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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Gifts for orphaned nephews first christmas without parents

41 replies

Nidan2Sandan · 05/09/2022 14:11

My sister died early this year, very suddenly. The boys Dad committed suicide in 2020.

They are 18 and 22.

Usually I dont buy for nieces and nephews, frankly because I have a butt tonne of them and it would send me bankrupt.

Nephews are now independently wealthy due to various payouts, significantly more so than we are. (They have both received in excess of £100k each) They never buy gifts for anyone else in the family, and we would never expect them to.

However, with no Mum and Dad to buy them gifts they would have nothing bought for them if myself and my mum/sister dont get them anything (their Dads side of the family cut them off after their Dad died) but money is EXTREMELY tight for us all.

So, any suggestions on what to buy them? They're your typical young men, interests are gaming PCs, younger one is learning to drive and recently bought himself a car. They dont have hobbies, dont like to go out, no cinema, pubs etc. Dont drink.

My budget is no more than £15 each 😔

OP posts:
Ganymedemoon · 05/09/2022 14:15

Trying to think of some suggestions. Do they read? Do they like to cook?

Whatever you get them, it's really lovely of you to do this and consider them at Xmas.

Mumoftoomanygirls · 05/09/2022 14:16

Maybe something personal, photo book of the family, lots of pictures of their mum. Nice photo in a frame.

MintyChipton · 05/09/2022 14:21

Would they appreciate a Christmas stocking with the usual socks, sweets, etc in? Or maybe something else that might be traditional for them.

NiqueNique · 05/09/2022 14:22

I would maybe do stockings instead? A good pair of socks (everyone needs more socks), a book, a bar of chocolate. Plus 1 or 2 little joke/fun things, perhaps? Like a puzzle game or a pack of cards. More a token really, of course, given that they can likely buy what they want for themselves at the moment, but the important thing is letting them know you’re thinking of them. And if they used to get stockings when they were younger then this is something their parents would have done for them which they might likely never get again.

NiqueNique · 05/09/2022 14:23

Please check @Reastie’s bargain threads if you’re not already on there, as you would be able to find lots of little fun and interesting things for not much money, if you do decide to go with stockings.

Original poster
Nidan2Sandan · 05/09/2022 14:24

Ganymedemoon · 05/09/2022 14:15

Trying to think of some suggestions. Do they read? Do they like to cook?

Whatever you get them, it's really lovely of you to do this and consider them at Xmas.

No, they wouldnt touch a book and neither cook much past pasta or pizza. After my sister died DH and I spent weeks teaching them to shop and cook but they have no desire to. Just want convenience food.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nidan2Sandan · 05/09/2022 14:26

They never had stockings from my sister, but I like the idea of maybe little bits.

In some ways they're very simple boys, in that they dont do designer clothing or anything. But as they have no real hobbies it just makes things harder.

OP posts:
FrazzleDazz · 05/09/2022 14:26

I also think the stocking idea is a lovely one, sweets, socks, toiletries, maybe a little voucher for a coffee or just eat?

DiscoBadgers · 05/09/2022 14:28

Stockings is a lovely idea

WimpoleHat · 05/09/2022 14:31

Agree with a little stocking - shows a lot of thought and care without needing to cost a fortune.

NiqueNique · 05/09/2022 14:31

Stockings are also good because if in the future that becomes the way you do it every year, it means you can pick little things up throughout the year in sales and at good prices when you have a few extra pounds and then you’ll have plenty by the time Christmas rolls around.

Also if they don’t have many interests/hobbies/etc then almost everyone likes a stocking full of treats.

Kendodd · 05/09/2022 14:33

Perhaps more importantly, where are they going for Christmas? Could you invite them?

Whataretheodds · 05/09/2022 14:36

Stockings is a lovely idea.

That and time, and attention. Great to invite them for Christmas, or a meal at another time, if you can. They may not realise at this point how much they need older adult support.

Hillrunning · 05/09/2022 14:42

Will they be spending Christmas with you? Perhaps jsut have an honest conversation with them about what they would like Christmas to be this year. It might be that there is a particular food their mum made or a tradition they would like carried on rather than a gift? Or they might want to sleep right the way through.

HideousKinky · 05/09/2022 14:43

Are you their only family now OP? Will they be spending Christmas with you?

CrapBucket · 05/09/2022 15:00

God those poor lads, I feel so sad for them. And OP I am very sorry for your losses too.

Stocking is lovely idea. I also think a home made Christmas cake is a really nice gift (if they like raisins etc). Do they have Christmas lights?

I hope you all have the best Christmas possible in the circumstances xxx

bestbefore · 05/09/2022 15:06

If you want a gift how about a winter car kit for the boy with the car? like windscreen scraper, maybe mini first aid kit, torch? Stocking type stuff but a bit more useful?

User287264 · 05/09/2022 15:15

I'd go for nice chocolate, fancy coffee beans if they're coffee drinkers, maybe a decent thermal coffee mug, a little Christmas decoration.

I would stay away from photos or mementoes, just buy small things that show you're thinking of them.

You're really kind to be thinking about them

Original poster
Nidan2Sandan · 05/09/2022 16:08

HideousKinky · 05/09/2022 14:43

Are you their only family now OP? Will they be spending Christmas with you?

I'm the only local family. My other sister lives abroad and my Mum lives a couple of hours away.

My sister is visiting over the xmas break and staying at their house, so we will invite them all to my house. Usually the older nephew refuses, he has SEN and hates being around people but I will continue offering. The younger one I imagine will come, he loves a good cooked roast (as long as he isnt the one doing the cooking 😆)

They're both very independent, their Mum worked a lot and spent a lot of free time with her boyfriend so it wasnt unusual for the boys to spend xmas day alone by choice. But I just think waking up to no presents will be too much of a change for them. The younger nephew always had a list of things he asked my sister for which would run into several hundred pounds worth of stuff 🤣

OP posts:
Hillrunning · 05/09/2022 17:23

How about you talk to the rest of the family and all club together? If you could get to £40 or 50 you will have a wider choice.

ColouringPencils · 05/09/2022 17:30

Maybe your sister could go in with you and together you could get them a joint gift of a new computer game (about £40-50) with some chocolates/ other nice Christmassy nibbles.

AnnaMagnani · 05/09/2022 17:37

My DM went through a phase of doing an advent calendar with a present for every day of December.

None of the presents was anything special and a lot focussed on day to day stuff - so things like a chocolate bar, a magazine, a packet of binbags, a pair of socks, a tree decoration. I think she was pretty desperate by present 24

However it was incredibly thoughtful and a lot of fun doing something everyday. Would something like that work, possibly between you and your sister?

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 05/09/2022 17:40

I had lost both parents by the time I was 28 and I don't miss the Xmas gifts I miss the traditions and the care.

If you are feeling upset you know that if you go to your mum you'll be sat down with a cup of tea, given a cuddle, some advice, have a meal cooked for you.

On Xmas morning, no matter how old you are, you'll get a call or if you are at your parents house there will be something silly like a stocking with a satsuma and some monkey nuts, or crumpets shaped like Xmas trees.

Could you do something like that, invite them to stay at yours so they wake up and get to have the family traditions?

Favouritefruits · 05/09/2022 17:48

I think a simple stocking each would be nice, a can of beer, sweets, chocolates, pair of socks, shower gel and a silly toy. It’s the small things like the stocking at Christmas they will miss and appreciate more than a aftershave set it similar, it shows thought and can be under £15.

Original poster
Nidan2Sandan · 05/09/2022 19:23

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 05/09/2022 17:40

I had lost both parents by the time I was 28 and I don't miss the Xmas gifts I miss the traditions and the care.

If you are feeling upset you know that if you go to your mum you'll be sat down with a cup of tea, given a cuddle, some advice, have a meal cooked for you.

On Xmas morning, no matter how old you are, you'll get a call or if you are at your parents house there will be something silly like a stocking with a satsuma and some monkey nuts, or crumpets shaped like Xmas trees.

Could you do something like that, invite them to stay at yours so they wake up and get to have the family traditions?

My other sister will be staying at their house with her 4 kids from 23rd to 27th Dec so they'll get plenty of crazy christmas fun (and possibly crave peace and quiet 😄)

We'll invite everyone to mine on xmas day and/or boxing day as my mum is staying with us anyway and we have the bigger house. Will see us at over 20 people in my house though 😳

I suppose I just feel guilty. They're used to gifts like £100 headphones, new phones, laptops etc. I will take the advice on lots of little bits, I'm just worried it'll be underwhelming and make the loss of their Mum even more obvious.

OP posts: