Gentle ways to kill the elf

[Blankiefan]

9yo DD is on the cusp of not believing anymore. She's quite a young 9yo - still plays a lot with teddies, for example. We're happy for her not to believe whenever shes ready. But as long as she chooses to play along, we're happy to play too.

But the elf needs to go. Its a pain in the bum and we should never have started it. We've suggested a couple if times that Elfie might not visit this year as she's too old. DD isn't playing ball!

Any tips for binning this one that keeps the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" philosophy alive?

Ok so I’m not ready to give up the elf. I have a cuddly soft toy elf not the standard elf on the shelf elf.
I am 47 years old and Christmas reduces me to a complete child!! My children are 20 and almost 16.
Each year my elf arrives with the advent calendars and then spends the rest of advent finding silly places to hide - in ds’s car, in their underwear drawers, under their duvet - it’s very silly and lighthearted fun which they also join in with it and so the elf also gets hidden by them for me to find!
Op could you do similar? There’s lots of very easy hiding places that elf can hide in and it doesn’t take too much effort or thinking about!

Like everyone else at the moment, the elf has gone on strike.

We had a cat so we 'couldn't' have an elf visit. Unfortunately.

So maybe rescue a cat?

This! Brilliant 😂

Write her a letter from the elf saying he’s been watching her for so long he knows she can be trusted to be good without being checked up on, and so he’s been reassigned to a naughty kid in Lowestoft or somewhere. You can end it without breaking the illusion.

Mine had to quarantine at the North Pole last year due to Covid restrictions to be sure he was able to travel on Christmas Eve helping Santa.

We have a pottery elf ornament, so his actions have always been limited to just moving location.

Much like the blasted tooth fairy, our parental incompetence has gently eased in the idea that maybe, just maybe, there is no guaranteed magic element … if you forget to move the bugger/put the coin under the pillow enough times, a resigned and knowing acceptance that it’s just a fun game does rather inevitably creep in…

So be a more shit parent is what I’m encouraging you to do!

Take a selfie and send to DDs phone or iPad of elf with a cocktail and sunglasses on (for added giggles also doing some of elfie prank) Add text "greetings from my new home in the Caribbean, not coming back"

When I wanted to get rid of mine I left a photo on DDs phone of the elves gagged and tied up and being shoved in an envelope with the address "far far away never to return" lol, she got the message

There’s a Tim Burton film in there somewhere.

First day Elf arrives with a letter

‘Dear (child’s name)

This year we elves are so busy
Making all of the toys
That we just don’t have the time

To stay with all the girls and boys

So I’ll be popping in
But Santa says I can’t stay
I must help make sure the present

All all ready for Christmas Day

I’ll call by when you are sleeping
Just to check you are okay

But I won’t have the time

To stick around and play

You have made the nice list
Again this year

And as long as you keep being good
And spreading Christmas cheer

Every time I come to visit

Your family

I’ll make sure to leave a little note

Beneath the Christmas tree

Signed Elf

Then Elf goes back to the North Pole to never be seen again

But every time DD does something particularly good
Leave a wee verse under the tree.
Once a week or something

‘I stopped by tonight
To check you’re doing great
And saw you ate all the vegetable on your dinner plate’

‘Santa heard you worked hard in school this week
And sent me here to say
He wishes his elves worked as hard as you

Right up to Christmas day’

You get the idea, if you need verse ideas feel free to drop me a pm

The elf comes to check on the child’s behaviour for Santa. If your DD’s behaviour is fine, he doesn’t need to stay or can just sit and watch…

No advice op, but my dd asked for an elf and this has stiffened my resolve against it, so thank you!

When they mention the elf, just vaguely whisper about 'the steamroller tragedy', whimper softly "That poor little guy just didn't stand a chance", "One of Santa's most faithful", "so much left to live for" etc. and then burst into exaggerated tears, getting louder and snottier the more your DC questions you, until they just give up, as they can see you're thoroughly inconsolable.

That's the simple solution - no need for any big drama.

I don't have kids but I really don't get the Elf nonsense at all.

Is the self supposed to report back to Santa if the kids aren't being good. Yet the little twat, spills cornflakes and throws toilet paper everywhere and is generally a naughty brat.

I don't get it at all.

Tell her the elf can’t visit because he’s running for prime minister.

I don't think that's would be convincing, if the elf does become Prime Minister (and we've had a few of those recently) it is quite likely that he will resign and be back on the shelf, so to speak, within just a couple of weeks.

I don't think that's would be convincing, if the elf does become Prime Minister (and we've had a few of those recently) it is quite likely that he will resign and be back on the shelf, so to speak, within just a couple of weeks.

Plus, he would be insisting that the rules mean your DC MUST be a good boy or girl; but then using any old excuse for being a hypocritical rule-breaking rotter himself whenever it suits him.

Maybe make a little podium and get the elf to stand behind it, telling everybody how his vision for delivering Christmas was fully assured and 100% on track, and he was wholeheartedly looking forward to spearheading Christmas growth for boys and girls everywhere; but because of other people's negativity, obstinacy, lack of support and deliberate refusal to acknowledge the bigger picture, he sees no alternative but to resign.

Honestly, at this age I'd keep the elf. Just take it back to what it was originally meant to be and don't do all the 'naughty' stuff. The story behind the original EOTS was that they just fly back to the North Pole every evening and sometimes land in a different spot when they come back, they never played tricks. That's easy enough to do. If your elf is usually naughty then he's seen the error of his ways and going to do his job properly!

Letter saying there's covid at the North Pole so he's gone back to help. He knows DD is a good girl so he's confident she won't need watching as her friends might.

I hate the elf. My daughter is also 9. I will have to do it again this year. If you plan out 24 scenarios in advance it's not as bad as desperately thinking of something the night before or worse in the morning.
Go on you can do it - one more year won't hurt :)

Don't know if this would work - but would posting her elf to somebody work? Maybe a distant friend on Facebook that has just had a baby or something.

Our elf retired last year. Instead of leaving on Christmas eve, he had a note which said he had reached elf retirement age, and had chosen to stay at our house, but without his magic. My son was very happy as he was always sad when the elf had to go. I am feeling rather smug that I dont have to do anything with him this year 😁

In fairness, that does sum up the naughty elf quite well. I've always wondered why someone who represents Santa is quite so badly behaved...

Our elf just comes for the 12 days before christmas, its a busy time at the North Pole. And his antics are pretty low key. Dd2 is 10 this year and I'm fairly sure doesn't believe the elf moves around so it's just a bit of fun playing tricks at christmas, he will be here to stay for a long time as I enjoy the silliness too!