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Christmas

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Original poster

Christmas/new years with a newborn.

36 replies

BT11 · 09/12/2022 10:09

I will have a newborn over Christmas time this year. I am 41 weeks today.

It's my first and I'm not going to be getting drunk etc but just don't know how I'm going to get the baby to sleep/ don't want to interrupt getting a good breastfeeding routine going. I'm worried it's going to be too much work to try and celebrate with everyone. We have a lot of family visiting from overseas. I am supposed to be staying over my parents with DH for a few days over Christmas and New year's. People have said newborns sleep a lot - is this actually true? 😂

Any tips or advice would be great!

If not it might just have to be a quiet one at home with DH this year. Everyone is so excited to spend a few days with the baby though!

OP posts:
Hiphopopotamus · 09/12/2022 10:16

I would just play it by ear - it’s one of those things you can’t know until the baby is here. You might have a super straightforward birth and an easy newborn who is happy to be transported and sleep all the time, or it might be more tricky. Your best bet is to keep options open and decide once you know how things are. With my first she was an incredibly easy newborn - we took her on a three hour drive at 2 weeks old to stay with my parents for a week. Her and I were absolutely fine. So just see how it goes without too much pressure,

ChocoFudge · 09/12/2022 10:16

You will still be recovering physically, bleeding etc. I wouldn't have wanted to stay over somewhere else at that point. Depending on how breastfeeding goes you might also be spending a lot of time with your boobs out. I wouldn't make plans and just take things day by day, but I would definitely cancel overnight stays.

DragonWasp · 09/12/2022 10:20

Yes new borns sleep a lot but not for long chunks. You will be physically recovering from the birth too.
I didn't want to see anyone apart from my husband for the first 3 weeks after both my kids. I definitely didn't feel like celebrating.

MillyMollyManky · 09/12/2022 10:23

Play it by ear. At your parents', can you just go to bed if you want, is it relaxed? If there's going to be pressure to be sociable then I'd probably bin it and stay at home.

Fivemoreminutes1 · 09/12/2022 10:23

Yes, that’s true! Every baby is different and each day is slightly different but they generally 16 to 18 hours a day.
It’s likely to be a while before you see a pattern or routine of feeding and sleeping, so don’t worry about establishing a routine just yet.
Being a first time mum is really daunting, you’re not sure, it’s the first time you’ve done anything, you’re worried about if you’re doing something right or if you’re meeting their needs and everything. It might be helpful to have your mum around.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 09/12/2022 10:25

Op, you will not be able to party with a newborn. You will be holding your baby, feeding, changing, holding whilst they sleep. Please read about the 4th trimester.

Even now my youngest is 1 we aren't doing anything.

I think NY with young kids is disappointing unless you have other family with children the same ages.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 09/12/2022 10:26

Newborns often sleep a lot but this doesn't often take place anywhere other than on your chest and preferably with a breast in their mouth.

Christmas is lovely but you might be best planning to stay home and just having some gentle visitors pop in. Depending on when you're baby arrives and how feeding etc goes you may still be having health checks and weigh ins too which needs to be considered.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 09/12/2022 10:27

I'd I'm sorry to be a misery guts but there's loads of bugs, flu, strep a, coughs etc going around right now so the last thing I'd want is a load of people coming to visit.

AriettyHomily · 09/12/2022 10:30

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 09/12/2022 10:27

I'd I'm sorry to be a misery guts but there's loads of bugs, flu, strep a, coughs etc going around right now so the last thing I'd want is a load of people coming to visit.

This

Hiphopopotamus · 09/12/2022 10:33

Please try not to listen to the doom and gloom here. Yes, you might be sore and bleeding and not wanting to see anyone for a year 🙄 or you might feel absolutely fine. I did. You might also appreciate the company of having people around. Just see how you feel. If the time comes and you want to hunker down and have a quiet one with your DH and newborn then do that. But see how you feel first!

Original poster
BT11 · 09/12/2022 10:37

Thankyou for all the help!

I will see how things go and if we can't go it's not the end of the world! My family are very relaxed. I could most likely spend the majority of the time there upstairs if we did go.

There would be mothers and grandmothers there so I was hoping they would give me tips and things for baby haha. A little rest if you like 😉

I am very worried about the idea of flu/strep A etc. My family are flying over and planes always make me sick after I swear.

I can be a bit of a worrier so I am going to ask people to do COVID tests. (I have loads left at home)

OP posts:
Original poster
BT11 · 09/12/2022 10:39

Just to add I was hopeful to see people as I was signed off for really bad PGP and bad back at 32 weeks and I'm going a little crazy at home now haha. This baby needs to hurry up 🤣

OP posts:
MillyMollyManky · 09/12/2022 10:39

*My family are very relaxed. I could most likely spend the majority of the time there upstairs if we did go.

There would be mothers and grandmothers there so I was hoping they would give me tips and things for baby haha.*

This sounds lovely. As long as people are relaxed and understanding so you don’t feel any pressure to be up and about.

Bellesboy1218 · 09/12/2022 10:41

I had my baby 4 days before xmas. We visited with our new lovely Xmas baby and got to introduce our baby to my extended family. I had had a c section, was establishing breast feeding but felt physically very well.

Maybe don't put pressure on yourself to go but if you feel well enough and want to see family then why not? My family is very relaxed and we're respectful that I had a new baby and that he would need to be with me most of the time. I nipped upstairs a lot for feeding and nappy changes but I have great memories of our first Xmas with him x

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 09/12/2022 10:42

They sleep a lot but mainly in the day, at night they tend to be awake a fair bit. I would be very careful mixing a newborn with lots of people who have been travelling because of illnesses. Newborns can't fight off colds etc as well as older babies.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 09/12/2022 10:43

I had one born six days before Christmas but due to complications with me we didn’t get home until the 24th. My parents came to our house and mum cooked the dinner, my dad and dh did everything else, played with our toddler and looked after me and I was ok until my sister in law came over… and I just burst into tears. She was mortified, wondering what she’d done wrong. She’d done nothing wrong at all, it was just hormones, relief and exhaustion.
you’ll be a couple of weeks in by then but I’d play it by ear, don’t make any hard and fast plans. Explain to your mum that you might not be up to staying overnight or if you do, not to be offended if you go off to bed or get overwhelmed and have a good cry. She’s been through it herself so she should understand.

Each baby is different, each birth experience is different, you may have a wonderful birth, a chilled baby, breastfeeding like a textbook mum but you may have a rough time, a baby who won’t feed easily, and feel like crap.

123woop · 09/12/2022 10:47

Just take each day as it comes! I think most people are understanding - if they're not they're arseholes 😂😂
To be honest when mine were newborns it was like Christmas in itself with various people dropping in and coming round for champagne and people having us over for dinner so they could meet the baby. Just be easy on yourself and sleep when you can and don't push yourself to do too much and have lots of cuddles with the baby in front of Christmas movies 🥰

ShesThunderstorms · 09/12/2022 10:51

DD was born a week before Christmas Eve. It was one of the loveliest christmasses I can remember actually. We had a lazy morning, went to my mums for lunch, and me and baby sat on the sofa and were waited in hand and foot! I didn't have to lift a finger other than move to the table to eat lunch!
When visitors came, we just had boxes of mince pies so if they wanted a little something they could.
Newborns do sleep lots so that's easy enough.
I wouldn't be cooking a full Christmas dinner or hosting anyone though. I'd get someone else to be doing all that.

Waitingfordecember · 09/12/2022 10:57

Congratulations OP! I also have a newborn for Christmas this year.

I have a toddler too and, as long as you are really comfortable around your family, I’d still go. IME newborns do sleep a lot and you should still be able to enjoy seeing your family. Plus, there’s nothing nicer than having your own mum to look after you a bit when you have a new baby.

Wetblanket78 · 09/12/2022 11:00

You could just spend Christmas day with family then have them visit you at home. I was bridesmaid at my brother's wedding when my daughter was two weeks old. Literally the day I came out of hospital I went and got measured up for my dress. You don't know how you will feel until after. If you have a difficult birth though just enjoy your baby's first Christmas at home.

DNBU · 09/12/2022 11:22

I had my first on 19th December. Basically don’t try do anything and lower your expectations. All the way down. I was resting almost the entire day and came down for presents and dinner with the baby (my lovely mum and sisters came over and cooked for us). Have a low key celebration at home ideally.

ReallyShouldBeDoingSomethingElse · 09/12/2022 11:40

If you're absolutely sure that family will be supportive but not suffocating, it might be nice to be with your family.

Having said that, for the first week I really needed to be able to focus 100% on DD and me as we had trouble establishing feeding and DD ended up back in hospital. There's no way I could have handled a big family gathering until DD was around 10 days old.

RandomCatGenerator · 09/12/2022 11:45

MillyMollyManky · 09/12/2022 10:39

*My family are very relaxed. I could most likely spend the majority of the time there upstairs if we did go.

There would be mothers and grandmothers there so I was hoping they would give me tips and things for baby haha.*

This sounds lovely. As long as people are relaxed and understanding so you don’t feel any pressure to be up and about.

This. If they’re genuinely very chill, this could be ideal. Also it does help, I found, to have other people around after the first week or so. I started to go a bit mad from just being at home in my pyjamas with my boobs out and a lack of sleep. Other people were definitely a good thing, as long as they were on my terms.

A warning - you’ll be bleeding a lot. No one told me just how much bleeding there would be after birth, whether vaginal or c section birth. So pack accordingly.

Also, I’d suggest packing a pump in case breast feeding doesn’t come easily.

thejadefish · 09/12/2022 11:46

My eldest was born day before Christmas eve. Prioritise yourself and baby and make sure that DH/DP does too. I wasn't expecting to be in labour for 3 days so we weren't prepared (food in the house had gone off by the time I was discharged and shops were closed so not even milk for a cup of tea) had to go to in laws christmas day in order to eat and it was hell. Cousins were over excited and all over the baby - one cousin kept barging into whoever was holding the baby/body slamming himself into them and everyone bar me thought it was cute (aw he's jealous isn't that sweet). If I were in that position again I'd stay at home and only go out/socialise if I felt up to it/really wanted to (I would have been better off staying at home and not eating that day it was that bad). Yes newborns usually sleep a lot, but when and for how long is unpredictable and you will likely be knackered. My advice is stay at home, and have a quiet Christmas. If you feel up to popping out to visit family I'm sure you'll be most welcome!

JudgeJ · 09/12/2022 11:47

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 09/12/2022 10:25

Op, you will not be able to party with a newborn. You will be holding your baby, feeding, changing, holding whilst they sleep. Please read about the 4th trimester.

Even now my youngest is 1 we aren't doing anything.

I think NY with young kids is disappointing unless you have other family with children the same ages.

Of course you can party with a new born! When our No 1 was about 9 days old we were at a Mess party, she slept happily in one of the officer's room, no problem though luckily we weren't of the generation that never put their baby down nor, heaven forbid, 'wore' them we were far too sensible! I'll duck now!