Alternatives to Secret Santa

Piccalino3 · 2022-09-13T22:16:12+00:00

I have a family Christmas party and usually we do Secret Santa (budget £30). This year no one wants to which is fine and we're saying no presents, however bring a bottle and a dessert has been suggested. As the host I'll have plenty for everyone and don't want to end up with 15 desserts and loads of bottles, so I'd like an alternative as I know people will feel bad turning up with nothing. I thought about getting everyone to put £10 in a card (or whatever they want), writing a festive joke or including a photo or something, all to be opened while we're together. Money could be donated to the food bank or Shelter or something. I know not everything has to be a charity collection but I thought it might be a nice way of acknowledging we used to do gifts and none of us need anything to clutter our home and there are people who are in need of help. IDK, is it a naff idea? Anyone do anything that is fun for people to participate in, without a big effort or expense?

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 13/09/2022 23:27

We play a stealing secret santa game like this except all the items must be under £5 (or some other limit) and from a charity shop. They can be either new or donated but must be from a charity shop. It means that no one spends too much, a charity benefits and they have fun playing the game.

Stompythedinosaur · 13/09/2022 23:29

I'd assume people don't want to do the secret Santa to save money, so I wouldn't suggest you bring cash into it.

I think asking everyone to bring a favourite photo or memory from the year could be nice if your family are the type to join in.

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 14/09/2022 10:03

I think the previous persons idea of bringing photos and memories is a lovely one. Then if its financial why they don't want to take part they won't feel embarrassed.

Or perhaps if you are all readers could you say everyone bring books and do a book swap? I would say films but most people use streaming services now!

Ragwort · 14/09/2022 10:19

I would just stick to the 'bring a bottle OR dessert' .. are you having 15 individual guests or are some of them couples, families etc .. make it clear it is one bottle or dessert per household and you won't be inundated. Just getting together as a family over a nice meal is lovely and you really don't want books, cash donations etc etc detracting from the event. We have set a very strict 'no gifts' rule this year (all adults).

mam0918 · 14/09/2022 11:17

I agree no to the deserts.

At uni I had an America friend who invited us all to thanks giving and we where all told to cook and bring a desert as it was tradition. It was a PITA (I had to buy cooking supplies I didnt own and tupperwear, which I never got back) and non of our brought food was even put out or eaten by anyone and theres no way the 3 that lived there could eat 15 cake before they go off.

It just struck me as utterly stupid and wasteful.

I would never suggest other put £10 in an envelope, suggesting or dictating money is just really rude and £10 is a lot to people... the joke or meme thing might be ok.

You could set a secret santa challange to find the 'tackiest' or 'craziest' item in a charity shop, set a low max budget like £5 tops so people have to be limited and creative.

It will likely be more of a laugh than a joke (which you get in crackers anyway) and charity got a bit of money, no extra waste in the world, it costs next to nothing and if people dont want clutter they can given them back to a charity shop the next day without any guilt.

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 14/09/2022 11:18

Can you do a pot luck supper thing instead? Or ask so many people do dessert, others cheese board, some Christmas crackers etc.

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 14/09/2022 11:19

mam0918 · 14/09/2022 11:17

I agree no to the deserts.

At uni I had an America friend who invited us all to thanks giving and we where all told to cook and bring a desert as it was tradition. It was a PITA (I had to buy cooking supplies I didnt own and tupperwear, which I never got back) and non of our brought food was even put out or eaten by anyone and theres no way the 3 that lived there could eat 15 cake before they go off.

It just struck me as utterly stupid and wasteful.

I would never suggest other put £10 in an envelope, suggesting or dictating money is just really rude and £10 is a lot to people... the joke or meme thing might be ok.

You could set a secret santa challange to find the 'tackiest' or 'craziest' item in a charity shop, set a low max budget like £5 tops so people have to be limited and creative.

It will likely be more of a laugh than a joke (which you get in crackers anyway) and charity got a bit of money, no extra waste in the world, it costs next to nothing and if people dont want clutter they can given them back to a charity shop the next day without any guilt.

There is a significant time cost to trawling through charity shops.

mam0918 · 14/09/2022 11:23

My ILs also have a summer game where everyone has to bring the wierdest but best tasting pie to their summer get together and then have a pie eating contest, Im not sure that works for xmas as theres already loads of food but maybe you could do it with quirky unusual sweets/snack or drinks etc... instead of getting half a dozen cakes.

mam0918 · 14/09/2022 11:27

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 14/09/2022 11:19

There is a significant time cost to trawling through charity shops.

Show quote history

Not really, I use to be part of the charity hunting group and could find half a dozen things for the 'wierd item' competitions in under 5 minutes - zero trawling need.

You barely have to make it through the door to find wierd stuff in 4 of the 5 charity shops in my town, theres only Scope that rarely has wierd stuff.

Smogtopia · 14/09/2022 14:03

If people really don't want to turn up empty handed can't you do a small list of things that would be useful?
Person A brings a nice cheddar
Person b brings Brie

small bar or dark choc / quince jelly / onion chutney / oatcakes / grapes / figs

Between all of your guests you'll have a lovely cheeseboard and people wouldn't have spent over £6/7 -

PoppyBlunt · 14/09/2022 14:08

Everyone bring a card with a scratchcard in it.
Cheapish and a chance of winning.

Original poster

Piccalino3 · 14/09/2022 14:30

Oh I love the scratch card idea!!! Yes that would work.

Thanks everyone for the ideas. I really do not want people bringing food. I'm too much of a control freak and would rather put it all together myself. There will be about 20 people, maybe more, all in different stages of life. No real money concerns particularly for anyone so that's not the big issue, it's more the effort of doing the gifts so anything that's a lot of effort is out.

OP posts:

Checkmateready · 15/09/2022 13:12

What about bring a book gift?

Bring a lottery ticket/scratch card?

Dilbertian · 15/09/2022 13:31

I'm part of a group that started as playground mums. When our children started going to different schools and the group started dispersing, we set up our Biscuitarian Society. We meet up 2-3 times a year, with home-made biscuits. The rule is that if, say, 8 of us are meeting up, then each brings at least twice that number of home-made goodies. We each get to taste each offering and also take one of each home. Recipes get passed to the group chat afterwards.

There are never any leftovers for the host to deal with, and everyone gets their tupperware back full of new goodies.

We've been going for so long now that people are bringing their own versions of other people's earlier recipes. It's fun!

Of course, this only works if people like baking!

kateandme · 15/09/2022 14:01

Pick out of a hat items you need.
cheddar
crwckers
tonic etc then you get things you need but nothing of one thing.

or get everyone to bring an item that you can take to your local food bank?
or you all put money in a pot to buy a sponsored animal,tree planted or goat type giving gift.
you could all adopt a lion, reef,plant a thousand trees etc

kateandme · 15/09/2022 14:03

Dilbertian · 15/09/2022 13:31

I'm part of a group that started as playground mums. When our children started going to different schools and the group started dispersing, we set up our Biscuitarian Society. We meet up 2-3 times a year, with home-made biscuits. The rule is that if, say, 8 of us are meeting up, then each brings at least twice that number of home-made goodies. We each get to taste each offering and also take one of each home. Recipes get passed to the group chat afterwards.

There are never any leftovers for the host to deal with, and everyone gets their tupperware back full of new goodies.

We've been going for so long now that people are bringing their own versions of other people's earlier recipes. It's fun!

Of course, this only works if people like baking!

done this with cakes. 10 of us so 10 different slices of cake to take home was amazing!

Dilbertian · 15/09/2022 14:32

Ooo cake! I might suggest this a as an alternative to biscuits. Hope they won't consider it heretical - we've been committed Biscuitarians for many years.