To think a 'main present' for dc isn't necessary.

[User6447482684755]

I grew up with a mum who also believed a main Christmas present was necessary, even if something wasn't needed. For instance I often got given a bike for main present when I didn't really need one, nor was I much of a cycler. Looking back it was just something she bought for the sake of it - nuts.

I have my own dc. Sometimes they've had a considerably more expensive present for a main present, DS had an Xbox last year which he wanted which is fine.

but this year neither of my dc need anything particularly expensive or large or a main present.

dd wants a couple barbie cutie reveals and they aren't cheap. DS wants Lego but will have a few small Lego sets rather than a large one - his attention span js too short for the larger sets. Amongst other things they will like. Dd will get crafty stuff, books, soft toys and kids make up. DS will likely have fidget type toys, books and other stuff I can't think of yet. DS wants monopoly.

my two seem to appreciate the stuff more. My mums flabbergasted they they don't always have a 'main present' but if they don't need or ask for anything it's not needed right?

ds has an Xbox, we have computers, well lots of them actually because Dp fixes computers, also builds his own and a total computer geek. We have an iPad, Nintendo switch etc.

there is nothing I could think of they would need!

You know you're right. Of course no sensible person would just be buying stuff for the sake of it, especially at the moment when money is tight for many of us

They also have bikes, we will look at bikes for their birthdays next summer if they've outgrown theirs by then. Both have a scooter!

This is my thinking!

Lego can be a main present whether it's one big set or several small. If several then wrap it's all up together in one giant parcel and - ta da - it's now a 'main present'.
A couple of Barbie dolls wrapped up as one gift is also a 'main present'.
There you are sorted. Both children have main presents.
Tell your mum to butt out.

Thank you. The barbies should be a main present for the cost 😅 she wants cutie reveals which are about £34 each, they are literally a barbie with an animal suit on! She had one for her birthday and wants more!

You could do annual passes to a local attraction as a big present then it would save you money throughout the year if you are searching for something to give as a big present but honestly I don’t see the issue with giving gifts you know they want and will use whether they are big or small. There’s no real need for a big present.

@User6447482684755 £34 each. Blimey. One would be a main present in my house at that price 🙂

Thank you! Mil often does this for us all at Christmas rather than gifts 😊

Very have one of the ones she wants for £25 but the other is not on sale! It's a lot of money! She will be having cheaper things otherwise 😊

To be honest, I go one step further. My DCs only get one small present at Christmas. If I get something “bigger”, then it’s something they are expected to share with each other.

As a family we’re very well off. My DCs have everything they need, and I try to be careful about getting them too many things that they “want”. I’m not nasty about it, but the world is burning and doesn’t need every kid for be getting loads more plastic toys. I’d rather teach my kids to appreciate what they have and to use their imaginations to play with each other (which they’re getting pretty good at, although I’m also getting good at tuning out “I’m bored!”). It’s a balance.

We don't do "main presents". We buy them what they need or want as and when.

I don’t understand “main presents.” I’ve never heard of them before moving to England. Buy what they want and need.

Their main present is the gift they have wanted the most. This isn’t always the largest or the most expensive.

I agree with @BooksAndHooks

my 'main' present was usually the thing I wanted the most, (well, after Horse & Puppy!!) sometimes it was expensive & sometimes not.

occasionally it was something my parents though I or we would get a lot of use out if ('Santa' once brought us a climbing frame to share).

However, a bigger set of whatever Lego that your DS loves will help him to learn a greater attention span & it doesn't have to be made in one go! He could do it one sealed bag at a time.

My DH is like this, they always have to have a ‘big’ present. Drives me nuts.

Here you go OP

£29.70 if youre a new customer apparently! www.ukdealsandgiveaways.co.uk/latest-barbie-cutie-reveals-32-99-inc-delivery-bargain-max/

We did 'main present' when I was a child. As mine have got older we've tended to get phones or games consoles as 'main presents', but last year two of my three didn't have a 'main' present just several medium ones. DD (11 at the time) genuinely thought all she was getting for Christmas was the Squishmallow cuddly toy she'd seen me buying. DS2 wanted a load of different things for cadets like camping stuff.
Basically, I have a budget and they can have either a big/expensive thing or several other things.

Yes when it comes to children people seem to confuse 'main' with something 'big' - like actual physically big.
I used to work in a shop selling toys and every year there would be Grannies with wish lists. The amount of times I overheard "Oh I can't get this it's tiny".
I can imagine those children on Christmas morning are wondering why Granny didn't get them the Tamagotchi/Action Figure/Barbie clothes that was on their wish list and instead they have received a random toy that happens to come in a large box.

I think this should spark an interesting conversation with your mum to the history of main presents. You might find she had a difficult relationship with her family but the one thing which she treasured is the family tradition of a main present - it’s likely it made feel loved and treasured and she used this as a language of love god you. My m’n’law was quite obsessed with me sending cards even though I think they are a waste of money and a phone call is better. Turns out she saw cards as a way of seeing how many people loved you - the more cards she had the better she felt about herself so she thought others felt the same. We compromised and she was allowed to buy and send cards on my behalf to distant relatives - I stepped up my own card buying for her and she now gets two cards from our family one from us and a second from our kids.

@ittakes2 that's lovely, well done for finding out the reason and not dismissing out of hand. My best 'main present' of all time from Santa was a set of hardback Famous Five books, nothing else comes close, not even the Chopper! Agree it's the main thing you want, not the cost.

Growing up, a main present in my house meant the one you were hoping for the most. Not the biggest or most expensive.

Totally agree, but I’ve also fallen into the “main” present trap without realising sometimes. For me the main present is and should be the most wanted regardless of size but I have found myself buying bigger items when there is an imbalance between DCs sometimes. My DCs only get to list 2 items on their Christmas list, they get far more but I don’t want to be in a position of them wanting more than I can get so I limit them. It’s hard though when one wants a switch and the other a note book, I find myself looking for something that has the switch “WOW” factor even if it’s not been asked for.

I gave FIL a main present last year. A week before Xmas he saw in a customer of his' house a notebook. It had loads of stuff in it like lined paper, grid paper, graphs. To him it was cool. He's self employed. I bought it for Xmas morning. He was so excited. Cost about £6. A main present cam be a little thing that makes them most excited.

@bellathedarkoverlord I like the sound of that very much, could you point me in the right direction please? 😉

@MammaWeasel I think it was a "QConnect things to do today notebook". Something like that. I got it on Amazon I think.