What are you buying your DH?

[BFPDec21]

DH wants for nothing really (or that I know of). He hasn't got any hobbies but has mentioned wanting:

• A sword making course (too expensive, nowhere safe to secure a sword in a home with young children)

• 3D printer (nowhere to put it, too expensive)

• A console game (it's expensive although I considered it but he has a habit of not helping out with bottle feeds because he's too tired from having fallen asleep on the sofa, I'm reluctant to get something that will make this worse).

I've never asked for big items myself and usually receive a collection of smallish gifts (smellies, make-up, candles, usually TKMaxx finds that I'm happy with) but bought him a £300 gift last Christmas so that's my big present to him for a while since we have another child now and there's a cost of living crisis.

I asked him straight what he wants but he doesn't know. I planned on a collection of bits and bobs and he said no smellies, fragrance, tools, clothes, etc. and he poo pooed them all. I've thought about books but can't remember when I last saw him read as he's always on TikTok when he has spare time.

Any ideas?

Whats your budget? Would he like something like a Blacksmith experience if he's mentioned Sword making?

(Incidentally... DH keeps his sword on top of a wardrobe. It can't actually hurt anyone...)

Tbh it's difficult, the things he has asked for you're giving reasons why he can't have them so in theory whatever you buy is not on his wish list and may not be wanted or liked .
FWIW I'd buy the console game , not buying that because he's tired on the sofa and doesn't help with bottle feeds sounds pretty lame to me .

Get the console game.

get him to step up with feeding the baby.

completely separate issues.

Now I want to know more about the sword making!! Never considered such an activity, but it sounds strangely intriguing.

I think the game sounds like a good compromise.

For yourself, do your own Christmas list for him to choose from. We’ve been together a loooong time and now I buy most of my own Christmas presents through the month of December (all joint money) and give them to DH to wrap for me. It’s perfect. I’ll have forgotten some of things by Christmas Day. He still surprises me, but actually I’d be totally happy with just what I’ve chosen as I love it all 😂

It's not a lame excuse when I'm breastfeeding all day and night and he misses the bottle feeds he can help with. I asked him to help make a bottle the other evening and he said he'd go to do it and immediately went and laid on the sofa to have a nap. I get that's a separate issue but realistically, if I buy him it, when do you think he'll play it?

My budget is £75 this year so what he's asking for is out of the question apart from the game, which was at the higher end of the budget last time I checked.

He knows what I like, no issues there. I'm chuffed with the smaller things and don't ask for much.

@ChristmasCwtch it is from what I've seen! It's right up his street but local courses are £200+ for a full day which is what he wanted. I'd have to save up for it and sort out a space for it. He wouldn't want it tucked away.

Totally unromantic, but DH and I don’t buy one another gifts. We buy things we need/want when we need/want them (if they’re in our budget) and it seems a wasted effort/money to try and guess what the other might want. Getting out of the habit of present buying was a bit weird at first, but I actually enjoy our Christmas together much more now.

I'd stick to your budget. There are lots of experiences you can get in the £75 range.
Axe throwing has been popular around here and there are places you can go do this and make a night of it with drinks, food etc.

Surprised he's asking for such expensive gifts in current times and with a new baby

OP what about this www.notonthehighstreet.com/oldfieldforge/product/day-off-spent-blacksmithing-at-oldfield-forge

Alternatively you can get one of their gift vouchers and he can put the rest towards it. They have a sword making course www.oldfieldforge.co.uk/vouchers/

If it’s not brand new out could you buy it in CEX secondhand? Or a voucher towards it? None of those things are needs, and with COL crisis I think you are within rights to stick to the more boring and useful this year especially.

I wouldn’t buy him the console, it’s an excuse to not parent or do household stuff.
I’m sure you’re very busy so I’d just get him something that suits you to get, his list of ‘don’t wants’ is pretty restrictive.

Is it a console or a game for a console?

I definitely wouldn’t buy him anything that gives him an excuse to help less, as you say, so the game would be a no no. If he is poo pooing your ideas for small gifts is he hoping that you will give him something bigger even though he knows it would mean blowing the budget? I would be inclined to buy a voucher for something you can do together if he can’t come up with anything reasonable within budget but then again I am a bit of a cow 😁

I didn't think about vouchers for forging he can put money towards, I might do that.

I forgot to say I'd bought him £30 worth of stuff already anyway.

It's not a punishment with the game, it's just I'd rather not buy something that's going to be a hindrance to me and I'll end up nagging over.

I’ve bought mine a fancy compressed air bike pump thing for his racing bike, a decent single malt, a fruity gin he likes, aftershave and a few foody bits.

Biltong, beer glass shaped pasta, socks, a coffee plant , I'm sure there's other stuff in the Christmas bag as I buy throughout the year, I forgot a sweatshirt and a beanie with a light in it.

It sounds like he’s lazy; you have bigger issues than buying him a Christmas present