Help! I've lost my mojo and not bought much

[Blisterlip]

I'm feeling very down this year. Nothing discernible just not got "on it". Bought odd stocking bits but not got my kids either of their BIG gifts. I'm feeling overwhelmed and just ignoring it. DH hates Christmas and it's always down to me to make it special but I've not done it this year. We're hoping to get tree later which will help but I've never been so disorganised before.
What can I do to get on it? Even a list app has had me wanting to run away. It's just not like me. I feel doom laden. We've not much cash but can afford some stuff. Gah!
I've been applying for and got a new job and I think that's taken over my head - not because I'm career mad but because current job is crushing my spirit. I feel a bit like so many other posters this year, that I may have ADD but skipping into being really badly organised. I've got about 60 tabs open on my Safari with gift ideas. I just need to buy don't I? My quest for perfection often leads me to make no decision. And my mum's air fryer was allegedly dispatched 16th nov but not here!!

How old are you kids?
Could you maybe get them to write a list of things they'd like if they're old enough?
You've still got plenty of time don't panic!

I'd chase the air fryer first - find out what's going on there, if you haven't already, since it's been paid for.

Get kids to write a list or letter to Santa depending on ages. Or sit down with pen & paper, and just do it.

Go through your tabs, order anything you definitely want to buy. Swipe the rest.

Look at kids lists/letters. Cross off anything you've already bought. Pick 2/3 things off each and buy them. Order or buy paper too!

Take stock once everything arrives & decide if it's enough (probably is!).

In that order. Then start wrapping and labelling so you're not doing it all on Christmas eve!

Thank you thank you. You're the Mumsnet equivalent of talking me down from the ledge of fear. I've just realised I've forgotten to take my anti depressants for two (3?) days too which won't help.
I'm going to start with tabs on phone and buy those.
I'm kicking myself because the offer for Dior Sauvage for DS16 has gone and it's now ££! I always think "what if there's something better?(. Why? Why do I do this to myself ?
16 and 11 kids by the way. DS2 birthday next week too.

Buy the big presents and a couple of stocking fillers for the DCs and then just take your DHs approach for the rest. Focus on yourself and lightening the load and having a bit of a break/rest.

Leave the tree for now, it's far too early. Maybe sort it out in a couple of weeks time?

But it's not the end of the world if there is no tree/special dinner/organised activities and if others in the house want these things, they need to understand that they don't just happen by magic, it takes effort and it's not all down to you to step up.

How old are the DCs? If they're secondary age, they can pull their weight too - putting up decorations, prepping veg, cooking dinner and clearing up afterwards, going with DH to get presents for you etc.

Cross posted, just seen DC ages. They're definitely old enough to take a share of the workload.

There's four people in your house and they are all perfectly capable of making Christmas happen (OK maybe not the 11 YO) but it definitely shouldn't be all on you.

I saw an email from the works this morning it said "20 sleeps" or something - that sent me into a bit of a Frenzy to be honest!!!!

I need main presents and some fillers I'm a bit behind this year too

I hear you, OP.

I'm sure many others are feeling similar this year...there just seems to be an onslaught of gloom-laden news around, from all directions.

So digital detox today.
Instead, I'm putting aside 1 hr to put on some relaxing festive carols quietly in the background, light my 'Brandy Christmas Pudding' & 'Mulled Wine' candles for a bit of cheer, and focus on just 3 of my countless organising tasks.

I figured it may help my mindset. Even if I achieve only a few online purchases, it's better than getting so het up that I'm frozen into inertia.

Well done on the new job front, that's great. I'm sure it will give you an energy boost, once your system adjusts to having left what sounds like a draining previous job.

Calm down. It's December 4th. You have ages!! I am usually really organised but I have a new job that is taking up a lot of my energy. I still have a lot to do. There's plenty of time! You need half a day with no jobs and you can get the majority sorted.

I hear you OP. I think you'll feel better once you start though. Get the tree up (it's early but did help here) then spend an hour ordering stuff. Just get it done then it won't take up so much space in your head.

Why not cut yourself some slack and limit the presents to 1 main and 3 small per DC. Deadline is tomorrow.

your husband is leaving it all to you because he can. Give him one of the lists and get him buying those, and you do the other list.

don't make life so hard for yourself. At least it isn't Christmas week, you have time.

take the fear away by having a defined scope, and don't deviate, the feeling of being overwhelmed is because you are making it an unlimited task.

Tree
DC presents (x50% you and 50% DH to buy and wrap)
Food

thats all. End of project

enjoy the feeling of having a new job in 2023. Focus on you!

Deadline by the way is for each Dc to give you their presents list of 1 main and 3 small. Email or piece of paper is fine.

Now I'm tearful at the kindness. This board is like a hug. No vipers present and just help - which is what I'm crying out for. I'm stubborn and want perfection, but "good enough" is just that. Good enough. I'm off to walk dog now then footie with DS1 THEN will do some specific tasks. Air fryer 101 is the first.
I was getting a multi cooker type and it was showing available (all the cheaper ones were sold out ) so where the heck is it ?

To cheer us up, in a wry way:

Indeed!!!
If anyone has bought Dior Sauvage Dior less than a small family hatchback I'd be grateful too !!

Which one are you looking for?

Google shows EDP, EDT, various sizes, possibly other things I don't understand, various prices.

Boots seem to have some offers, you'll know it's legit because some of the other results look dodgy, and you'll get a few Boots points too.

Don't think he'll care as long as he gets EDT or EDP tbh. I'll try boots

Ok. 2 gifts ordered. Not for DSs though. Will get to them. I'm trying though !

I'm feeling similar but I think it's partly because, pre-Covid, we had primary aged DC in the family who had long lists of wanted toys and, with some bribery in the form of sweets or hot chocolate, would get excited about a Christmas light trail or similar. Now, we have teens/almost teens and it's all very different.
So I've sat down and thought about what I want to do, which bits I'm going to make the DC do (very limited that - let's be realistic), decided to take advantage of the DC being a bit older to arrange to do a couple of afternoon things with my friends when I can leave the DC at home and also made sure I've arranged a couple of times when they can go out with their mates so they don't get all tetchy being at home & polite to grandparents.
Now I've worked out what Christmas will look like and that I can still do the bits which really matter to me, I'm feeling more in the mood again.

For me it was always perfectionism about gifts that paralysed me. Wanting to find the very thing that people loved and never realised they wanted. And then I'd go out and spend more money than i had, just to get it done. Rarely did I find that 'perfect' thing.
Ive simplified Christmas now. Minimised who I buy for. For a while my getting older kids got money and a little thing to unwrap.
Now, they are adults and can buy their own things, so it's fun again, getting them a nice 'thing' that they will probably like, with no expectation of changing their world.

I get my mum a sentimental present like a brooch. Have been known to get a flower bouquet delivered. No more perfectionism is a revelation. DH and I put our heads together and think of something we'd like to do, like a comedy show or a national trust subscription and do that. Pressure totally off!

Because I'm very predictable, I'm going to link flylady's holiday missions once again, because they've helped me enjoy the countdown to Christmas a bit more the last few years.

First of all - breath. We've all been there. I felt exactly the same last year. We put so much pressure on ourselves to have everything perfect that it takes away the joy from everything else.

Make a to - do list, then tick it off as you go along. It's only the 4th December so plenty of time to get everything sorted and not lose your head in the meantime. You've got this 👍

I've ordered a few bits and main gift for younger son. Still dithering over the Dior - it's just so £££ for very little bottle. He's asked for AF1 Nikes too and they're eye watering as he wants the classic plain styles despite me having a great code for some not plain. There's no point getting them though as he wouldn't wear them

I've also been on the look out for Dior Sauvage and have ordered from here: www.parfumdreams.co.uk. this was the best deal I could find (still a bit eye watering!)

Ordered. Thanks so much !!!

Has yours arrived yet? My DH helpfully asked if I was sure it wasn't too good to be true. Right after asking what we were getting kids. Sigh.
Still have sorted my first batch of good daughters, got a replacement air fryer on the way (mine is classed as missing now- stolen?! ) and ordered my sister a book

Not yet but I didnt order long ago and it comes from Germany. I did check the reviews and they were a little mixed but it does look like a legit company.