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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Is this spoiling DS?

48 replies

Christmaswonder · 01/12/2022 16:26

DS’ birthday is just after Christmas, he’ll turn 7.

Earlier in the year I thought he might want a Nintendo Switch as he’s played on his friends’, but as we got closer and he wasn’t asking for one, I pointed out that if he did want one he would probably not get many other gifts given the cost. He opted for several presents instead of the Switch.

For Christmas so far he’s got some great gifts that he’s asked for, value comes to about £190. He gets gifts from grandparents too, not ridiculous amounts but I know MIL has got him another Lego set he was after. My DParents pay for us all to go to Center Parcs every year so they get a token gift to open.

He’s now asked for a Nintendo Switch for his birthday. We have already got him one gift for his birthday that he wanted which is £50.

Our first thought to the Switch was no way but actually, on reflection I think if his birthday was say, April, we would have said yes. He probably does have less spent on his birthday overall with it being so close to Christmas.

Do you think it’s too much to get him the Switch as well? The only other tech he has is a Kindle Fire kids’ tablet which he plays on the weekend sometimes. It’s tricky because I also have a 3 year old who wants practically nothing so the value of their gifts is a lot less.

OP posts:

yentirb · 01/12/2022 19:53

If you can afford it, I would. As you said if his birthday would be later on in the year then the switch would be his main present so I'd do the sales

yentirb · 01/12/2022 19:53

Same*

ZenNudist · 01/12/2022 19:53

7 is young for a switch do you mean as an 8th Birthday present which makes most sense.

It's a very expensive present. I'd get the switch not the lite, false economy as its great as a home console system that can be enjoyed over a good few years. Then you need games, screen protector, carry case, home controllers. We got Mario cart as well which comes with the wheel.

user1487194234 · 01/12/2022 19:55

I would definitely get him it

Enko · 01/12/2022 19:55

I have a ds with a Christmas close birthday. I spend the same amount on birthdays and Christmas. Or I spend the same i would his sisters who does not have December birthdays

fifteenohfour · 01/12/2022 20:05

I'm a Christmas birthday and got joint Christmas/birthday presents. It sucked and you are made to feel guilty for having a birthday so close to Christmas. No one ever made an effort for me. Family would get me a Christmas present and that was supposed to do me for my birthday too. You are right if he wasn't getting presents so close together and his birthday was April or summer next year you wouldn't think twice. I would get him the switch.

Minniem2020 · 01/12/2022 20:09

I don't think it's too much. One of my stepsons birthdays is the week after Xmas and I feel bad for him as he always seems to get less than the other one. If you can afford it then I'd get him the switch. And enjoy the 3 year old not wanting much while it lasts!

Thoughtful2355 · 01/12/2022 20:20

Id definitely get it for him, its not fair that other kids get 2 celebrations with things they want bur xmas birthdays get left out.

But then for xmas i have bought 2 switches for my kids as well as spent £150 on each child as well as a annual zoo pass.

Personally i would usually spend £150-200 per child minimum on xmas and £150-£200 per child on birthdays.

Inasec24 · 01/12/2022 20:22

I would buy it. They are only kids for such a short time. Make out like he can't have it then let it be a proper surprise - he'll always remember it

DollieBantrysPantry · 01/12/2022 20:29

I would buy it for him, as you said if his birthday was in April you would have bought it with no hesitation.

EcoCustard · 01/12/2022 20:34

Two of my Dc have close to Christmas birthdays, with two summer born Dc.

Ds is getting a switch lite for Christmas along with some other gifts. He received some fab birthday presents too. His siblings aren’t getting a switch but plenty of gifts they want with different values. It will even out through the years. Dh and I had a few discussions about costs, presents for the kids and decided that if his birthday was July like his siblings we wouldn’t question the Switch lite it’s only because it’s somewhat of a double whammy and not his fault.

Original poster

Christmaswonder · 01/12/2022 21:11

Thanks all. I’ve never set budgets for DC birthdays and Christmas, but we’ve never gone overboard before so the switch at £260 with a game is by far the most we’ve ever spent. I don’t like the idea of setting budgets personally as I can imagine I’d end up buying things for the sake of it.

We can afford it, but also wouldn’t spend so much every birthday as a matter of course. I’d rather buy what the child wants (within reason! He asked for a PS5 in the summer after playing on one once and that’s a big no as I feel he’s too young, a Switch feels to be more of a 7 year old friendly console).

OP posts:

JessesMum777888 · 01/12/2022 21:14

if you can Afford it and he is appreciative then you are not spoiling him in a bad way x

WakingUpDistress · 01/12/2022 21:40

Our first thought to the Switch was no way but actually, on reflection I think if his birthday was say, April, we would have said yes.

You’ve answered your own question there.
It’s his birthday and has nothing to do with christmas. If you would have bought it fir an April birthday, then do it fir a January birthday.

Unless you are happy to only give token presents for his birthday forever more.

Another way, if that works for him, is to celebrate his birthday a bit later on in the year (end if January?) so that you and family never have that sort if dilemma. (Plus it helps with the cost Because let’s be honest, no one is planning to spend twice as much at this time if the year fir Christmas and birthday. Instead it’s all about ‘combined presents’ and not wanting to spoil the child)

DMLady · 01/12/2022 21:42

Eleusa · 01/12/2022 17:11

If the only issue is the proximity to Christmas and you’d have bought it if his birthday were in April, then buy it. It’s not his fault he has a Christmassy birthday.

This!

pocketvenuss · 01/12/2022 22:30

It's an unanswerable question. Is it extravagant? Yes for some, not in the slightest for others

QueenBeex · 01/12/2022 22:38

I have this issue, kind of. My sons birthday is 3 days prior to Christmas and I know if he was born say mid year I would more than likely spend more on him. Although what I do now is anything I don't get him on his list I do get him halfway through the year as a treat if he still wants it that is.

AlwaysGinPlease · 01/12/2022 22:44

They're only little once. It's not too much at all. Make his little face light up. Our DC are all adults. I miss them being little especially at Christmas.

ChristmasTidyings · 02/12/2022 12:02

I'm going to go against the grain and say don't buy it for him as a birthday gift. If, as you can say, you can afford it, buy it as a family device. You say you want to use it too. Plus you'll save on being the bad guy always having to remove "his" switch from him and can remind him it's not "his". It will also be easier to adjudicate any arguments and share time. Our friends have 3 DC and the eldest was given a switch with the intention of all 3 being allowed to play on it. You can guess how well that works out when his little brother wants to play on "his switch"!

Give him a game or two for it.

RewildingAmbridge · 02/12/2022 12:27

We've had DS' birthday this week, I think all in we spent around £300 plus party (at home mainly family, I made the cake but got Costco sandwich platters etc). If you can afford it it's fine. I know friends who spend less but buy more individual items if that makes sense, I'd rather a few things that will last and don't mind spending the extra money for that, he gets a few little bits and pieces/books etc too.
DHs birthday is late November and he said so many times people would get him joint presents that they wouldn't have done if he had a summer birthday and weren't really a joint present at all.
IMO a birthday is more about the party/presents/the child as it is only their day. Christmas is about family, spending time together, sharing good food etc with a few presents on top. That still holds when the birthday is Christmas adjacent.

mam0918 · 02/12/2022 12:39

Christmaswonder · 01/12/2022 21:11

A budget is not a target it a LIMIT... where do people get that idea?

It must be a rich persons thought because I dont know anyone who has to budget to survive who would consider it for one second to be a 'target' they must spend too.

That said it increadibly easy to spend £50 on birthday gifts, never had to 'try' to hit that limit, I have to TRY to stay under it.

How do you draw the conclusion that by having say a £100 annual birthday gift budget you will spend MORE than the random unplanned £310 you are currently planning to spend or that you would somehow end up with more 'unnessacery' stuff?

Original poster

Christmaswonder · 02/12/2022 14:34

@ChristmasTidyings yes I see why you would say that! To be fair DS isn’t possessive about stuff, he and his sibling fight quite a lot but it doesn’t tend to be over their things. He already is pretty good at “sharing” his Kindle Tablet with his sibling if we ask him to, on long car journeys etc. We used to have a big problem on capping screen time when DS was about 4 but he seems to have grown out of that too and is usually pretty good when it’s time to stop playing on the tablet/turn the Tv off, although I’m sure there’ll be a period of adjustment with the new tech!

@mam0918 by setting a budget every year, for us it would mean either never buying any big ticket items (scooters, bikes, tech) or setting an unrealistic budget that we’d never reach anyway (say £500) so for us I don’t see the point. Last year DS probably had an absolute maximum of about £100 spent on him for Christmas, and less than £50 for birthday, as he mainly had toys/lego. The year before, he got a new scooter for Christmas which he needed as well as wanted, so that was more than £100. I’m not dead against spending more on occasions, but for example if DS gets the Switch this year for his birthday, next year he wouldn’t be getting another expensive console. This year we can afford the Switch - it’s in our budget. It might not be the case next year!

OP posts:

NoelNoNoel · 02/12/2022 15:17

Could you swap things around and give a switch as a family Christmas present and then most of the other stuff as birthday gifts?

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