What’s a sensible budget for adult relatives?

[polkadotdinosaur]

I’m struggling to know what to spend. Only buying for both parents and siblings/their partners - not going as far as cousins and aunties etc.

I know it will vary but I don’t know if £20 is right, or £50? More? A box of chocolates / lindt reindeer and one item of clothing is towards the £30 mark but this feels so meaningless. Finding it difficult for ideas this year.

Totally depends on your circumstances, I personally do a secret santa with my side of the family £50 limit and we spend similar on FIL. SIL & aldult nieces around £20 each. Thats all the family though so not a lot to buy for compared to some.

I think most people would probably not spend £100 on someone who only buys them a book for Christmas. That would be really weird?

Again
disagree

my brother, an artist, buys me a joke prezzie for a fiver! With an IOU. It’s a family joke.

I spent £140 on him.

Ok. Jolly good. You’re not the one asking how much to spend though!

If someone isn’t sure, then the usual approach would be to think about how much money you can afford (mentioned already loads of times) plus what they will be likely to spend on you.

I really don't get the oh they spend £50 so I'll have to spend the same mentality. Just keep your own £50 and buy yourself what you want.

£20 is more than enough, or secret Santa a better idea.

£100/150 for my mum, £100 for sister, FIL and SIL, £50 for my dad and aunt and uncle. More on the children (only 4 in the family!)

I only buy for my DF, and I’d say I spend about £50. I would spend more on something if I knew he’d really like it.

I think £20 is more right for siblings and parents, possibly less for partners.

I couldn't afford to spend hundreds + they don't need hundeds worth of stuff (anything expensive but affordable my parents/siblings buy themselves so that only leaves thoughtful token gifts or unaffordable stuff).

For in law/partners I tend to spend more like £5, just a token thing.

It really depends. I normally spend on my mum a bit more as I know she never treats herself. So nice chocolates, wine, handcream and body butter.
My PIL are more for practical items, this year MIL asks for a bog-standard hairdryer as her one is dying.

When my mum still spoke to my sister, my sister would get more expensive gifts than I would get as DSis had less disposable income, 3 small children and a house while I had more money and just me. That was absolutely fair for me.

No but I am talking in general terms

buying a present for someone according to specifically how much they spend on you… is not an approach my family or friends or I follow happily but you do. Fair enough

Ok, but

1. you weren’t talking in general terms at all, you were talking about one person you exchange presents with.
2. you are being pretty rude in your tone in this thread, and others.

I think if you have roughly similar financial circumstances to (say) your sibling then most people would aim to spend similar amounts, no? It's not that the exact amount of spend matters per se, but it's just a bit awkward on both sides if you have a total mismatch. If I spent a lot more than normal one year in a way that was obvious I think I would feel the need to explain it eg. that I just really wanted to buy this particular thing this year and it doesn't mean that I've raised the stakes permanently!

Also to people saying to match it up I dont give to recieve neither do my family.

I gift my siblings but they dont gift me anything (they are all young single lads and honestly the thought is so far out of their minds lol), Im still going to buy them gifts though as thats my 'love language'.

I gift my parents but my mam gives me cash way more than I spend on stuff for her, plus random little bits and stuff for the kids etc...

As for my dad his gifts are always wildly random so no way to predict one year it might be purfume, the next a first aid kit, the next some chocolates and the next a video camera lol.

It would be impossible to match it up + then what do you do if one rich brother spend £100 on you and your poorer brother gives you a £5 token gift?

Gifts arent tit for tat.

Used to be £50 for each parent, £30 for siblings and partners. This year parents are going to be £30 each and siblings and partners £20. Not a huge cut but it'll make a difference to us. Our mortgage renews next year and we're worried about it

It’s a good starting point if you are the poster who is asking how much to spend though!

£50 each on parents, £35 for nieces and nephews and I don’t bother with the rest of the relatives.

That was in answer to you asking me a question. Not the OP

I am being pretty rude because

a) I think financial circumstances is kind of relevant to a sensible budget

b) I don’t aim to give presents in accordance to how much they are likely or have historically spent on me

we have a different approach. Each to their respective own!

Neither of those things are a reason to be rude. There are 44 posts on this thread (45 including this one) and 8 of them are you. You've got your point across.

Responding to a poster! 😂

We only do adults when we are spending crimbo together, otherwise it’s a bit impersonal delivery service. When we do it’s about 50 a head.

So out of curiousity say you are at IL instead of going to your parents then do you just not buy your parents anything?

So they get to be without you and without gift? I mean the point of gifts is that your thinking about them but that clearly conveys the message of out of sight out of mind.

£25. And it's been that for years...

We spend between £50-£100 on my Dad. Then around £50 each on siblings & partners and Nephews. There are also a couple of Aunties and Uncles that we spend £25-30 each on.