Is it rude not to buy people Christmas presents?

[Amiagrinchh]

Hello I am sorry this is early!

I am 30 now but in my teens me and my friend group decided not to buy friends Christmas presents as to save (much needed) money at the time and not end up with things we didn't really want (i.e. essentially wasting the money of others). We just bought for close family.

We are not really friends anymore but this tradition has persisted and it seems new friends have been similar although it's been an unsaid thing. Very happy with this approach for the reasons stated above.

Last year my parents in law got me presents and I felt a bit bad as I had not got them anything. We get on but aren't super close which is why I didn't lump them in with 'family gifts'. I got presents for the kids, partner, mum and dad, auntie, grandma.

Is this rude not to buy presents from them / not explain?

Should I explain myself this year and say I don't tend to buy many gifts and please don't feel you have to get me anything?

I am just quite against spending money on tat no one really wants and receiving tat I don't want which is why I have stuck to this over the years.

Interested in opinions!

Last year my parents in law got me presents and I felt a bit bad as I had not got them anything. We get on but aren't super close which is why I didn't lump them in with 'family gifts'. I got presents for the kids, partner, mum and dad, auntie, grandma.
Your DP will buy for his family and put your name, with his, on the label. ie it’s from both of you. You don’t need to get them a present separately just from you.

Likewise your presents to your family are from
both of you.

Just stick your name on his presents to the ILs and add his to your presents to your family. Don't buy a separate present!

We don’t buy for anyone but DD (a handful
of token gifts, literally) and one secret Santa gift for the adults in my family.

Haven’t done for over 15 years. The lack of stress is blissful.

My inlaws ridiculous presents expectations at Christmas are the main reason I don’t enjoy Christmas anymore. I try every year to say we can’t afford presents, let’s just both not gift each other presents and focus on food and family, but they get upset.

Thankfully this year we are having Christmas at our own home just us (which is going to cause ww3 when they find out) and I’m hoping this will be the perfect reason to end the ridiculous present buying.

My husband chooses the presents for his family and adds my name to the gift tag - and vice versa. We don't buy separate presents and they wouldn't expect us to either. I don't think you should worry about it.

Do yourself a favour and let him look after his own family. It’s a HUGE sore point for me and DH. Since I threw the ball back in his court he hasn’t managed to achieve this once. (I have ordered gift vouchers last minute and awesome SIL knows the deal.)

Why are you buying for your in laws? That's his job if I'm not mistaken? Why do some women take on everything?

Yes surely you just buy a gift (or your partner does rather) and you say it's from the both of you? You don't need to get them a separate gift from you! My pils always get 'me' a gift for the kitchen 🤦🏼‍♀️

Just let people know you aren't doing presents in general

And yes your IL are not your problem

Don’t you give gifts as a couple? Something from both of you to them, something from both of them to you?

DP is responsible for getting the presents for his side, I choose the ones for mine.

Oh don't worry I most definitely do not! I sort out my own parent's gifts and leave him to sort out his (or not)

Thank you everyone for your kind responses. It didn't occur to me his parents may see gifts that he has arranged as gifts from both of us and vice versa with my parents - doh!

I am aware my question is probably abit dense tbh. Me and DP have been together a few years but it is my first very very serious adult relationship, living together, want to be together for life jazz, so never done the whole 'getting gifts together' thing before and because I was independent for so many years I was wary of it in case I got lumped with present sorting for everyone which I definitely do not want!

But me sorting my family and he his and then just signing the other's name makes sense to me :)

I stopped doing gifts for close family and friends ages ago but told people in August of that year. Surely now is pretty late?