How do you delegate?

[Blablabla1984]

We are hosting Christmas this year and we'll be 10 people Christmas eve to Boxing day. Obviously that's a lot of cooking and lots of people have told me I need to delegate and ask people to bring food...... which I am terrible at!! I just say no need to bring anything but then hate having to do breakfast, lunch and dinner for 10 people for 3 days :-D

How and what meals do you usually ask for people to bring? I'd love to enjoy Christmas just as anyone else and not be stuck in the kitchen the whole time.

Do you want to delegate spreading the cost or the work involved?

I think a lot depends on the type of guests you have too.

Personally if I’m hosting I’d provide food but would expect guests to bring drinks of some sorts, but that’s what people I know would automatically do. Also I’d assume guests would just automatically help out with cleaning, offering to help with cooking etc.. My automatic response is “it’s ok I will do it” but I actively stop myself and give out jobs, setting table up, peeling spuds, clearing dishes away, emptying bins. Just ask people in a nice way if they mind just doing something that will make things easier for you to get onto things. If you have someone who likes cooking, my DF was like this I’d say do you fancy doing breakfast tomorrow, though he wouldn’t have needed asking he would automatically have done it and cleaned up after.

If you have guests who don’t automatically help, definitely ask them to do things.

Definitely would like to delegate the work so I am not stuck doing everything :) Thank you, good tips, I have to stop thinking I can/should do everything!!!

I think the main thing that jumps out is you say “we” are hosting. So I assume you have a spouse or partner?

ensure that he (?) is doing 50% of the hosting for a start. And that includes the concept, planning, menus, shopping as well as the cooking, prep and washing up. I see so many women take all this on and the men just say “tell me what to do and I’ll do it” like they’re a helpless kitten. Or they just serve the drinks and think they’ve contributed. So start by asking him “what meals shall we do” and go from there. Then you can decide which bits to ask guests to bring.

or if it’s his family not yours even better. Tell him to deal directly with them

I'd probably approach this in a twofold way. If possible, I'd try and pre-prepare some stuff when I can, and secondly, I take up all offers of help. However, I do find it easier delegating to my family than I do to DH's family, when (stupidly) I feel like I have to prove I can do it all...

So, if someone offers to bring pudding, I'd accept (even if I was also providing a separate pudding - choice is a good thing, right?). Perhaps farm out a cheese plate to someone to bring. Could someone bring a ham for Xmas Eve or something? Boxing Day is only leftovers. Xmas Day morning I'd expect DH to be on task with me (his speciality is poached eggs, so I can let him get on with that, someone else can make up the muffins, and cut up fruit). Ask others to set the table, sort drinks.

Tell everyone to being own booze.

Christmas eve - takeaway everyone chips in money

Christmas day - lots of Sausages and Rolls. Anyone who doesnt fancy Sausages can have cornflakes 😁.

Christmas dinner - Buy easy food such as m&s turkey crown. M&s desserts. Preprepped veg.

Christmas night - doritos, Pringles, ritz cheese crackers (A dip if you want to make it look like you made an effort 🤣) and chocolate

Boxing day - Bacon and sliced white bread sandwiches (or cornflakes)

Kick them out before lunch 🤣

Dont invite any vegetarians, vegans or allergy sufferers

I'd write out a menu plan for the whole thing and work out
A) what you could get people to bring with them - could someone make a big fish pie for Christmas Eve that you just put in oven for instance? Can someone else sort out mince pies/ Christmas cake?
B) what prep you can give out as jobs to make life easier for you eg if you provide bacon, bread, frozen croissants etc can you nominate someone else to be in charge of cooking and serving them for breakfast one day? Can someone just be responsible for making hot drinks every couple of hours on repeat for everyone? Can a couple of people peel and prep all the veg? Etc etc etc.

I think the key is to work out what can be delegated first, and then be very clear who you are delegating what to! And people like to feel helpful and hate to feel in the way so I'm sure the guests will like it too

We have 10 /11 at Christmas.. Adults take turns on coffee duties... All prep the veg on Xmas eve. Teen dd's write up a fancy breakfast menu and people pre order so I know what the fluff I am doing!!

Generally it’s always the same people give or take one over the years, we always have it at home, but there are 8 of us. Me and my mum do a majority of it. I do the gammon and prep usually Christmas Eve, and some of the cooking Christmas Day. We very rarely spend that much money because over the year we save up points on nectar, and co-op so will just use that to pay for what we need. My mums getting a bonus from work aswell so she usually uses that as it goes on her membership card.

We have 7 on Christmas Eve and looking like 15 on Christmas Day and 9 on Boxing Day this year. We host but DP’s buy turkey and other meat. DSis/Dbro and I make a dessert each, DH and I are in charge of trimmings and everyone brings a bottle or two. DH and I arrange a big snack shop a few days before etc.

Christmas Eve I set the table and DH preps the veg. We eat out with our guests and friends. Supper is cheeseboard, treats and a glass of something. Anyone staying over gets Christmas Eve pyjamas and a stocking on Christmas morning.

Christmas morning (11.30ish) is bacon sandwiches and tea/coffee plus optional stocking chocolate. Trays of bacon in the oven, large sourdough loaf and minimal mess.

DH and I both cook, don’t eat until 5pm and all the boys do the dishes (family tradition) whilst I frantically clear up the dining room and others snooze/play/watch tv.

Evening is Cheese, crackers, fruit, Christmas cake, mince pies etc.

Boxing Day long lies, coffee and pastries (Dobbies pop in the oven), a good walk then home for leftovers toasties and then packed on their way by 3pm 🤣.

You are such a generous host <3