such a recent loss, be kind to yourself, hope you and your family can get through this Christmas, even missing your mum as much as I’m sure you are. My best friend lost her dad Christmas Eve 2 years ago and I think she was just numb. Perhaps you can find your dad a card with just a plain picture on the front. I have one here I was sent and it’s from Tesco if that’s any help? Thinking of you.

@Dreamwhisper oh bless her, one of my 3 always felt like that. One year I got her a medical safe box (plain plastic one with a combination lock) and she kept all her chocolate/sweets and a few of her small ‘precious’ bits in - maybe that’s an idea for your dd so her brothers can’t get to her things?

At least you've realised this - I'm still in denial. Tree + decs still in loft, hardly anything bought, we ate the mash, red cabbage and pigs n blankets I had pre-prepared in a short-lived burst of enthusiasm...Even my kids, who are fairly ambivalent about Christmas, have noticed I'm being a bit shit...I need a good panic (or boot up the arse).