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Christmas

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Original poster

How many gifts to you let your DC ask for?

62 replies

Dreamwhisper · 05/08/2022 11:55

I love to plan for Christmas (hence posting this in August Smile )

However that means I spend a lot of time and energy researching presents that I know my DC will love and use. This will take up a fair bit of my Christmas budget for their gifts.

How do you balance this though, with the inevitable Christmas wish list? Don't have to worry so much about the little one but older 2 will be 5 and 7 this year so definitely in list writing territory.

Is asking them to wish for 1 thing too stingy? 3 things with the caveat that Santa can't guarantee everything? Just sack all my planning off and let them write a list?

OP posts:
Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 05/08/2022 19:31

We do stockings from Santa. He has to take children to all the children in the world so he couldn’t manage any more. I talk about only wishing for things you really want and when chatting I ask questions to try and determine order of preference.

LittleHeapOfBooks · 05/08/2022 19:39

They can request 1 thing and if it isn't something that is actually an option (Be it due to cost or wings so they can fly) then they're told to pick something else. Then they'll get some surprises too.
'Santa' always brings a stocking full of surprises.

Original poster
Dreamwhisper · 05/08/2022 20:44

mam0918 · 05/08/2022 18:03

As for the 'from santa' we do a santa sacks and it includes 12 cheap 'classic' toys like a yoyo, skipping rope, football, tamagotchi, hula hoop, dominoes etc... and always one 'noisy' thing (like recorder, harmonica, whistle) that we wouldnt buy so its definately 'from santa' lol.

it costs next to nothing really, as most 'classic' things can be found in poundland etc... and some how we have never yet ran out of new things to put in there.

That's very cute Halo

I love the idea of making it clearly not from parents! I will definitely adopt this for the stocking Smile

OP posts:
FilthyforFirth · 05/08/2022 21:48

Santa brings a stocking and the main present under the tree. I buy early for DS1 as I know what he wants and can steer his list around what I already have. I tell him to put everything he wants on his list but Santa wont get everything from it and I make sure the biggest thing we get. Like others the rest of the list is farmed out to family.

DS2 is only 1 so doesnt get the concept yet, need to keep appearances for DS1 though!!

mamatoTails · 05/08/2022 21:53

Mine have never written a list for Father Christmas.

We buy the presents because we work hard, and want them to understand things cost money. (We then send them to the
North Pole and if they've made the good list, FC will deliver them!)

So, we don't do lists. Just chat about what they might like, would they really play with it, wear it etc.

They love the surprise of opening their gifts, and have usually forgotten about gifts we discussed by that point!

GretaVanFleet · 06/08/2022 06:10

mam0918 · 05/08/2022 18:03

As for the 'from santa' we do a santa sacks and it includes 12 cheap 'classic' toys like a yoyo, skipping rope, football, tamagotchi, hula hoop, dominoes etc... and always one 'noisy' thing (like recorder, harmonica, whistle) that we wouldnt buy so its definately 'from santa' lol.

it costs next to nothing really, as most 'classic' things can be found in poundland etc... and some how we have never yet ran out of new things to put in there.

Lovely idea except for the noisy part. I’d give it until lunchtime and then the recorder would accidentally find itself in the bin bag with the wrapping paper 😂

Doingmybest12 · 06/08/2022 06:23

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mam0918 · 06/08/2022 16:50

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My kids have never really hated anything, to hate a gift is a very adult emotion.

Its also odd to put pressure on children to act fake, polite is one thing but fake is wierd.

I think kids are only 'disappointed' if the gift they 'dont like' is one of very few gifts (say they get 1 gifts and its a dud their going to focus on it a lot more than if they got 10 gifts and 9 are great).

I also know my kids well enough not to get them stuff they would hate, thinking back to childhood I can only remember 1 'dud' gift (and it didnt really matter). It was a doll but I was 10 at the time and hadn't played with doll for about 7 years at that point but it came randonly from a distant family member who hadnt seen me in the last 7 years.

The best gifts I have ever gotton in my life where suprises, I'm not 'all seeing' so I cant possibly know about every great thing out there that I would want if I knew it existed.

RicStar · 06/08/2022 16:59

Mine can ask for up to 3 things in their final list, they know they won't get everything, I like to see them trying to decide which items they most want, there is often a surprise that I wouldn't have thought of for them especially from dd who is hard to buy for so I find it useful but very often I have bought most of their gifts already as they tend to write it mid December, believing in the magic of the elves to provide!

Original poster
Dreamwhisper · 06/08/2022 19:55

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This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

That's a very surprising attitude and if you don't mind me saying, quite an unusual one. I've never ever heard of a child having anxiety over opening presents and as a PP said, I had loads of gifts as a child and cannot remember disliking a single one.

There are loads of reasons someone might want to tailor the experience of writing a wish list -

  1. the dilemma I'm having in my OP where as ages change from being very little and having no requests, to having loads of thoughts about what they want (including stuff they've just seen on tv in the last 2 minutes and now it's their favourite thing ever), so how to balance this with actual requests
  2. managing expectations and having a system/tradition in place that is repeatable
  3. discouraging asking for anything and everything in order to make them more mindful of what they actually want
  4. for me personally, and again pretty much what my OP was, I have a limited budget and am careful about filling up house space. I like to live mindfully and want to be careful what we're spending and bringing into the house
We all do Christmas differently. Christmas is really important to me, it's a big deal in my home as I love the magic. I'm always trying to get it to feel right to me and the gift buying element is something I always feel guilty one way or another about so far. I also simply like hearing about how other people do things in other households.

I do think when the DC are older it will be easier but at the moment I want to figure out what our traditions will be as I want to keep them consistent.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dreamwhisper · 06/08/2022 20:02

I like the number 3, it feels like a good number of things to think about especially for younger children.

And yes to surprises! I'm one of those people who doesn't like to only buy toys for Christmas. I don't know why but I feel bad about the idea of them writing a list of say 10 toys, and they do get 10 presents, but only 3 of them are toys. My gift pattern is quite formulaic as I loved getting a range of things as a child myself.

As well as toys I'd always get new pajamas, and beautiful special books. I want to leave "room" for such things. I keep going overboard and feeling guilty

OP posts:
Doingmybest12 · 06/08/2022 23:10

Blimey! Think I got the wrong end of the stick here. Apologies for that.

Looneytune253 · 06/08/2022 23:11

Ours only asked for one. Santa only brought one. The rest were from us and were guided by things they'd shown an interest in

shivawn · 07/08/2022 12:13

CrotchetyQuaver · 05/08/2022 12:22

Back in the days of the Argos catalogue, mine used to go through it and come up with a completely unreasonable (lol) list of what they wanted. That then got whittled down by them to £100 worth of stuff. I used to tell them £100 was Father Christmas' budget for them. They were happy to believe that.

@CrotchetyQuaver Ah, this brings me back to my own childhood, going through the Argos catalogue and writing down anything that caught my eye! 😅

FoolShapeHeart · 07/08/2022 20:04

Mine gets a stocking and one wrapped gift from FC. My original plan was to choose surprise gift, but DC supposed me a couple of days before Christmas with their form statement that Santa was bringing a specific toy (not what I'd bought!)
Since then, DC tells me what they'd like as their wrapped gift, we talk about it in advance and at this point DC is still young enough that I can set expectations and influence them away from anything unrealistic. I don't ever promise that's what they'll get, but it's usually around £10-15 so I do my best to get what they've requested.

ThreeRingCircus · 08/08/2022 11:03

I'm another one that says only stockings are from Father Christmas and bigger gifts are from friends and family. So DDs may give me some ideas and know they're just suggestions, they don't write a physical list.

I also put things in the stocking that are very clearly not from us (agree with sweets and slime as good examples) and DDs are always delighted with my mock-horror. An idea I got from here last year and went down really well was buying some sweets and chocolates from the World Food aisle in the supermarket that Father Christmas had obviously picked up from his travels around the globe. DDs absolutely loved it and were amazed so I'll do that one again.

bluesky45 · 08/08/2022 11:08

Ours pick one thing to ask Santa for. Santa doesn't bring electronics, animals or anything too big to fit on the sleigh. They ask for other things because they know family buy them gifts but anything they ask for is not guaranteed.

HelloAllll · 08/08/2022 11:11

Lots and lots - that way I atleast have a few presents to work with after removing the ridiculous. Current list for christmas is a giraffe, a koala, a crocodile, some sheep and a pig 😳

Becky6758 · 08/08/2022 18:00

I get mine to write a list… they can put as much as they want on it.

They put what they want the most at the top and work down to want they want the least.

me I normally always buy the top 5 items but I usually buy everything on their list as half of it is cheap things like a stitch onesie etc

psuedocream3 · 09/08/2022 10:48

I get them to write their Christmas lists to Father Christmas by October, that gives me enough time to pick what I thik is suitable from the lists and find them on offer. I gave up buying early for them when they were past toddler age as their friends/adverts haven't told them what they must have toys or gifts that they want/need yet. They may get a few bits I think they will like outsided of that but stockings are the surprise bits really.

1stTimeMama · 09/08/2022 17:13

They can ask for as many as they want, I don't limit it, but they know they won't get everything they ask for. I mix in things they asked for, especially their main gift, with things I see for them that I think they'll love.

CometCupidDonnerBlitzen · 10/08/2022 08:43

Our present breakdown goes like this:

The elf leaves them a box on Christmas Eve with PJs, a bath bomb, a book and something chocolatey. They love this bit because they bloody love the elf. He'll vanish as if by magic just as it starts to get dark as he needs to get home to help Santa.

They are allowed to suggest 3 things to Santa in their letters which are usually sent late November. The only rules are that Santa won't bring pets or electronics. He also would never bring something mummy and daddy wouldn't approve of. We've found these requests tend to be pretty reasonable. We then usually add a few small things to fill the sacks out (think selections boxes etc).

We do stockings (although I wish we hadn't started tbh). It's a hangover from my childhood but it could easily have been wrapped into the sacks. Stockings for us are small things like notebooks, pens, socks, chocolate coins etc. Santa is very kind and usually puts Mummy and Daddy a nice drink in theirs for later. ;) We do these first thing as we come downstairs and then we make a cuppa and some breakfast before starting on the rest. It gives the kids something to look through while we do boring adult stuff.

Then if there were any big requests we take care of them and add a few extras we know they would like but wouldn't think to ask for. So everything else is from us. There will also be presents from family under the tree that we scatter in as we go.

Brogues · 10/08/2022 12:48

Three here. Sometimes it has been quite random like a chocolate orange or a surprise but those three things are the gifts that Santa will try his best to bring for them.

Heathofhares · 10/08/2022 12:53

Mine can put on as many things as they want. However we are very clear that it’s a wish list not an expectation list. We then select things off the list to suggest to family members who ask for ideas. Then we get one big present for us. One medium present from father Xmas and also a stocking from FC. Seems to work for us

Rupertgrintismyguiltypleasure · 14/08/2022 22:42

They tell me what they want, usually emphasising on what they want the moSt and I Work from that. ItS better when the give loads of ideaS just in case something else backfires. DS 14 gets harder as he usually asks for maximum of 1 thing so I’m left clutching at straws for other things... was so much easier when they were younger