Gifts adult children

[Isthisnom]

2 adult children in 30s. Both reasonably well off , own their own homes etc but not lots of spare cash for luxuries.

One child has their own children who I buy Christmas gifts for.

is it ok to reduce how much I spend on the child who has their own children given I buy for grandchildren too or given their similar financial positions should I continue to spend the same amount of money on each adult child?

I usually spend around £200-£300 each.

I don't think you need to be spending this sort of money as you head towards retirement. A token gift should be enough.

I would just get each person a present. I wouldn't give the one without children more or the other one less. I think you're spending too much on them.

No

i give mine tha same. 1 has a husband who gets the same. I has a child who gets separate gifts

dc 1 £300
dc 3 £300 dc 3 husband (£300
dc 2 £300 dc2 child £300

reduced budget according to your actual spend (ie the £300 could be £30)

I think you can either spend the same on each DC or the same on each DC including their DC. My MIL used to do it the second way and it was fine. The sibling with no DC or DP used to get a lot of presents and the ones with lots of DC received a lot less as she was buying for their DC as well.

They are a different relationship to you though...treat your children the same, so same budget, and treat your grandchildren the same.
No need to spend a fortune, keep within budget, e.g.
Children £100
Grandchildren £50

Agree with this

This is what my ILs do.

I have an adult child with two children, doing well but not limitless money like most people. I give them a lump sum for Christmas/birthdays so they can buy a big item, put it towards a holiday or have a short break with it, or split it up and buy individual presents. Depends what they want/need that year.

I do give a bit extra to the one with no children, same result as giving the one with children less but I prefer to think of it that way.

Why give the one with less expenses more?

Absolutely. Now my stepsons both have kids I buy for the babies and a token gift for the couple - this year I got them a nice bottle opener and wine stop. I spend about £50-100 on each family. In the past I've bought the couples theatre vouchers and flavoured vodka.

How well off each of your children is/their jobs etc should have no bearing on what you spend on them! Equally, whether they have been able to have their own children should have no bearing either. Treat and spend on your own children the same!

If they have been able to and choose to have children- their choice. Yes, I wouldn't spend more on that child because they have been able to conceive children. Surely if you spend more on the other, just because they have been able to have children- then you would give to same amount you spent on the childless couple???

As the child who has a baby I would be pretty upset to be treated differently to my sister who doesn't.
If my parents said that as they were now buying baby presents (it's her first Xmas) they would be spending less on other people so we would both get less then that would be fine (and im 90% sure my sister would agree). But to treat your children differently based on if they have kids is not fair.

While I know it's an approach favoured by a lot of people I've never understood the 'family money ' argument that tots up everything given to the members of one family as though they all benefit from it. Surely each family group is made up of individuals, and all should be treated equally (imo). Otherwise you would end up giving less to grandchildren if they have siblings and more to one that is an only child...... that seems unfair to me.

We've got three adult children, plus their partners, and they all receive the same, more or less (maybe just a few pounds difference depending on what they've asked for). Similarly with our grandchildren. If we reach the stage where we need to cut back everyone will get a little less.