Would you balance stocking with a second hand gift?

[ChristmasTidyings]

DS has asked Santa for a very expensive Lego set.
DD has asked Santa for a new Switch game.
So a large size and price disparity. Both only put one thing on their Christmas list.

DH's godson sold me one of his larger sets which I was planning to save for DD's birthday gift.

Would you:
a)balance the gifts so Santa spends roughy the same price on each child?
b) no, why would you? Each child is getting the one item on their list that they asked for.

if a, would you (Santa):
c) give a larger but second hand Lego set
d) give a slightly smaller but new Lego set

e) give DD e.g. the Lego set from you the parents? Meaning she has an extra "big" gift from parents compared to DS, but over all the same.

Assuming you also get them other gifts and these are just the gifts from santa then I can't see it being a problem as they are both getting what they asked him for

from us
DC2 jumper/ DC 1 tshirt
dressing gown each
pile of books each
4 books - joint
DC1 2 gravitrax extension pieces / DC2 2 small items for hobby

I'd go for the larger Lego set every time.
Unless you know your child will turn their nose up at second hand.

I would balance prices rather than sizes, but if your DC are too young to work this out, I would start preparing them in advance. Or put the switch game in a very large box :)

I would just get them what they wanted because any 'balance' is for your benefit, not theirs.

Santa just gives one present to each child, both getting what they want. No problem.

I'd also give them the same number of gifts to each child from you. I might make some effort to balance up on spend, but wouldn't worry about it too much unless you feel your children are going to be particularly sensitive about it.

We certainly haven't spent the same amount on each child every year. Requests/needs for "big" presents don't always coincide. So long as it isn't a long term pattern and generally balances out over the years then I think it is fine.

Would you:

a)balance the gifts so Santa spends roughy the same price on each child?

Yes, I have the same budget for all kids (non are getting a £400 present because thats over 3x the budget etc... but I would spend £20 overall on one and £100 overall on the other).

b) no, why would you? Each child is getting the one item on their list that they asked for.

My children don't make lists, they joy of xmas is in the suprise and I know my kids well enough to know the things the love.

if a, would you (Santa):

c) give a larger but second hand Lego set

Yes, secondhand presents are great (half my kids gifts this year are secondhand) as long as they are good condition.

d) give a slightly smaller but new Lego set

If I got it for a good price maybe (occasionally new things are good but only if I get a bargain lol) but honestly if I could get the better one secondhand cheaper then definately the secondhand one as long as it had all its bits and was good condition.

e) give DD e.g. the Lego set from you the parents? Meaning she has an extra "big" gift from parents compared to DS, but over all the same.

I dont really understand what this ones trying to say, my kids get a big gift 'delivered' by santa set up and ready to play and a big gift from us anyway.

• but I wouldnt spend £20 on one and £100 on the other

please mumsnet an edit button

while generally id try balance out what is spent to make things equal, in this case as they both want a particular item are both getting what they want i'd leave it at b.

We're talking £160 for DS vs £37 for DD.

Dd has 95% figured Santa but she's still trying to work out how it all gets done.
DS is older but has SN and I'm not sure if he knows.

@mam0918 we never gave them a "big" gift from us as we'd already spent for their Santa request, IL's spoilt them rotten anyway and we have limited space.

Could you get DD a couple more games and wrap them altogether so it's still 'one' present?

I could but as we have only one switch and games will invariably end up being for both of them. So effectively DD will have to share her gift of a game and DS's Lego set will be "his".
I'm probably overthinking!!

Yeah this is shit for your DD if she's going to have to share her game

They should get roughly equal. Not exactly the same but should be roughly same price. Caveat being if they get a phone or laptop at a certain age.

Yes they are both getting one thing they want but there's a big discrepancy in cost, some children will ask for less if say they are worried about money/worried about asking for too much. You can't just say "oh this is what this child wants"

Is everything there in the secondhand set? If its roughly good as new I'd give it, but check that it's all there and in good condition

Another Switch & the game (I have no idea how much a Switch is) so that she has her ow and doesn't have to share?

With your update about the switch game being shared I would definitely give DD the Lego set for Christmas. The price difference is large, but for me the bigger issue is that DD won't have a main present that's just hers.

I would try to spend roughly equal. It's easier though, as we have multiple presents from Santa.

Some years, one of my DC has asked for tiny things, like e.g. a pencil case or umbrella, while the other has asked for a huge playset or expensive lego.

So I would add the second hand lego, from santa. Then I would add a small thing from santa for your DS too, so they both have two. And if I'm honest, it might spiral from there... so you might not want to listen to me!

I'd match the value, not the number of gifts. Or do the game as a shared gift and get something else for your DD. There is far too big a difference in gifts here as it stands.

Most of my DC's gifts are second hand

Has the second hand Lego set got all the pieces, and has it been rebagged so that it corresponds to the instructions? ( Assuming that your dc is a keen builder - this might not matter if she’s more focused on just playing with the set).

Put beside a brand new set, it’s going to be very obviously second hand. Only you know how much that might matter. But if it does I’d save it for her birthday.

Normally I’d come down on the “everyone gets what they’ve asked for” side, but because her game will eventually be a shared item, I would definitely be inclined to get her a fairly decent Lego set as well.

And if the disparity of numbers is more likely to be the factor that your ds notices, I’d get him something small like an annual or Lego book too.

I do appreciate that my solution assumes money isn’t a problem though,

Switches are £250-£350 so maybe a bit much... I know the argos near me had switch lites for £99 a few months ago though.

Could you make the Switch game a shared present from Santa and then give both kids a lego set each? Even if the lego sets are cheaper than you initially planned? How old are the kids? Will they judge off price, size of the presents or the number of presents?

😮 fair enough
(I also don't actually know exactly what the Switch is)

n give both kids a lego set each? Even if the lego sets are cheaper than you initially planned?
DS has specified which Lego set (asd, obsession, can't fob him off with something else. And I already bought it)

DD is 10 and yes you're right @Whinge The price difference is large, but for me the bigger issue is that DD won't have a main present that's just hers.

Of toy have already bought the Lego set what are you asking? I thought you were asking if you should buy the Lego set second hand as one of your options

*If you