Same number of gifts or same value spent

[BonnieBairn]

Morning,

I'm just wondering what others do for their kids for Christmas gifts. Do you make sure that each child has the same number of gifts irrespective of value or do you spend the same amount of money per child and number of gifts is different?

We have 3 kids 14, 9 and 8 and I find as they get older the value of items goes up so to for example try and spend the same amount on the 14 & 8yr old means the 8yr old could end up with a mountain of
Presents and some just for the sake of spending the same amount.

Thanks!

This is my first Christmas with two children and I think I'm going to go for roughly the same number rather than value, at least while they're little. I'm not going to bend over backwards to ensure exact same numbers though. We use sacks so it's not as obvious if it's a bit uneven.

Do you make sure that each child has the same number of gifts irrespective of value or do you spend the same amount of money per child and number of gifts is different?

The above seems like spending for spending sake, to me.

I'd buy what they wanted that I could afford. 1 big present and some smaller ones.

At those ages I think approx money spent rather than number of gifts - but id be tempted to make up any shortfall in cash to be used later in the year rather than random tat they don't want or need.

Similar number/value to the child.

I see my job to provide what the children need/want at the point they need/want it. That may well be different for different children, whether it is in gifts or in extracurricular activities or in hobby supplies or in paid education.

I buy a similar number of big/small presents that will bring joy to the child opening it, and don't worry too much about the cost of each gift relative to any other.

Same number of gifts. 8 year old not interested in the value if the present. Last year siege the most on 25 year old, this year it will be 13 year old just because of the presents they're getting.

We take it in turns to open presents so try to keep the piles fairly even (and small so we're not there all day!)

We do a similar number of gifts, this is partially because DH insists gifts are opened one by one in turn and admired
, which is nice but makes it obvious if one child has 3 gifts and one child has 8 ... DD is 10 and does not really want toys now, so that may shift a little as we get some in teens and some in toys (kids are 10/8/4). We haven't worried too much about value but try to make sure they all have one thing they really want.

Neither really one main gift, some stucking stuff, a book and a game. Some main gifts are really expensive: gaming computer, vr headset, iphone, full suspension bike etc. Tend to buy them stuff at a similar age so Eldest got a gaming PC when he was 8, phone when he was 10 then so did/ will the other dc (I have four).

It all evens out in the end.

One large gift each of their choice from us and a stocking full of goodies from Santa as kids, now a gift of perfume or wine from us, no stocking. Not doing any gifts this year just treating everyone to a pre Christmas lunch somewhere nice.

I match value as DS usually gets smaller more expensive things and dd goes for volume!

My experience is same number of gifts. My son has always had expensive tastes, his sister would be happy with a wrapped rock! Now late teens it's different but I'd say before they are teens it's amount, not value.

Price match stockings and match type of gift so that is their both the same then also price match bigger gifts and yes one might get fewer gifts but if they have asked for something expensive then they have to understand the consequences. When younger tried to match things too so clothes, game, colouring, dress up etc

My in-laws are like this. This year one DD will get 1 present, another 2 and the 3rd 3 gifts from them, because they insist on spending the same amount. Obviously I’m grateful they care enough, my family don’t, but I’d much rather they just put cash in a card if they insist on the same value then the kids can buy what they want rather than me trying to think of something for them to get for the sake of it.

I definitely understand having equal value when the DCs are older and understand that gifts come from us and are wanting big ticket items or cash.

Its not at all extreme.

I would say you yourself demonstraited the point of massive inequality in budgeting the split perfectly - litrally you posted that you are doing exactly what I posted people do.

2 of your kids getting a big expensive gadgets and 1 getting a cheap non gadget, litrally EXACTLY the same as what I said.

You have a budget of £979... DC 1 is getting 46%, DC2 is getting 46% and DC 3 is getting 8% and your trying to justify that as 'not extreme' but claiming my example being ridiculous and doesnt happen lol.

If you cant see inequality and unfairness in that split I weep for the state of the world, its like the Tories of xmas presents lol.

I buy what they want that's affordable. DD (15) wants very little and what she does want is fairly inexpensive and small. I put money in her savings instead or take her out to the theatre or an exhibition which she much prefers. DS (11) likes big Lego sets which are quite expensive. Both are happy with their choices. Different pile sizes, different value. Both happy.

Nowt Tory about it.

@mam0918 , so what should the other poster do , insist that her younger child who wants a basketball net have an x box so that she can be seen to be fair . You are being ridiculous , the point is in most families the children will be happy that they have got what they wanted for Christmas , just because it is what they wanted , they won’t be sitting on Christmas morning with a calculator adding up the cost of everyone’s presents .

So the 3rd child should have an expensive console just to make things fair? Or have another £300+ worth of stuff he doesn't want or need just to make it even. When you overload a child with masses of stuff they don't want or need it takes away the specialness of that one thing they really want. I've found that out the hard way, once that special gift is opened everything else is a chore to open and not really appreciated as they didn't ask for or want anything else.

I'm sure eventually DC 3 will have their own console and when they do the older 2 will get less as they already have one so no need for another.

I spend considerably more on clothes for DD1, just spent around £200 as shes had a growth spurt plus in the summer she had new swimwear, school shoes, uniform and trainers. Due to hand me downs and free cycle I've only spent around £20 this year in total on DD2 (new school trainers, socks, pants and a pair of fleecy pjs. Ive had everything handed down inc school shoes and uniform) should I go out and spend more as I've used more of my clothes budget on dd1? Both are happy and clothed and I've got more in the budget for other things. My girls are 14 and 10 so not little ones either.

I've spent more than double on DS1 (aged 3) than DS3 (will be 4 months). Nobody need "weep" as baby has roughly the same sort of budget and presents as his brother had at his first Christmas, possibly a bit more now I think about it as I don't want DS too put out that his baby has had hardly anything from Santa.
A few nice keepsakes and stocking fillers is fine, I certainly won't be rushing out to drop another £100 just because DS1 is now old enough for more impressive toys.

We've got DSS 12, DSD 10 and DD3.
DD probably has the bigger pile but the least spent on her as her toys are more bulky. We explained to the older 2 that their presents are more expensive but smaller so they understand.
I try to balance both expense and amount for the older 2 but if they want something specific that is more expensive, we tell that it'll mean they may have a smaller amount of presents than the other 1.

Both - more or less.

Absolutely. I have 3 DDs, 2 very close in age, when they were little everything had to be the same or they would fight/get upset, so for a long time we’d just get 2 of everything, so much quieter as they were happy they both got to play with the same thing. As they have gotten older they now have different tastes, although quite similar they do want different things.

The advantage of having so many duplicates with the older 2 was I got to put a lot of stuff away for DD3 who has had lots of hand me downs in both the toy and clothes department. And because I’d buy matching for the older 2, she will have the exact same “favourite” dress for years because I have it in multiple sizes.

i am more than happy to buy the different things for the older 2, and even the youngest if it’s something she really wants, but there is absolutely no way I’m going to go out buying more stuff just so she has the same amount of money spent on her when I have a bloody shit load of stuff stashed away in the attic.

I try and go with numbers. 6 year gap between my kids.

But I think some of it depends on your age range and stages of your kids.

The poster with the xboxs and basketball stand, I'm sure her older kids didn't get £450 spent on them when they were 5yo. Although I'd be tempted to keep them same but different and get the 5 yo a Nintendo switch but there again that could be next years idea and they probably have hand me down consoles already.

My parents always did equal budgets, and as we got older we knew what the budget was.

if we didn’t want gifts up to the whole of the budget, we’d receive cash in an envelope. I thought this was fair and encouraged us to understand the price of the kind of things we were asking for.

Our budget was smaller when the kids were little. £30 goes a long way on a toddler and buys a BIG box. We increased what we were willing to spend as they got older.

I try and get everyone what they are looking for (managing expectations a bit) but if one dc’s idea of the “big” gift is an OG doll and the others is an iPod, I wouldn’t see much wrong with that.

I tend to go with same number of gifts. In the above example I might add in OG accessories for one, and pound shop touchscreen gloves for the other.

As a child I remember a particularly skint Christmas where my still believing little brother got a gift he had talked about non stop for months that cost over £100 and I got a board game that was about £10. I didn’t have an issue with the discrepancy because I would have hated to see him disappointed and my dad had recently lost his job. But I’m sure I’d have felt differently if it was my (less liked) older brother that had got something stupidly expensive that I was effectively subsidising.