Christmas with DC with a big age gap

[UndertheCedartree]

I have 2 DC who are 10 and 15. I like to make Christmas magical for them but obviously my eldest is beyond believing in FC etc! If I just had him I'd probably scale things back a bit. But my youngest is still really into the magic. Not sure if she still believes in FC but probably in that in between stage where maybe she knows it is me who does her stocking but she still wants to immerse herself in those things.

My problem is that obviously my eldest is beyond the stage of wanting Christmas novelties and little bits and pieces. It doesn't help that the youngest is a girl and it's so easy to pick up hair things etc that she will love and use. I don't want to get my DS things that will just sit in a drawer gathering dust and like many I do need to be especially careful with my money so loathe to waste in on things he won't use.

I've always made the extras like stockings, CE boxes etc similar to each other and 'even' if you know what I mean. For example I always give them both a cuddly poking out the top of their stocking, but DS doesn't really want cuddlies anymore. But equally I don't want my youngest to miss out.

Sorry for the essay. Hope it makes sense. Any ideas or tips much appreciated!

My children are adults now but they still love a Christmas Stocking. I just fill them with useful things, different for each of them and always lots of underwear which they miss if it doesn’t happen! I also found my eldest really made it seem more magical for the youngest once she stopped believing (4 years age difference)

Your eldest has had five more years of the fun and magic than your youngest.

Would he even notice not getting a cuddly toy? O just be happy to get a bag if his favourite sweets for example?

Yes, exactly so I don't want to deprive my youngest!

I don't think he would mind atall, it's more would my youngest wonder why FC had stopped giving the eldest a cuddly toy for example. And I feel I can't give my youngest a CE box and not the eldest. They've always been identical, would she wonder why he wasn't getting the Christmas novelties she was. I'm probably over thinking!

Last year the eldest still wanted to see FC! But I didn't mind as the cost of bringing him along as an extra 'adult' would have worked out at the same price, as the DC gets one adult 'free', so I thought he might as well get the present!

Just make it age appropriate. My 2 eldest are less than 2 years apart but I had dc3 when they were 8 & 6. They were always treated fairly & older ones didn't expect little one to get same stocking fillers as them.

Can you get novelty or Xmas toiletries for 15 yr old instead of a cuddly? Or a nice throw or body pillow for his bedroom? My 17yr old ds still likes cosy bed socks, nice pyjamas & loves his Oodie type plush hoodie.

They all like xmas sweets/chocs etc in their stockings. Eldest has left home now but comes home for Xmas & loves her stocking (& advent calender 🤣)!

FC is all knowing and all seeing. He knows 15yr old boys probably don't need any more soft toys. But he might substitute for some fun items like Christmas socks etc. Just make some age appropriate changes to the stockings and you're good to go.
At 10yrs old I think that the Santa magic is on borrowed time now!

I think at ten your daughter won’t question the differences because she probably knows or strongly suspects and won’t risk having it confirmed by asking

However if she does ask then she’s old enough to understand her brother is 15 now and Santa brings him different stuff, things he prefers

Why would FC bring a 15 year old boy the same things as a 10 year old girl? Your dd isn't stupid I assume. She really won't think it odd that he gets completely different things. I think you are over thinking things. But nice that you care

I'm 8 years older than my sister and always enjoyed all the Christmas magic! There's no need for them to have similar stuff in their stockings, and if your older DC wants to opt out of some of the more childish stuff like leaving cookies out for Santa, then let them. But you'll probably find that they still like a lot of the traditions you have

5 years is really not that big of a gap my oldest is 10 and 12 years older than his siblings. I have a friend with 23 years between kids, she was a grandkid older than her youngest.

I was also 10+ year older than my own sibling, my mam did a u-turn when I was 13, we always had MASSIVE xmas before then but my mam scaled it right back partially bacause she thought I was a teen now and too 'old' and partially so my siblings wouldnt remember and expect the big xmas.

I hated it, it was the nail in the coffin of my childhood... I may have been getting older but I did want xmas to change, I dispised xmas until my oldest was born and we could do the whole big xmases again.

Its not that teen do want xmas its just they dont want dolls and teddies anymore, you can still find useful things they would love.

Are there no older toys your DS likes to replace the teddy? my teens likes Fugglers and my friends teen like Funko Pop etc...

We have a big age gap (20, 18 and 10) and we always tried to think long term when we began traditions. To this day Father Christmas brings them all a Christmas Eve family hamper with pyjamas for anyone sleeping under our roof on that night (one year this included DH and I, 3 DC’s, 2 sets of GP and 1 GGP!), a bath bomb for each DC, sweets, popcorn, hot chocolate, marshmallows and a bottle of vintage port!

The same rule applies to Christmas stockings. However they are filled with treats for the recipient, and therefore each individual and ever changing.

On Dec 1st I bring out the Christmas bedding, crockery and books - many are over 15yrs old. All my DC still get an chocolate advent calendar and DC3 gets a special one (Lego usually) plus festive pyjamas and a new Christmas jumper from the Elf. The elf knows DC1&2 don’t need new ones as they have ones that fit!

Your youngest won't care about her brother getting a cuddly, she understands he's older. Do different stockings tailored for each of them. It's what FC would do!

I know what you mean OP. I struggle to fill a stocking for older teen DS. DD is a much younger teen and it's easier to pick up things she likes to bulk out the stocking.

For DS, I've taken to giving him bulky treat foods, socks and one nice small thing that is the same value as DDs. I'm hoping he realises I've spent the same amount on them.

I think your DD will realise Father Christmas changes what he gives in stocking to suit the person. Maybe mention casually when she's opening hers this year. You know she knows you're the one doing the stocking, she won't ask you outright why they're different in case it tips you off.

It is...but I'm clinging on to it by my fingernails! 😊

A nice park of trainers poking out the stocking or only thing in the stocking would likely go down a treat

You are probably right! It isn't just different things but also that honestly my 15yo wants a lot less. But it sort of wouldn't feel fair for my DD to have lots more than him...but I still want to spoil her like I did DS when he was 10!

My DS is very particular about what he likes. And in all honesty he doesn't want much. But I still want to do all the 'extras' for my DD! I suppose as long as they're both happy, it doesn't matter!

You're probably right! Perhaps it's me that's trying to cling to these things because he's growing up....🥲

Yes, I could literally fill my DD's stocking 10 times over! But so hard to know what to put in DS's!

And yes, I assume she does really know...but we'll stay pretending for a while longer!

He has size 11 feet...I maybe able to fit one trainer in! 😄

Thanks all for the helpful tips and suggestions!

I'm suddenly feeling all emotional about the DC growing up and Christmas changing!