Doing the something you want/read/wear/need presents?

[BonnesVacances]

I think we might do it this year for DC who are 21 & 18. I like the idea of being able to give them something practical (need) and limiting myself to one thing they've said they want without worrying it's not enough. I get them books and PJs or something to wear every year anyway.

I was wondering if anyone has tried it with older DC?

You always get people on saying what a miserable rhyme this is, but I usually use it as a guide for my DC and find that it gives a good variety of gifts. I usually get something hobby-related for the 'need' present though rather than a practical gift. That way it often tends to fulfil another 'want' criteria as well as 'need'!

21 and 18? Surely not

Why?

I did that list with younger ones but stopped with lists for my older kids - I just have a bit of a chat with them.

I've always done this for stockings. Actually thinking about it I've pretty much always done it for presents as well. DC have never complained.

Did this once, cost significantly more, never again.

I'm intrigued - how did it end up costing more - assuming you were buying fewer gifts than previously? Did you end up buying 4 big presents to compensate for buying fewer?

Why? Because they're adults. Just ask them what they'd like for Christmas instead of introducing some "cute" present buying ditty for them. Bit late 🙈

But that's surely just down to what you bought, not the concept? Unless you usually don't buy anything/buy very little.

But the 'cute ditty' is for the buyer not the receiver - to rein in and guide the buying and get a nice variety of gifts. Yes, ask them what they want obviously, but if there's the budget to buy a couple of extra bits then why not use the 'cute ditty' to give some ideas?

I'm 44 and I think my parents still do something similar...they'll ask me (or us as they usually get a joint gift for the main gift) what we'd like and then get a couple of extra bits that could quite easily fit the ditty!

"But the 'cute ditty' is for the buyer not the receiver - to rein in and guide the buying and get a nice variety of gifts. Yes, ask them what they want obviously, but if there's the budget to buy a couple of extra bits then why not use the 'cute ditty' to give some ideas?"

Because it's 21 years too late 😂

Eh? Does present buying for your kids stop at 21?? As I say, I'm 44 and my parents still buy me a Christmas gift.

Of course not. But introducing this in adulthood is very random. Surely just say "you've got X amount roughly, is there anything you'd like?"

My kids are younger - they're not adults yet. But I've loosely used this rhyme for years because I like the variety it gives. They aren't the only gifts they get because they have a large extended family who usually come to me for ideas so anything we don't get from their lists I'll pass on to them. But the gifts from me and DH will loosely follow want/need/wear/read and more often than not I find their lists of 'wants' fit the ditty anyway, so they are all wants! I often see comments where people take it very literally and think that poor little Johnny is only getting one thing he actually wants plus a pair of school shoes, an encyclopaedia and a pair of socks that he doesn't want all because of some silly rhyme.

I use it for all of us including my mum and dh. Dd for example has

Main present of fancy football boots
Book - start of some YA fantasy book series
Wear - a box of odd socks
Want - a pretty silver ring
Need - a Nando's voucher

Then a stocking with some silly puzzles, stationary, earrings and smellies in . She's 13 and I have been asking til I'm blue in the face what she wants and the only thing she said was the ring (it's sterling silver barbed wire around a black onyx heart - such a goth baby).

It helps me keep my budget under control, gets people stuff they will use and (crucial as mother of twins) keeps everyone with roughly the same volume. I give my dh my list based upon roughly the same idea too. My need present is usually a bottle of gin.....

I don't know what to tell, you it just doesn't work for us, it really sucks the magic and fun out of Christmas (for us). It cost more because the want was a drawing tablet which I got on a good deal for £209 and my budget is usually up to £200 for my teen. Presents tend to get smaller as kids get older, so if they are getting four small presents, three of which they don't really want, then the want should be something they do actually want and would be excited about.

The rhyme is ok for young children, or if it's your first Christmas with kids or for adults/relatives, but not for the ages my kids are. I like Christmas to be full of thoughtful surprises, my kids love the things they get that they never knew existed but definitely would have asked for if they had known, its part of the excitement. If they need something, we buy it anyway rather than wait for Christmas

Budgets work for us, if you like the rhyme and it works for you that's great too, it's just not for us.

I totally see your point @psuedocream3 it's not for everyone at all.

I use it as well as a main present and so I rarely go over £20 for an item and I do put a lot of though in. Dd1s 'want' present is hair straighteners which she hasn't asked for but she keeps nicking mine which is old a knackered , Dd2 ring took ages to find etc. they would both kill me if they didn't get a book and either socks or pjs as it's family tradition.

It helps me not over spend tbh as I am a dreadful twitcher. Also since my mum has been on her own, having the same present pile as the rest of us helps her feel included I've noticed.

It would work great for my husband though, I have asked him countless times what he would like, met with a blank face. I always struggle with what to get my mum so it would be a good idea for her too, except maybe something to drink instead of wear - and she loves a good Stephen King book.

@lugeforlife That's such a lovely idea for your Mum x

I think its a twee, sad and awful poem for little kids but for adults where gifts do tend to be more practical, books more sought after and no one is passing off their obligations as presents then maybe its not so bad.

I could see if working for people gifting their parents ect...

I also dont think its wierd switching in adulthood.

In childhood most people I know get big piles of toys (assuming OPs did too hense the shift), they obviously dont as adults that would be wierd so 4 gifts as an adult seems a completely normal progression.

How?

Sorry wrong quote that was meant for Santascribe

I type it out ( with slight adaptations) and get my kids to put suggestions for each category as it gets them thinking a bit more widely than just tech stuff! It does help you end up with a range of things. I add the categories ‘something to share with the family- often a board game or popcorn maker etc) and ‘something to do on Christmas day’ - a craft or model kit, remote controlled car have been listed.

I do sort of naturally do this- this year dc11 is getting an electric blanket, several books that they want and a pair of roller boots and a specific perfume. They will get other things in their stocking also.