Page 2 | Want, need, wear, read

Irritatedmum · 2022-08-15T09:54:50+00:00

I’m trying to focus my gift buying this year - partly so my kids don’t get too much, partly because of money. Does anyone use a list like something they want, need, wear, read? Or do you have other ones? I’m thinking of adding ‘something to do’ as well like making a cinema ticket as a promise of a trip.

mam0918 · 16/08/2022 11:54

ShowOfHands · 16/08/2022 11:46

All gifts should be wants

I disagree entirely. I have always loved receiving things I need. I needed a new hoover one year (mine blew up on Dec 1st) and my brother and parents clubbed together to get one. This year, my brother knows I'm short of a piece of camping equipment and has said he'll buy one for me for Christmas. It really makes me happy to receive something I know I'll get lots and lots of use from and will feel grateful every time I use it. My mum bought a peg bag and pegs for me one year and I was jolly happy!

My dc are the same. DS said only recently that he'd be gutted not to get socks and pants for Christmas. I mean, new pants. They feel great don't they?

We buy wants as well of course but isn't the line between want/need a blurry one anyway?

but you WANTED the camping thing etc...

Adults want and get excited over really wierd stuff but no 6 year old is asking instead of minecraft can I just have new school shoes because mine are getting tatty where as an adult saying instead of a new Alexa (my mother buys every amazon gadget for people automatically, we dont like amazon or gadgets) can I have these winter boot Ive had my eye on isnt wierd.

stargirl1701 · 16/08/2022 11:56

Ah, we don't use it as a device to budget though.

DD2 is getting the LEGO set (£40), horse riding helmet (£120), Pony Club jacket (£40) and Yoto card (£10). So £210 in gifts.

For me, it's about reducing the amount of 'stuff' both for the planet and for my sanity in our house.

mam0918 · 16/08/2022 11:56

SleepingStandingUp · 16/08/2022 11:49

Ok so o combined all the lists. I'm thinking for DS, 7,

Want - something off his endless list (£20)
Wear - sonic clothes (£10)
Read - something Dav Pilkey wrote (£7)
Make - lego (£5)
Do - theatre tickets (£20)
Share - something inexpensive like bubbles (£100)
Feed - popcorn maker (£15)
Warm - pikachu onsie (£5)
Love - Dogman plushie (£15)

Meh, that didn't really help cut costs

bubbles like you blow? £100 must be a lifetime supply lol

Starship951 · 16/08/2022 12:01

I think I've always done this without realising.
They always get an item of clothing they'll like, like a Nike hoodie or something. Book - always. Often a set. Want used to be Lego or some toy. Now it's usually an Xbox game. Need was usually stationary, socks and pants. And yes to eat. Always a chocolate orange and some other bits.

Spacerader · 16/08/2022 12:03

I'm another one who really finds this rhyme grating. I dont know why, but it jusy seems to come across as a pretentious mumsnet thing.

I agree with pp's all gifts should be wants. Granted mu dc still may get essentials at Christmas but they are usually the nicer ones. Eg
Dd may get VS underwear instead.

Floralnomad · 16/08/2022 12:06

Sisisimone · 15/08/2022 16:31

All gifts should be wants... if they arent wanted they arent a gift and if they are needed they are a requirement that you have to provide so not a gift

Completely agree with this. Can't bear this twee poem, really grates on me for some reason maybe because it just sounds really joyless

Completely agree . If people want to cut down the amount of presents just buy less but at least make them things your children will love .

MrsMitford3 · 16/08/2022 12:21

I'm so glad I'm the only one to not like/use this "twee poem"

I find it so joyless and a bit like box ticking or a "to do" list.
I love Christmas and this feels so soulless to me.

I love buying presents-just not adhering to this list-I have never heard of it in real life- @Spacerader I totally agree it seems a pretentious MN think-very self congratulatory and smug...

MrsMitford3 · 16/08/2022 12:22

*thing

ShowOfHands · 16/08/2022 12:22

mam0918 · 16/08/2022 11:54

but you WANTED the camping thing etc...

Adults want and get excited over really wierd stuff but no 6 year old is asking instead of minecraft can I just have new school shoes because mine are getting tatty where as an adult saying instead of a new Alexa (my mother buys every amazon gadget for people automatically, we dont like amazon or gadgets) can I have these winter boot Ive had my eye on isnt wierd.

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You've missed my point. I was responding to pp who said only buy wants. I AND my dc like to receive things we need as well as things we want. I didn't say buy only things people need and I acknowledged the blurred line between want and need. That exists for me and my dc.

mam0918 · 16/08/2022 13:06

ShowOfHands · 16/08/2022 12:22

You've missed my point. I was responding to pp who said only buy wants. I AND my dc like to receive things we need as well as things we want. I didn't say buy only things people need and I acknowledged the blurred line between want and need. That exists for me and my dc.

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The PP WAS me and its you that missed the point.

You 'completely disagreed' with my statement that a gift should be something you 'want' and then listed a bunch of things you wanted and got as examples... thats agreeing with me.

No one said everything has to be orniment with zero practical purpose and I have no idea how you have twisted it into that.

If your 5 year old really wants a disney snow white costume or your 13 year old really wants an oodie or your 17 year old want airmax's then its fine gifting those because they are wanted but buying your 5 year old some hey dougie PJs because 'they like hey dougie' and 'could do with some new PJ' but they didnt really want new PJ just to tick the 'wear' box is wrong.

It our job as parents to provide those PJs anyway regardless of whats on them, they aren't gifts (and Im not against PJs at xmas either, my kids get a new pair on xmas eve so they have something new to wear to bed its just not passed off as a 'gift for them').

SleepingStandingUp · 16/08/2022 13:42

mam0918 · 16/08/2022 11:56

bubbles like you blow? £100 must be a lifetime supply lol

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Oh god that was meant to be £3

Dreamwhisper · 17/08/2022 09:39

You do what's right for you OP. I like some extended versions, I think I've seen one that had 0 things which sounded great

Dreamwhisper · 17/08/2022 09:40

Dreamwhisper · 17/08/2022 09:39

You do what's right for you OP. I like some extended versions, I think I've seen one that had 0 things which sounded great

Oops I mean 10 things, 100 things might be a bit too miserly

Dreamwhisper · 17/08/2022 09:40

0 things* oh god what's happening

Dreamwhisper · 17/08/2022 09:59

mam0918 · 16/08/2022 13:06

The PP WAS me and its you that missed the point.

You 'completely disagreed' with my statement that a gift should be something you 'want' and then listed a bunch of things you wanted and got as examples... thats agreeing with me.

No one said everything has to be orniment with zero practical purpose and I have no idea how you have twisted it into that.

If your 5 year old really wants a disney snow white costume or your 13 year old really wants an oodie or your 17 year old want airmax's then its fine gifting those because they are wanted but buying your 5 year old some hey dougie PJs because 'they like hey dougie' and 'could do with some new PJ' but they didnt really want new PJ just to tick the 'wear' box is wrong.

It our job as parents to provide those PJs anyway regardless of whats on them, they aren't gifts (and Im not against PJs at xmas either, my kids get a new pair on xmas eve so they have something new to wear to bed its just not passed off as a 'gift for them').

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I do and don't agree.

My list that I work hard on throughout the year is focused on proper gifts that the DC want. I have a limit of how many things of this nature I like to buy - it's usually around 10, with 2 - 3 bigger presents and some medium/smaller presents.

However, I like to (I know it's perhaps frowned upon but..) bulk up their pile by buying them nice versions of stuff they need. In my experience they enjoy these gifts too; for example one of my boy's favourite things last year was a bottle of Spiderman bubble bath shaped like Spiderman. It's a tradition from my own childhood that they get new pajamas and I always loved them as a DC.

I would not buy these things at the cost of buying the gifts I know they really want (unless perhaps I was really struggling) but I don't see any issue at all in buying those more practical things. My DC would not receive more "proper gifts" if I bought them less "need" stuff as they do have a lot of stuff and I don't want or need to buy for them for the sake of it.

Dreamwhisper · 17/08/2022 10:27

Irritatedmum · 16/08/2022 11:39

I’ve never used the poem or anything before, and I can see what people mean about ‘just getting them what they want’. I’ve always done that, just picked up anything they like, and 1) they get just too much stuff and 2) we can’t afford it this year. I doubt anyone can afford to do what they usually do this year. It would all still be special things that they want but I’m trying to find a way to make it varied and interesting rather than just 10 toys.

And absolutely, it's looking doubtful I will afford what I usually spend on the DC.

I've redone my list and focused on the stuff I definitely want to get them. The main things I've cut down are the stocking fillers as I'm a bit of a stocking snob and they have big ones that are more akin to Santa sacks. That has been a big weight off and the truth is at their age, they will enjoy the small toys I consider "tat" just as much if not more than the fancy John Lewis and Rex London stuff I have been buying in previous years.

On top of the key things I definitely want them to have (and I have outsourced some of this to their nan) I've swapped some more expensive "wouldn't it be nice to get them that" presents for things like packs of cake mixes which they love and I don't often buy as I bake from scratch, for example.

Yummyplumthanksmum · 29/08/2022 11:14

I like the idea of 'want need do read' which someone suggested above.

I have been vaguely keeping to 'want, need, wear, do'.

Want = main present from FC
Need = maybe a new backpack or something useful but nice
Wear = this could be a dressing up costume or some jewellery (my daughters are 9, 3 and 1)
Do = we have SO many books we can't realistically get any more. So 'do' would either be a game, toy or activity set.

I might have a rethink based on your ideas here, though! As I'm not sure they need more clothes and something like 'share' or 'make' might work out better...