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Christmas

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Original poster

Only child at Christmas

51 replies

xmasstuffing · 02/10/2022 08:56

I have a 5yr old son, he's an only child. We have a very small family and he has no cousins. Just elderly grandparents.

I really felt sad last Christmas that he had no one to play with the whole holidays.
Of course we played with him, but it's him wanting that companion to play with when we're cooking Christmas dinner etc.
He wants other kids to play with not just grownups.

Friends are all busy with their own families over Christmas.

I'm already thinking about how it'll be a long 2 weeks for him over the Christmas holidays with no kids to play with.

If you have an only child and no cousins/family kids around how do you make Christmas feel more fun?

I feel like at this age Christmas is all for the kids and it seems lonely for him with no other kids to share it with.

I know I can't magic some children for him to play with but what do your only child families do over Christmas? SmileStar

OP posts:
Dinoteeth · 02/10/2022 09:00

Can you not arrange a couple of play dates with school friends?

wateraddict · 02/10/2022 09:01

Depending on when the holidays fall, there are some kids clubs that open in my local area for a the working days over the holidays, especially when there's a few days off before Christmas itself. Always worth a look.

I would definitely ask school friends if they would like play dates if they are local to you in the holidays. We all need a blow out in the park and maybe if not a play date at home, but meeting up for walks and a park trip may be a good alternative? Or plan trips to Christmas events where they have kids crafts etc? With a bit of planning it's worth asking even if you may expect a no. Good luck!

RewildingAmbridge · 02/10/2022 09:01

Friends will be busy for some of the time but not every day, just message saying are there any days you are free DS misses having other children around, even offer a playdate parent doesn't need to stay for. The dreaded soft play is a good idea if your child is confident or the park .DS makes new 'friends' every time we go, some we see regularly when we go to a particular park but most are just children he'll play with and not see again, but he's still happy.
Cousins live a fair distance away so whilst he has two at don't see them often.

Everydaywheniwakeup · 02/10/2022 09:04

Mine is an only with no cousins. I have never felt she has missed out. Christmas day is only one day - we did lots of things leading up to and after Christmas, meeting friends, going places, films, cooking etc. On Christmas day, she wasn't bored when I was cooking as she has new stuff to play with and Christmas dinner kind of cooks itself, so not lots to do there. I think you are feeling sad for you rather than because the situation is sad.

quietnightmare · 02/10/2022 09:07

Kids clubs
Play dates
Activities, see Santa, go pet reindeers, scavenger hunts, go to the park and strike up a convo with other parents

Birdie135 · 02/10/2022 09:08

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TheDouglasChater · 02/10/2022 09:09

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Are you for real? Hmm

BadgerLovesMash · 02/10/2022 09:09

I'm sure if you asked his friends parents many would love you to have them for a playdate. Even a few hours so they can finish up wrapping or grab last minute bits without a little one in tow!

Also have you looked to see if theres anything on locally? Children's church services, fairs or events at local soft play etc.

My DH used to work every day except Christmas day, I would take my dds to everything that was on locally. Or even just going to the park there was often other children there.

In fact me and DH have taken our girls to the park or local green on Christmas day and there is usually other children there. We usually took something they got for Christmas like a kite or remote control car, one year one of those stomp rockets.

eurochick · 02/10/2022 09:09

Playdates are the answer. We arrange them every holiday for our only.

eurochick · 02/10/2022 09:11

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Regardless of the OP's personal circumstances, this is hardly the answer. The child would be 6 before any sibling is born, 9 before the sibling would be any kind of playmate. It's not exactly a practical solution.

Rocketclub · 02/10/2022 09:11

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What did I just read!! ?

seriously OP he needs family - you. Lots of movies, bake a Christmas cake, go on a bear hunt, go to see reindeers etc ask any other parents in the class WA group if they want to meet up for an hour.

consider it home bonding time with you - family bunkering down

SpringCalling · 02/10/2022 09:12

Agree you need to be pretty persistent in arranging play dates / days out with others. My only also has a Christmas birthday which adds even more pressure to the mix! Be flexible your end when asking if others are free - they will be at some point! You may well host more that it is returned, but let it be known that's ok with you so others don't feel they need to refuse as they can't host back.

Ragwort · 02/10/2022 09:13

I never felt my 'only' DC had a sad Christmas, he's 21 now and always talks about enjoying his Christmases. Agree with a PP that you are projecting your feelings onto your DC. We always found things to do, invited friends round (some DC from "larger" families were pleased to have a one to one Invitation). There are usually lots of activities run by local churches or kids clubs ... just going to garden centres, parks, evening walks to look at the lights etc is fun. My DS used to come with me when I did meals on wheels and have a chat with the old folk. Grin Baking, playing board games, jigsaws, watching a film etc is probably easier with one DC.

NCHammer2022 · 02/10/2022 09:14

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“Give” him a sibling? Fucking appalling idea anyway, but not really something that can be resolved by Christmas, is it?

I think keeping busy is the main thing, at 5 doing fun stuff with mum & dad is enough - endless days in the house are the thing that might get boring.

RuthW · 02/10/2022 09:16

Nothing wrong with being an only. Both me and dd are ownlies. I was a since parent with elderly parents. You don't miss what you don't have. Get him involved with cooking the dinner etc.

toomuchlaundry · 02/10/2022 09:18

Play dates, seeing Santa, panto, seeing family (only and no cousins either). However, DS was quite happy amusing himself so made things easier.

Surely he is centre of attention. Sort out cooking so he is not ignored when that is happening

Oopsilot · 02/10/2022 09:18

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FFS.

My IVF DC is an only child because every other cycle ended in MC or BFN. Don’t ever ask ‘when are you having another one…..why done you have a second child?’ To anyone.

Runoutofusernames · 02/10/2022 09:18

My Ds is in much the same situation. To be honest I don't think it bothers them as much as it bothers us. Whilst they may not have the "company" of a similar age child they do get all the attention, don't have to share and there is no falling outs to deal with when they are overwhelmed or tired. Try and look at the positives ( and ignore the ignorance of someone suggesting you give them a sibling 🤦)

PanettoneMoly · 02/10/2022 09:21

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A baby is for life, not just for Christmas, Birdie.

JlL2013 · 02/10/2022 09:22

We do lots as a family ie bowling, cinema, family film night with pizza and treats etc in the run up to Xmas.

We live on a very quiet street so he plays out quite a bit.

Family games for the switch like Mario party, Mario kart etc.

My DP is a bit of a child which helps.

As someone else said DS is very good at making friends with ransoms in the park, quite often there are kids from school who he knows.

All the play dates, be the fun house.

Also beavers so they get to know other children who maybe are not in the same school.

And whoever said give him a sibling, you are a knob.

Phineyj · 02/10/2022 09:26

We do what @wateraddict and @RewildingAmbridge suggest. DD has a 26th Dec birthday and this year we're taking her to a West End show with a school.friend a couple of days later - the other mum readily agreed. DD likes BMX and the tracks are open 24/7 and there's always other kids there.

DD also plays online with friends a lot and we are friendly with the neighbours who have DC.

You do need to plan ahead more when you have an only.

Selok · 02/10/2022 09:26

Exactly same as our family! No other children in the family, elderly grandparents, auntie and uncle both not married no children and besides all this, not a child friendly family (my husband side, our English family) my family is overseas DD has cousins unfortunately barely met them! She is 17 now but when she was younger, I would try to make as many plans as possible until last minute with friends, offered to take all friends group to see Santa etc, once plans finish with friends then I would take her to London Oxford street and Hamleys treats, fair grounds etc on Christmas day sitting with sleepy grandparents eat quietly and we three playing some games- I guess she accepted this arrangement and was happy with this

LilyMyOneAndOnly · 02/10/2022 09:29

Echoing what all the other posters have suggested, I am the main arranger or playdates and friends days out in our friendship groups my DS friendship circle at school. I host the majority of playdates, I even put on an annual children's Christmas party as close to Christmas as possible so the house has an afternoon where it is full of kids and chaos! When tickets come out for a Christmas event I WhatsApp them to everyone and see if anyone wants to join us.

All of this doesn't come naturally to me at all, I'm a complete introvert at heart, but my DS loves it and that's what's important to me. And I feel it is sort of my duty as a parent of an only child. Christmas day itself is just us and his grandparents but he loves that all of the focus is on him!!

I do occasionally worry that my requests for playdates will get on people's nerves but overwhelming the feedback is that people appreciate how organised I am and that we always get tickets before they're sold out etc!!

southlondoner02 · 02/10/2022 09:37

Mine is an only and has cousins but we don't see them at Christmas. In the run up we do lots of activities, might invite a friend ice skating etc. Christmas itself we have with my brother who has no children and my dad. She loves the attention of so many adults- always someone to play games etc. my dad takes her to the panto on Boxing Day.
I wouldn't underestimate how much kids like you just spending time playing with them with their new toys

TimBoothseyes · 02/10/2022 09:46

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Idiot comment

Arrange a few playdates on the run up to Christmas. IME parents who have more than 1 seem to appreciate having 1 less excited child to deal with for a few hours. DD's friends mums would always agree to it before I'd finished asking the question. 😃. Other days/evenings we would go for walks and gather stuff to make decorations out of, go look at the Christmas light displays at different houses in the village and there would always be a "special" activity which I would not have been able to afford had I had more than 1 child...Steam train ride with Santa, ice-skating, trip to the local wildlife park that kind of thing.