Should I even up costs?

[Sprogonthetyne]

I'm super lucky that exact toy that DS(6) has been asking for popped up on our local Facebook pass it on page today, just been to pick it up from someone having a pre Christmas clear out. The conundrum is, this was going to be DS's main present, and would have cost around £50 new, which is about half his budget. Should I still

A. Still get the same other bits I'd planned, and save £50

B. Get more so kids have equal spend, but he will likely have more then sibling (3)

I cant understand these suggestions for the life of me.

The way I see this is say you save up 10k each over your kids life for a big life event like a wedding and you have 2 kids.

Say the first child elopes cheapily and pays for it herself, then following these suggestions you would take 'her' 10k and:

1. pocket it yourself
2. give half to her sister so she can have a bigger wedding
3. have a holiday

Justification being shes already married so YOU got a freebie where you expected to pay, but morally you saved that money for her and its wrong to then give the sister 10k (or even 15-20k) and her nothing regardless of if they both had the same 'result' of being married.

@mam0918 - we're not talking about £10k though, we're talking about £50. Children don't care how much is spent on them when they're little. And adding £50 to the general Christmas pot might mean a nicer Christmas for the whole family.

I absolutely agree with you though that if you're saving for your kids, you give them equal amounts. That said, I don't think the savings shouldn't be tied to any particular event.

But savings and spending on presents are two entirely different things and unless the OP is regularly spending much less on one child than the other, it really isn't a big deal.

Mine are 7 and 4. I got dc2's main present for £20 (brand new playmobil ice castle). Her brother's main present is looking like it will cost around £70. I won't be buying her an extra £50 worth of presents because she doesn't need an extra £50s worth. If anything, my children wallow in excess at Christmas as it is and we need to reduce it. 1 main present, 3 to 4 other presents, a box of books, a stocking from Santa, a gift from St Nicholas on his saint's day and all they get from family is more than enough.

We do however put identical amounts in their savings accounts.

Obviously you're right that when it comes to large amounts of money that you've saved for them, all things should be equal. But this is £50. And would it be fair that the other child gets less just because there wasn't a freebie or deal to be had?

Except your example is nothing like the OPs quandary.

In the wedding example equivalent, it would be like, for example, a grandparent paying for the exact same wedding (same size, same price) as the siblings eventual wedding, and the bride/groom being unaware that their parents didn't pay for it. Then being gifted an extra £10,000 on top to 'even things up' because by the time their sibling got married the grandparent had died meaning the parents paid the full whack themselves.

That would be a ridiculous thing to do.

The OPs DS isn't having a lesser gift (eloping) nor paying for the gift himself ; or will even know that his mum didn't swap the gift for cash.

wow... eloping is 'lesser' how offensive can you be - most people elope on purpose because they WANT to.

My point is if you save money for a child (regardless of purpose) the amount you saved is for the child so if you saved 100 per child for xmas that 100 was saved specifically for the child and should go to the child same as the wedding comparison... its then shitty to take some of it back or give it to someone else like many suggestions here are advising.

Even with the wedding example, if one sibling wanted a small quiet do and the other a bigger affair, I wouldn't even up the spend on each.

My sister went to uni and I didn't. My parents supported her study, I didn't need /want it. I knew I could have had it if I wanted it, but I chose not to. It never occurred to me (in the 30 years since) that they should have evened things up.

I don't think it's quiet so black and white as having saved the money "for" the child. I have some money and I choose how to spend it. It's not all divided up into little pots for specific use.