12 year old doesn't really need or want much

[lonelyoldme12]

DD 12 doesn't really want much or need much for Christmas and is only looking at the below items. I'm feeling guilty because when she was younger I got carried away and Father Christmas would bring far too much so now worry that just the below doesn't look much especially compared to her little sisters pile (8 and still in to toys and I seem to have been able to buy quite a bit for a fraction of what eldest is getting)

New phone
smart watch
Own hairdryer

She will get lots of presents from grandparents and aunts and uncles so would have more than the above to actually open on Xmas morning.

If that’s all she wants, then what’s the point in buying unnecessary stuff so she has more to open? She’ll probably be more than happy watching her sister open piles of toys.

That said, does she need any clothes? I managed to get my dd some Nike stuff reduced in sales here and there. Plus pyjamas/onesie etc.

Can you get her accessories;
ring light for the phone
new phone cases
printer for phone
different smart watch straps
new hairbrushes
hair accessories

Granted they aren’t main gifts but if it’s a substantially smaller pile to her sisters, I may even it out.

You are getting all these?
My daughter was older when she got a smart phone,that was her main present and she had a few other small things.
If she appreciates her phone hear from her for hours as she sets it up and then calls all her friends.
Don't forget to set parental controls or she'll be up all night with it!
Smart watch for her birthday.

Those are really expensive gifts if you’re getting all those! I wouldn’t pad it out with loads of other stuff, if she doesn’t want or need it!

A new phone and a smart watch will cost loads, I'm sure she understands that two small but very expensive items will look like less than 20 large cheap items at her age. Don't just buy stuff for no reason!

Thanks for ideas and also those telling me not to feel guilty because her pile isn't big like her sisters.

Similar ages here only Ds1 won't be getting a main, expensive present as he doesn't want anything. Even worse, what will bring him the most pleasure is a load of books.... but they will be on his kindle so nothing to open.

I've cut down a lot this year so his younger brother won't have a huge pile either. Im hoping DS1 will just appreciate that his "invisible" books will bring him hours of pleasure 😊

She obviously understands the costs of things now so I think she will be fine.

If I was going to pad out the pile though (I do like to go big) I’d fill it with things like pjs, oodie (fake), some self care bits Florence by Mills bits or other teen pamper bits, yummy chocolates.

At that age you can say that some Christmas’s are big years and others small. So for us a big year was a xbox so there were not loads of other things. This year ds has asked for something less expensive so I may buy him a few bits to open as well. He knows that if he asks for something expensive then that is it, we do the same with older ds. It does even out for both in the end.

You’ve said yourself that her younger sisters pile of presents cost a fraction of what she’d like. If a 12 year old getting those items felt hard done by because they didn’t have the same number of presents as a younger sibling, despite knowing the cost of their own wish list, then I’d have to conclude they’re not really mature enough yet to have and appreciate the big ticket items.

In reality your 12 year old does understand the difference so it’s just you overthinking it. She knows Santa’s not real so it’s fine to say in advance that now she’s older and wants more expensive things, she won’t have the same volume as a child who’s still into toys.

If I was going to pad that pile out it would be, hoodie, selection box, shower gel, shampoo / conditioner.

Basically stuff you'd be buying anyway.

I always used to pad it out with little things that didn't cost much like new socks, stationery/pens for school, chocolates etc.

You could do a stocking stuffed full of loads of cheap bits. Look in the Range, Home Bargains, B and M, supermarkets. I am thinking bath bombs, body lotion, nail varnish, sweets/crisps/chocolate, earrings/rings etc (e.g. from Tesco), magazines, books etc

Wow, that’s a huge amount for one child.

I find the whole notion of having some spending or scale target for Christmas sort of tacky and shallow. What you have already planned is already about three times what my 12 year old will get. It is a cliche to say it but what is the actual Christmas message here? That we should shower our no doubt already over priveleged children with more tat, create more landfill and agonise over which things we should buy they don't need. I read threads like this and I think we really fucking doomed as a species.

A new phone AND a smart watch???
That'll cost an absolute fortune won't it?!

Surely by 12, she's old enough to understand that things like phones and smart watches are small and expensive, and will therefore naturally not make as big a pile as one made up from toys for a much younger child?

Plus at that age she's probably quite environmentally aware, so won't want a load of 'stuff' for the sake of it?

All the Peoples creaming BUT IT'S A FORTUNE just catch your breath and calm down. Not everything has to be the latest iPhone or Apple Watch. Some kids are more than happy with cheaper phones like Oppo which can be had for £80 brand new. You can get perfectly usable smart watches for £25+ as well. Not everybody spends £800k on the latest top of the rage items.

My own daughter and nephew are more than happy with my or my sisters 2 year old iPhones that are in perfect condition as screen protected etc. To me, it's better to give them a 2nd hand but perfect condition phone in the box and it saves me a fortune as I get the upgrade anyway. My daughter was just as happy with £25 quelled ear buds as she would have been with Air Pods. Not all kids only want/expect ££££