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Christmas

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Original poster

Adjusting to Adult Christmas

36 replies

WhyOhWine · 27/10/2022 14:40

DC are 18 and 19 (and at uni). No young children in the wider family. I feel like this year we need to mix it up a bit because so far since the DC have been older we have just continued our usual traditions and it has started to feel a bit flat and a bit more like a normal lazy Sunday with a few guests for a roast lunch rather than a special occasion (admittedly covid impacted the last 2 years).
Any suggestions on adjusting to an adult only Christmas that still feels special?
Not sure how many wider family members we will have this year as plans are still being finalised but could be anywhere between just the 4 of us and 10 (all adults between 18 and 80).
For some reason I dont particularly fancy going out of our Christmas day meal, but potentially might book somewhere nice for Christmas Eve dinner. My mum (who we wont be seeing this year) suggested we could go on holiday. I am open to this for future, but i think this year because it is the first year DC have both been at uni, they will probably prefer to have Christmas itself at home.

So any suggestions for a special grown up Christmas day?

OP posts:
Dogsgottabone · 27/10/2022 14:52

I'd have loved to go on holiday at that age instead of staying in the house.

We would love to do it now but our younger teens refuse to and we have to have my parents.

Looking forward to the year me and DH can go to the Caribbean with no other xmas commitments on our own!

Merrow · 27/10/2022 15:03

I think it depends on your children a bit. I really liked all the traditions we had as children and think I would have found it hard to come home from uni (where I was quite homesick) to find things were all change there too. Actually, now I think about it my first Christmas as an actual adult my parents did try to get away with not having a Christmas tree, which resulted in a last minute Christmas Eve trip to a shop where we picked up one fully decorated from the shop floor at a discount as they were getting ready for the boxing Day sales!

One thing that was introduced was champagne in the morning, which made the day feel special and a bit different.

Daisychainsx · 27/10/2022 15:13

Why don't you plan something exciting for boxing day? Make that their present? That way you can have the lazy Christmas that everyone is used to, but with the excitement of a day out or trip away shortly after?

Or as pp has said, have a big day out on Christmas eve and then you'll be grateful for the relaxing day on the 25th?

We love a good games night on Christmas day, I make a quiz, prepare a bunch of adult apropriate games, we all chip in £10 and I go buy daft prizes (some of them are actually really good and the games get quite competitive!), and from about 8pm-10:30pm it's games and prizes! We do it every year now and it's the highlight of the day!

QuietOne80 · 27/10/2022 15:23

Good presents, crank the Christmas music up and pop open the Champagne around 11am-12pm.

Oblomov22 · 27/10/2022 15:27

Our favourite is Christmas Eve, christingle at 4pm, then a pub or restaurant till say 7pm, walk home and relax. My favourite bit. Asked Uni ds1 if he still wanted to go and he was most definitely!

NoDairyNoProblem · 27/10/2022 15:44

We still have 1 tween at home, however we definitely adapted our traditions as the DC got older and now two are adults the younger o r just joins in too.

Christmas Eve early dinner and a few glasses of wine with friends plus anyone staying at ours in the local pub/restaurant. We walk home a bit squiffy by 7pm for a movie and new pyjamas.

Christmas Day we do some things the same but we go a walk later.

alloalloallo · 27/10/2022 16:00

We mixed it up last year.

We had Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve - we decorated the dining room with candles and greenery and lights so it was all pretty and twinkly. We got dressed up, had cocktails, etc.

Christmas morning we met up with some friends, walked our dogs on the beach. They have a camper van so we made bacon sandwiches and had Buck’s Fizz.

Back home we opened presents and then had a left overs/picky late lunch around 3 ish

Both our girls wanted to meet up with their boyfriends in the evening so DH and I went to the pub with the dog - our local opens Christmas Day evening instead of lunch time.

It was lovely actually, nice and chill

We’ve got the in-laws over this year, they want to do everything we usually do, and the kids really enjoyed it last year so we’re doing the same again this year.

Myjobisanightmare · 27/10/2022 16:14

We absolutely hate Christmas for that reason we have no extended family so it really does feel like what’s the point

we have to be away and even sucking Xmas up and going away 27-30th won’t do it as Christmas Day is so shit, has to be over Xmas whether it be abroad or this year in a near the beach cottage with the dog fully catered by a local pub

BonnesVacances · 27/10/2022 16:18

alloalloallo · 27/10/2022 16:00

We mixed it up last year.

We had Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve - we decorated the dining room with candles and greenery and lights so it was all pretty and twinkly. We got dressed up, had cocktails, etc.

Christmas morning we met up with some friends, walked our dogs on the beach. They have a camper van so we made bacon sandwiches and had Buck’s Fizz.

Back home we opened presents and then had a left overs/picky late lunch around 3 ish

Both our girls wanted to meet up with their boyfriends in the evening so DH and I went to the pub with the dog - our local opens Christmas Day evening instead of lunch time.

It was lovely actually, nice and chill

We’ve got the in-laws over this year, they want to do everything we usually do, and the kids really enjoyed it last year so we’re doing the same again this year.

That sounds lovely! Especially the campervan and bacon sandwiches on the beach on Christmas Day.

MissyB1 · 27/10/2022 16:19

I have 2 adult D.C. and 14 year old. We go out on Christmas Eve for either lunch or dinner. Christmas Day is a late breakfast/ brunch with pancakes /croissants / bacon rolls etc… then present opening, then chilling with some drinks and looking at presents. Then in the afternoon it’s a film and nibbles. The big meal is in the evening and often a bbq! There’s champagne and cocktails. After dinner it’s Pictionary (our tradition). Then slump in front of TV.

Next year though we are thinking of going abroad.

ChiaraRimini · 27/10/2022 17:30

My older ones will be 23 and 20 this year and there will be hell to pay if they don't get the xmas eve box from the elves with new PJs etc! It's their favourite bit of Xmas never mind any "grown up" stuff.

ThreeRingCircus · 27/10/2022 18:34

Games and drinks!

After leaving home and before I had DDs I always was home with my parents for Christmas and loved the familiarity of the traditions.. presents in the morning, Christmas dinner, a country walk, a snooze in front of the TV. But then after I was 18 we started making cocktails in the evening....we each took a turn to make one and everyone tried them and decided which was nicest and then we'd play games and have such a laugh. Articulate is a good, easy one or any other simple board game or silly game. I definitely want to replicate games night with my DDs when they're a bit older.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/10/2022 18:47

ChiaraRimini · 27/10/2022 17:30

My older ones will be 23 and 20 this year and there will be hell to pay if they don't get the xmas eve box from the elves with new PJs etc! It's their favourite bit of Xmas never mind any "grown up" stuff.

Same age as my DS and DD
We do the Christmas Eve Hamper on Dec 1st and I really enjoy the planning and buying everything .

There would be a riot chez 70 if we didn't have this Xmas Grin

And my DS sectretly loves his cosy Christmas Bedding but would never admit it !

bravotango · 27/10/2022 18:54

When my youngest sibling went to university we started doing it this way: out for dumplings and drinks Christmas Eve, pub until midnight mass, then Christmas morning (well, sort of late morning/midday) everyone brought a cocktail to make at home. Lazy afternoon of gifts and a boardgame with a lateish Christmas lunch about 4pm. Sounds like a lot of booze now it's written down but it's more or less stuck since then!

toomuchlaundry · 27/10/2022 19:02

DS17 will probably be working on Christmas Day (part-time job in hospitality). He did the same last year. As he is not driving yet we also have to be taxi and so makes for a very different Christmas Day especially as he is the only ‘child’ in the family

lightlypoachedeyeballs · 27/10/2022 19:17

We sometimes host Christmas morning drinks at ours. With a definite end time so we can kick people out.

It's really lovely , sociable and our adult kids can invite their mates (and families too).

If you make it bring a bottle it's not expensive either

SaintVitasShagulaitas · 27/10/2022 19:32

Put your kids in charge and let them organise Christmas this year?

HeyMicky · 27/10/2022 20:33

Definitely midnight mass, whatever you do beforehand on Xmas eve. Means a bigger sleep in on the 25th so you start everything later, plus it's very jolly.

Get outside somehow after (a late) breakfast on Xmas day

Agree with board games too, especially if everyone is well oiled

40andfit · 28/10/2022 09:46

I would start by asking the other family members.

BinBandit · 28/10/2022 15:32

We do pressies etc as normal mid morning (when everyone gets up). Our pub opens for a few hours so we get dressed and head there for a couple of drinks and DH and I head back to finish off the dinner prep and our DC usually have another drink and then come back. We do dinner and then play a board game and watch a movie. It's just nice to spend time together catching up properly with Uni boy and the rest of us not working and no-one feeling obliged to do stuff around the house etc.

It's relaxed and quiet but suits us. btw it's a nice pub, log fire etc.

changer121 · 28/10/2022 15:46

We have dd's 25,23 and 17 this Christmas.

We have a lie in and get up at an agreed time - usually 10.30 or so then get coffee and open stockings together in the living room.
We have Buck's Fizz and croissant/ salmon bagels and chill together / open other presents until having a later lunch around 3 pm .
Then games and FaceTime family until evening when we have a giant cheese board and port etc.
We all love our day together.

I8toys · 29/10/2022 16:15

We tend to have a meal out christmas eve with grandparents, christmas day on our own - chilled, have a lie in and plays games all afternoon, boxing day last year we went on a pub crawl/walk around town that they seemed to enjoy. Play cards, dominoes etc. Maybe set up a raclette if not already fed up with food.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 29/10/2022 16:55

I cant wait for the christmas when DH and I can swan off to somewhere tropical together.

As a young adult our Christmas's were so boring. Mum and Dad were usually fighting, or mum was giving Dad the silent treatment as he got her the wrong gift. Or we were at Nans and she was going 100mph fussing around us all, not relaxing and putting everyone on edge.

The last one I had there, DH was working (emergency services) and it was just me and Mum. That was better, we ate and watched TV. I was pregnant so didnt drink and drove myself home at 5PM to collapse and nap in front of the TV in peace. I quite enjoyed it 😄

I wonder what my future chrustmas's will look like with adult children?? Not to rush time away, but I do imagine it.

mam0918 · 29/10/2022 18:28

Honestly the biggest part of our xmas is the unwrapping of gifts, I didnt grow up with wrapped gifts but started doing it for my kids and they LOVE it so if my kids where still coming to visit us as adults I would do gifts and maybe some games with wrapped prizes etc... plus xmas dinner

If my kids had settled with their own families and where no longer coming home for xmas I think we would go away on holiday to distract ourselves from it.

mam0918 · 29/10/2022 18:33

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 29/10/2022 16:55

I cant wait for the christmas when DH and I can swan off to somewhere tropical together.

As a young adult our Christmas's were so boring. Mum and Dad were usually fighting, or mum was giving Dad the silent treatment as he got her the wrong gift. Or we were at Nans and she was going 100mph fussing around us all, not relaxing and putting everyone on edge.

The last one I had there, DH was working (emergency services) and it was just me and Mum. That was better, we ate and watched TV. I was pregnant so didnt drink and drove myself home at 5PM to collapse and nap in front of the TV in peace. I quite enjoyed it 😄

I wonder what my future chrustmas's will look like with adult children?? Not to rush time away, but I do imagine it.

I hated young adult xmas too.

My mam deemed me too old for xmas at about 13 and until 20 when I had my own house, DH and DC xmas utterly sucked.

Like you said you could cut the tention with a knife, we just sat around in silence, bored (someone usually open mouth sleeping on the couch), passive agressive grunts everytime someone moved and waiting for someone to finally snap and the fighting to start (where I would inevitable get yelled at for no reason like I 'did nothing to help' if I stayed out of the way or 'your constantly in the way' if I tried to help someone and would end up crying alone).

I never want to go back to that.