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Christmas

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Original poster

Only child at Christmas

51 replies

xmasstuffing · 02/10/2022 08:56

I have a 5yr old son, he's an only child. We have a very small family and he has no cousins. Just elderly grandparents.

I really felt sad last Christmas that he had no one to play with the whole holidays.
Of course we played with him, but it's him wanting that companion to play with when we're cooking Christmas dinner etc.
He wants other kids to play with not just grownups.

Friends are all busy with their own families over Christmas.

I'm already thinking about how it'll be a long 2 weeks for him over the Christmas holidays with no kids to play with.

If you have an only child and no cousins/family kids around how do you make Christmas feel more fun?

I feel like at this age Christmas is all for the kids and it seems lonely for him with no other kids to share it with.

I know I can't magic some children for him to play with but what do your only child families do over Christmas? SmileStar

OP posts:
melchim · 02/10/2022 09:46

Are you sure he finds it boring or do you just assume he does? He may have lovely memories of his quiet Christmases when he grows up.

That aside, I would put effort into creating traditions. Invite a couple of his friends on an afternoon to watch a Christmas film with popcorn and hot chocolate. Have a gingerbread decorating party with a Christmas story reading or making gingerbread houses with parents. If you invite ten kids then even if only two can come, that's a lovely time.

Look out for local Christmas events that you can start doing each year like children's carol services or shop window displays. Special Christmas afternoon tea with grandma. Once you do them every year, all those things start to feel like part of the excitement and anticipation of the season and he'll look forward to them.

LadyDespair · 02/10/2022 09:47

PanettoneMoly · 02/10/2022 09:21

A baby is for life, not just for Christmas, Birdie.

Show quote history

Grin My thoughts exactly.

I have an only who is very happy to be the centre of attention on Christmas Day (and other times) It doesn’t scar them. Now as a teenager we find friends are very keen to escape their own families, to hang out at ours or in town…

PriamFarrl · 02/10/2022 09:48

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  1. fuck off with such an insensitive comment.
  2. not in time for Christmas.
MumofSpud · 02/10/2022 09:49

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A sibling is not just for Christmas Grin

kikisparks · 02/10/2022 09:50

Sorry to read this, not there yet as DD is only 11 months but no plans to conceive and bear a human child to offer as a gift to her as PP suggested (gross!).

Anyway, dependent on money could you get out and do things over the holidays? Pantomime, walk around to see Christmas lights in local houses, cinema if he’s not too young for it? bowling, park, mini golf, kid friendly place for a meal, go for hot chocolate, ice skating, visit to a toy shop to spend any Christmas money, a drive out to somewhere scenic and bring a ball/ kite/ other outdoor toy? See what’s on if there are any planned activities in your area?

Then on days in could you do activities with him, maybe his gifts could include something to keep him busy playing by himself (for when you’re cooking dinner) and things to play with together like Lego, trainset, scalextric, multiplayer video game, board games, craft set, science kit, jigsaw etc. Could you also do things like build a den, living room picnic, movie night, kitchen disco, make “elf yourself” videos, make him a dressing up box with old clothes etc, read books together, bake?

ThatThingOverThere · 02/10/2022 09:52

I was that child. My kid is also that child. I wasn’t sad, we saw family friends and their kids in between Christmas and often had a party on New Years. Quite nice to be able to play with my toys by myself for a bit.

my child is only 3 but we always have fun Christmas Day. Movies, dancing in the kitchen. I don’t think she feels sad. I just make an effort to have a little Christmas party with her friends beforehand or in between. When she’s a bit older, we’ll probably do what my parents did and have a party with friends and their kids and new year.

goldenbag · 02/10/2022 10:02

I'm an only child and this literally never crossed my mind. I loved Christmas. Don't really remember seeing other kids once school ended.

averythinline · 02/10/2022 10:09

We do a calendar of stuff thru dec.some free some school events some thing'slike local panto, kris kindl Church service , Christmas books
..and then 25/26 is just chill or go see a show or something...if your in London the national theatre usually do a fab Christmas play we often do that the week between xmas and new year ...at that age something active as a present and go to the park....on Christmas day...its always busy with kids trying their new scooter /bikes/skates..

We have next to no family ..but dc love Xmas rituals and our traditions

MotorwayDiva · 02/10/2022 10:21

DD in the same situation, but we made friends with parents of other onlys. Also be open to playdates where they can bring younger sibling. In the run up we do things every day, so Christmas eve onwards is chill time, I pre prep so not much to do and can spend with her. DH has worked past few Xmas days so been fairly low key overall.

C8H10N4O2 · 02/10/2022 10:36

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In time for Christmas?

🙄

Abraxan · 02/10/2022 10:44

Dd is an only child. She's now 20y so been through several Christmas times with her over the years.

Until she was about 11 or 12 we spend most Christmas Days just the 3 of us, through choice. She loved the quieter day, enjoying her toys and games, very relaxed and cosy.

We did all the family stuff in the days before and after, especially Christmas Eve and Boxing Day.

In the days between school ending and Christmas itself we often would host a play date or two. Lots of friends were more than happy for me to watch their child for the day whilst they worked or prepped for Christmas. I teach so was often off longer than friends who didn't work in schools. Or we'd meet with friends with children for Christmassy days out.

After Christmas before they went back we either did family days or again might host a play date or have a day out with friends with children.

As dd got older we started meeting close friends with children a similar age who dd was very much friends with too, just for an hour or so late morning/early afternoon, before the main meal on Christmas Day. For nibbles, to swap gifts and catch up. This eventually led to us going out all together for a Christmas Day meal, which we still do.

Fortunately we didn't need to 'give her a sibling' to make life okay!

TwinsAndTiramisu · 02/10/2022 11:26

I'm an only. I have the best memories of Christmas.

You're doing what I did, which is when I had DS, get all forlorn about his lonely Christmases. That's entirely us projecting on to them. If my Christmases are so fondly remembered, why on earth I got all mopey because of poor DS the singleton, now, is frankly beyond me.

DS, now a teen, will wax lyrical about his best Christmases. The one where all his presents had a clue to find the next one hidden around the house. The one where I filled the living room with balloons and he came down to a sea of balloons to jump about in for hours. The one where we went to the (extremely expensive panto, with front row seats) and aged 4, as sleeping beauty was in the midst of her heartfelt monologue, stood up up and declared: "This is dull. I'm going home" and wandered to the door to be let out!

It's honestly what you make it. As a parent, we might stand back from the situation and have an occasional pang that how nice it would be if there was another child playing with him and his Christmas day toys. He's got not a clue, he's just happy! Trust me, with DTwins and a ten year age gap to DS, a calm only child Christmas is better in a lot of ways.

Make memories for him. Go collect pine cones, spray them gold and put them on the tree. Bring them out every year. Let him fill the table crackers with surprises. Make a Christmas lights scavenger hunt, take a list to be ticked off...who can find a light up Santa, who can find the house with the most lights, a Holly wreath etc.

Let him bake. Paperchains. Make a wreath for the door. Strings of popcorn to go around the tree. And let him look proudly at how brilliantly HE has made Christmas.

Xx

Original poster
xmasstuffing · 02/10/2022 12:36

Thank you for all the replies.

It is my son who says he wants kids to play with over xmas.
Last year I tried to arrange play dates in the holidays and was met with a wall of "we're busy with family over xmas".
Just felt a bit sad that my son then had no children to play with and this year will be the same no doubt.

Thank you for all of the wonderful ideas of some things we could do to make some memories as a family.

Giving him a sibling is not possible nor exactly practical for xmas is it so thanks to that poster for that unhelpful comment Hmm

OP posts:
userxx · 02/10/2022 12:41

Could you go away for Christmas?

NCFT0922 · 02/10/2022 12:42

Oh this is so sad :( can you invite his friends on days out with you? Granted they will probably be doing things with their own families but it’s worth asking.

Bickles · 02/10/2022 12:47

Tend to find that Christmas Day and Boxing Day are the days when it’s family only. We see friends on Christmas Eve and often have a houseful of friends over New Year for several days.
Christmas day is fun as an only with presents, nice food and grandparents. I am an only and do is DS.
Boxing Day is a PJ day with lego, food and films.
He’ll be fine.

ChakaKhanfan · 02/10/2022 12:57

Hey OP
have you perhaps got any friends who need a dog sitter over the Christmas period? Not a child, but arguably better company 😁

User2145738790 · 02/10/2022 12:59

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Biscuit
toomuchlaundry · 02/10/2022 13:15

What do you normally do over the Christmas period? As can be seen from this thread most people who have responded who are either onlies or have onlies seem to have fun times at Christmas. Ironically, I bet there are a number of children who are part of huge family gatherings who would much rather have a Christmas where they didn’t have to fight for attention and to be able to have some quiet time

Goldbar · 02/10/2022 13:28

Just go down to the 'rent-a-sibling' shop and rent a few for Christmas. Then return them Boxing Day when your DS is fed up of sharing his new toys with them 🙄.

We are in a similar situation to you, OP, with a very sociable 5 year old who has been an only child up until now. We will have a tiny baby for Christmas, but not much use for a 5 year old to play with, really, and it will also limit what we can do with the older one somewhat.

We usually do a trip away to Centerparcs or somewhere like that for a long weekend in the run-up to Christmas and our DC normally makes friends there in the play area or doing the activities. Then we book other activities for the run-up to Christmas - farm park, workshops, crafting sessions, meet Santa etc. If my DH isn't joining us, I will normally message my friends with young children and mums of school and nursery friends to see if anyone would like to join us. Not everyone is away for Christmas and certainly we've always managed to find a few people to meet up with. Our local playground is always busy so we tend to head there if DC is bored, also to local National Trust attractions which always have a few things going on. DC usually discovers some children to play with at these places.

Last year, we had our own little Christmas party a few days before Christmas where we invited anyone who was around - the kids wore Christmas jumpers and we had some Christmas games (including a Christmas-themed pass the parcel) and craft stuff, and had mince pies and hot chocolate. We had around 6 children in total and DC really enjoyed it. This year, we'll have to see if we have the energy to do this again. Do you have a class whatsapp group for parents? The way I organised our party last year was to message the whole nursery group to say 'Anyone around on X date? Let me know if you'd like to meet up and do something Christmassy with the kids that day.'

On the days in between Christmas and New Year, we usually do a combination of walks, playgrounds, soft play and usually a local theme park. We visit family for New Year.

With one though, if all else fails you do have to be their playmate. So be prepared for one of you to be playing boardgames or building new toys while the other is in charge of Christmas dinner...And then swap halfway through.

Bickles · 02/10/2022 13:34

I always think that Christmas and holidays are the only times that make having a sibling look appealing. The east of the time seems to be spent stopping them squabbling!

DayOfTheTentacle · 02/10/2022 16:59

I nearly posted something similar today Op. We have an only who will be 6 at Christmas.

He desperately wants his baby brother to be alive (he was poorly and died at birth when DS was 4) and I obviously can't solve that. And we lost another baby last December with two MC in between so we've stopped trying. So he will stay an only.

I'm always happy to host playdates and book days out with his mates. I feel most sad that he has no children to share the excitement of Christmas morning with. He has no cousins and probably won't.

But we'll go to church and the local light show, the park and garden centre to see the Christmas displays etc. I tend to go a bit overboard with "things to do" so aim to rein myself in this year and be led by him.

Goldbar · 02/10/2022 18:30

@DayOfTheTentacle . I am so sorry for your losses and what you and your wonderful DS have had to cope with.

mam0918 · 03/10/2022 12:40

This never even crossed my mind and was never an issue and and both myself and my DS where an only child until 10.

Kids dont need to constantly play with other kids, 2 weeks is nothing and with the excitement of xmas I never needed any distractions.

reluctantbrit · 03/10/2022 19:02

DD is an only child and 8 out of 10 years I have to work between Christmas and New Year.

She never had issues and it is a matter of planning.

So we organise playdates, well in advance. Most parents will be glad to hand over a child for 2 hours of relative peace. Last minute won't work often but pre-planned always did.
Look up for activities and do something organised.
Arrange at least one present you can build or craft.

Before Christmas - do some extra decorating. Bake another batch of cookies, movie night with picnic in the living room