Charity gifts

[Glowinglights]

Hi,
Every year we exchange xmas gifts with my inlaws. Nothing too much , £20 per person approximately. I’m happy to buy for them, we normally spend a bit more on DHs parents, and on the 2 children in the family, and we enjoy shopping for the presents - all good. (So 4/5 gifts per adult normally)

My issue is that I am really not in need of anything, and most gifts I get, I do not really like. I don’t buy much for myself in general, but what I buy, I am quite specific in. I would like to ask them to buy a gift from Unicef - inspired gifts instead.
But I don’t want to come across as ‘holier than thou’, and make anyone feel offended. I am in no way thinking that it’s bad to receive presents etc, but truthfully almost all gifts I have received over the years end up as raffle prices, or go to the charity shop. I much rather have the money spend on a good cause.

Do you think it’s acceptable to ask for an ‘inspired gift’ and how could I phrase this to not offend anyone. What would you think if someone asked you this?
Thank you!

Well it wouldn't upset me if you gave a short list of your favourite charities- or suggested I chose my own

"I'd rather no gifts but if you strongly disagree can I suggest sonething I can give to our local food bank "

I think it’s likely to cause huge offence tbh.
If they wanted to give to charity they already would (or maybe they already do) asking them to give money away from their pocket on your behalf isn’t likely to go down well.

Could you drop hints about a specific wine, book, gift voucher or something instead?

Could you just say I’ve seen this mug (or any other item in the UNICEF shop, I just like the mug!) I really like, could I have that? Then they get to buy you a gift while the charity gets the money?

I getting really quite cross at people insisting on buying gifts

It shows you really don't give a toss about me and my values

It's all. About making the gift giver feel good about themselves at my expense

@ProlifiInProfanity Thanks, that’s exactly what I’m afraid off.
I’ve tried for years to drop clear hints what I’d like but still end up with ‘stuff’. But maybe that’s just the way it is and I have to try again this year.

@BloodyMabel thats a great idea - would remove any awkwardness.

@midgetastic Yes, it does feel a bit like that sometimes. They surely should know after 20 yrs I don’t really go for more stuff 😅

Thing is giving to charity isn't a gift to another person, its a personal thing not something you do on behalf of others.

If you dont wan't physical items them what about tickets or experiances (even if its afternoon tea at a nice place with the giver so you can catch up).

Other than that just suggest consumables like your favorite biscuits, cheese, sweets or drinks etc...

Just tell them you are de cluttering and you’re not doing gifts this year.

Could you ask to sponsor a child or a turtle or a n other as it's something personal to you but also does good .

We have got charity gifts for people one year. My husband is from a very large family and we pooled the £5-£10 per adult (still doing secret santa and buying for kids) and sponsored a gift for a year that was pertinent to the family. I guarantee that everyone loved it. I think it is really fine to say that you so appreciate the thought that people put into getting you presents and please will they do the same with a charity gift this year. Good luck