Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

DD5 - questioning Father Christmas' existence

40 replies

Throwawaytoday · 29/08/2022 23:27

I worked out that FC didn't exist age about 5 - my parents did all they could to make Christmas magic, and they certainly didn't tell me - but even at that age I was a complete cynic.

This week DD has been questioning it - last week it was the Tooth Fairy, and she just said "mummy, I know the tooth fairy is just you and dad!" I queried how she 'knew' this and she said that "if something doesn't make sense, it's probably a lie". Fair.

Today:

DD: "tell me the truth does Father Christmas exist?"
Me: "what do you think, I mean, you met him last year, did he feel like the real Santa?"
DD: "well yes, but it could have been an actor"
Me: "well Christmas is the most magical time of year, so if there are magical things, Christmas is the time to expect them".

Question: do I tell her, yes, she's right - and try to bring her into keeping the secret from all her pals. Or do I bare-faced lie to her to keep a little bit more magic alive for a little longer?

Notably: though I worked it out very young, I still LOVED and continue to LOVE Christmas, it really IS magic to me, even aged 44.

OP posts:
Starlight86 · 30/08/2022 12:40

AlternativelyWired · 30/08/2022 12:35

I still believe and I'm 46.

Are you my mum 👀

beachcitygirl · 30/08/2022 12:45

Play her the audio of the New York Times editorial letter from Virginia "yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus"

ErrolTheDragon · 30/08/2022 12:46

My dd started to be sceptical when she was 5, and had clocked that there were multiple Santas grottoes, and there was a different one in the place we went to from the year before.But she still wanted to play along with the game, so she came up with a solution - there's only ever one real santa at a time, who does all the work on Xmas Eve. The others are all retired Santas.Grin
By the next year she knew it was all made up, but was very happy to keep the secret and not spoil other children's enjoyment.

1982mommaof4 · 30/08/2022 13:10

Clever girl! Please don't tell her! Mine nearly 16 and I will never admit it (he obviously knows) but the word will never leave my lips

Whatthetrolley · 30/08/2022 21:13

I've got the opposite issue, eldest starts at secondary school next week and still believes. There was a discussion in his class in Year 4 where he stood his ground and listed the reasons he was real, including some of my amazing Christmas Eve work! And refused to believe his class mates. Even today his younger brother mentioned getting something for Christmas that he was originally going to use his birthday money for. And when I said we'll I hope you save the money, the eldest asked why, surely Father Christmas pays for the presents (yes I know, that's another thing I didn't think of 9 years ago!) so I'm a bit stuffed too 🤦‍♀️

SenecaFallsRedux · 30/08/2022 21:21

Your child is developing a valuable skill that will help her entire life.

This. I think it's more important to encourage critical thinking than to perpetuate a myth. Lots of people, children included, enjoy Christmas without believing in Santa.

MsTSwift · 30/08/2022 22:19

I’m sorry but the child starting secondary saying he is a believer is having you on!

beachcitygirl · 31/08/2022 08:34

Whatthetrolley · 30/08/2022 21:13

I've got the opposite issue, eldest starts at secondary school next week and still believes. There was a discussion in his class in Year 4 where he stood his ground and listed the reasons he was real, including some of my amazing Christmas Eve work! And refused to believe his class mates. Even today his younger brother mentioned getting something for Christmas that he was originally going to use his birthday money for. And when I said we'll I hope you save the money, the eldest asked why, surely Father Christmas pays for the presents (yes I know, that's another thing I didn't think of 9 years ago!) so I'm a bit stuffed too 🤦‍♀️

Your oldest is having you on & quite manipulately too. I'd be nipping that in the bud. Entitled little shit.

abovedecknotbelow · 31/08/2022 08:40

Whatthetrolley · 30/08/2022 21:13

I've got the opposite issue, eldest starts at secondary school next week and still believes. There was a discussion in his class in Year 4 where he stood his ground and listed the reasons he was real, including some of my amazing Christmas Eve work! And refused to believe his class mates. Even today his younger brother mentioned getting something for Christmas that he was originally going to use his birthday money for. And when I said we'll I hope you save the money, the eldest asked why, surely Father Christmas pays for the presents (yes I know, that's another thing I didn't think of 9 years ago!) so I'm a bit stuffed too 🤦‍♀️

In exactly the same position with DTs, going into y7, and they're either playing a very good long game to get more presents or they genuinely still believe.

Babdoc · 31/08/2022 08:51

In a sense, Santa Claus is - or rather was - real. He was St Nicholas, the Bishop of Smyrna, and lived from 270AD to 343AD.
He threw bags of gold coins through poor families’ open windows or down their chimneys, so they could afford a dowry for their daughters to marry.
So you are not lying when you tell your DC he is real.
As a Christian, it’s easy when the DC get old enough to question the Santa stuff, to point out that the real meaning (and whole point) of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Christ - hence the name - the greatest gift ever given to the whole of humankind by God.

LaAlouette · 31/08/2022 09:01

For kids there isn't a hard line between truth and fantasy the way there is for adults, so you don't have to pretend he's literally real. You just say something like 'he's not real like you and me, he's magic'. That satisfies them for a couple of years. Then they ask if it's you who puts the presents in the stocking and the game is up - you have to come clean at that point! But they will often to continue to pretend to believe anyway :)

motherofawhirlwind · 31/08/2022 09:05

Mine worked it out quite young (7, I think) but still loved to go and see Santa, left out notes and a mince pie, wanted to do breakfast with Santa etc for years afterwards. It helped that her primary school somehow had the bigger kids absolutely under control and they all kept the magic alive for the little ones. I think the Head would work out who knew and bribe them Grin

I remember one of her non school friends asking her if she believed at about 9 and she just said "I don't want to talk about it, thank you" and changed the subject.

FinallyHere · 31/08/2022 09:59

countrygirl99 · 30/08/2022 12:06

Your child is developing a valuable skill that will help her entire life. Bring her in to the secret, make it fun for her to play along with the believers yo give them pleasure. Make it a point of pride for her to be sceptical but kind. Show her you are proud both of her working it out and going along with the magic for others benefit. If you have younger DC let her help make things like reindeer tracks etc.

This ^

Floralnomad · 31/08/2022 10:06

We only ever did FC as a fantasy type figure with ours , we still went on a FC visit , Christmas was and still is magical ( they are adult now) . Both of ours love Christmas and always have , it was never reliant on FC to make it so . AFAIK neither of them ever went to school and said anything

ErrolTheDragon · 31/08/2022 10:30

In a sense, Santa Claus is - or rather was - real. He was St Nicholas, the Bishop of Smyrna, and lived from 270AD to 343AD.

We got taught about him in Sunday school, probably school assemblies too. It didn't harm 'the magic of Christmas', though I suppose it wasn't so overdone then with parents setting up fake evidence (hoof prints etc) of a visit other than the empty stocking being filled.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page