In laws and Christmas gifts

[Twirlyhoo]

I love buying Christmas gifts, I love thinking about what i'm going to get everyone, wrapping everything and handing the gifts over. My in laws seem to find it all too much effort and every year will say 'don't be spending anything on us' so I make sure to rein it in a bit. Without fail every year though they give us nice and thoughtful gifts so I end up feeling I should have done more!

This year MIL gave the usual spiel and said 'im telling you now, don't bother as we're only giving you money this year.' This is fine but I'm completely stumped for gift ideas?! My in laws are a little old before their time (late 50s/early 60s but to speak to them, you'd think they were much older). I'm struggling to think of their interests other than small trips out, alcohol and being in pyjamas (very specific PJ's - not too light, not too thick, no buttons etc) I guess in summary I'm asking, what is a nice gift idea that is not too extravagant for people in this age group who behave as though they're 85?...

My inlaws (now both deceased) were hard to buy for as well. My husband is their only child and they payed for higher education and everything he ever needed so we always felt in their debt of course. They were working class as their parents before them, we are rather well of. So we gave them really good gifts, like once a microwave for her birthday, a camera for his birthday. When we were out of inspiration for christmas gifts we decided on a gift voucher for a week-end at the seaside, hotel and all meals included. They liked it so much that in next years my mil told us in advance she "didn't have a wishlist because it was the weekend at the seaside she wanted again" 😊

Same here only we are the parents. My DH is notoriously difficult, he isn’t difficult really, he just buys anything he wants himself throughout the year.
Vouchers…I’m wary of these now.
Vouchers towards National Holiday trips used to be ideal for us until Covid hit and NH went out of business. We’ve got £100 in NH vouchers sitting in the cupboard that our girls bought for us for Xmas 2019, then of course Covid and lockdown happened. All NH trips were cancelled, they went out of business, couldn’t get a refund on the vouchers.
NH have started up again but won’t honour the vouchers, money wasted

I made a hamper one year for my in laws, decorated a cardboard box, filled it with Christmas goodies that they liked but never bought for themselves. It went down a treat.

Please listen to them, we have a friend who ignores requests to reign in what she spends on us, she refuses and it's embarrassing and annoying.

Unless they ask for something specific, I'd go with something consumable. Maybe an upgrade on something you know they enjoy - wine, spirits, liqueur ; cookies; crackers for cheese; chutneys; locally made jams etc

@WeirdPookah That is a genus find ! I hate biscuits so wouldn’t have thought of it. It will do for friends who’s kids are all back from Uni and fir in-laws who like to travel.
Dud you get a referral code? I will use it if you have one.

Unfortunately I can't seem to get the link, annoying as we would both get £5 off, but as my christmas box order isn't dispatched, it doesn't seem count as a completed order I think, hardly seems fair as payment has been taken.

I've dropped them an email just now to ask.

I am also a MiL, tbh we don't 'need' anything for Christmas. DH and I have told our DC / SiL not to buy us anything this Christmas. We are very aware how difficult it is for 20s / 30s/ 40s with mortgages, nursery fees and the continual cost of living rises to contend with. We would rather they used the money on themselves.

I'm another over 60 and agree that I just don't want or need anything... I hate the thought of adult DC spending money (that they need far more than DH & I do) on unnecessary gifts. We are still supporting our DS through Uni so it is pointless him effectively spending money we give him on a present for us .

I make a hamper up for mine. Some homemade stuff and some bought: jams/chutneys, sweets, smoked salmon, nice coffee, salami, olives, biscuits/crackers, meringues etc.

My mum isn’t the easiest to buy for, so this year I have sent her a selection of cheeses, biscuits and fudge from a place on Orkney that she likes.

One year I spent ages doing an embroidery for her - blackwork Dutch tiles with irises in the middle - she has always been a passionately keen iris grower. She said it was ‘very nice’ but apparently I had embroidered the little yellow pollen patches in the centre of each flower in slightly the wrong shade of yellow, and did I mind if she snipped those stitches out and redid them the right colour! My face was like this . Luckily dsis talked her out of it.

Another 60 something here, but one who goes to festivals!!
However, my favourite gifts are the photo frames my DD does each year with pictures of our children and grandchildren (and us). We now have a whole wall full and we love them.
This sort of thing
www.argos.co.uk/product/5816921?clickSR=slp:term:multi%20photo%20frames:2:123:1

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Thats beautiful! I can’t believe your mum said that. Bayliss and Harding gift set from now on…

@WeirdPookah Thanks. Let me know how you get on.

I also think you need to believe your in laws saying they don’t want anything. I have given my DD as list of two items this year (one for me and one for DH). There is nothing we need whatsoever and if we do need something we will buy it ourselves.

If you wish to disregard what has been said, buy something which will be consumed if you know they would eat/drink it, but bear in mind that their cupboards over the Christmas period are likely to be already full of treats. Alternatively get something that would be used daily but perhaps a more luxurious version. I would be happy to receive some nice hand wash or a soap, but not everyone would. A photo calendar, or a framed photo if you have younger children especially may be nice, but that is assuming wall space and that they would use a calendar.

What does your DH think? They are his parents so he knows them better than you. I would just ask him to do to.

I quite often put together my own hamper for my in laws. Wrap a box in Xmas paper and then buy all different things I know they like (but maybe won't buy for themselves) and pop in there. They love it!

@lightisnotwhite they haven't got back to me yet, but there was a company email saying the special christmas boxes are 50% gone already, so if you really want one, you might want to just get on it before it's too late unfortunately.

@WeirdPookah Ok thanks for the heads up . Will do.

My parents can buy what they like/need and we usually give them 3 nights away in the highlands with an evening at a local theatre. Due to covid we had to rethink.., both really wanted/needed new slippers. Good quality leather ones for ddad were £85 and dm's were about £50 so maybe a real luxury item like that? They are still going in about how much they love their slippers, but really looking forward to their mid Dec trip away this year (will probs take slippers with them!).