Is anyone else already worrying about the cost?

[crymeout]

I just want to say before I start that whilst it may seem self indulgent to worry about affording Christmas right now, I've also been affected by the cost of living in many other ways so this is just an additional worry, not my main one. I'm not being insensitive in these tough times.

I like to plan gifts now and start actually shopping beginning of November time. However, I've calculated the costs and even if I saved £50 a week between now to the second week of November, my budget is lower than usual. I also can't afford to save anywhere near £50 a week, I'll struggle to do that in a month. Is anyone else in the same situation and if so, what are you planning to do? The people I buy for aren't optional, there are nine of them in total, plus there's food and the other usual Christmas costs. I usually love it but I'm just worried about affording it

There’s already a thread a little bit further down the page about this, full of people in the same position, you’re not on your own. You might find a few ideas on there, or at least feel some solidarity.

Are any of these 9 people adults? If so, talk to them. No reasonable adult would ever want a present if it put someone in financial hardship.

Yes you can buy less. Nothing for adults and small but thoughtful things for dcs. Anyone who expects you to buy gifts when you can't afford it is an idiot

Everyone is optional, you should be able to be straight with them and explain it exactly how you have said on this post. Any normal human being would understand the pressure that is causing you.
I am sure you'll find they would be equally relieved to be told it,
No one should feel obliged to spend the same amount as they always have in these awful times

You don't have to but presents for anyone except maybe your own children. There is plenty of time to tell everyone.

On my side of the family we stopped doing presents years ago. On my DHs side they do a Secret Santa type thing with a £5 limit, so just a small token.

I don't really celebrate Christmas though (not a Christian) so find it easy to avoid all the societal pressures.

I would suggest to adults a secret Santa with a £30 limit and for children M & S do some lovely children's toys for a £5 that look more expensive than they cost .

Don't be worried about suggesting a more cost effective Christmas as you'll probably find others are in the same boat and are grateful you raised the issue

Who are the 9 people?

Your own young childen you probably 'have' to aquire somethings for, but you can buy well within an £800 budget (I spend less than half of that on my 3 kids and food doesnt cost anywhere near £400).

You dont HAVE to buy for anyone else but lets say:

DP maybe set a budget like £10 if its important to you and to set an example of parents giving and recieving to young kids.

Maybe you buy for your parents, go thoughtful rather than expensive... maybe make them a stocking like what they got as kids.

Just explain to sibling that things are tight, most are fine with it or just buy a cheap thoughtful token present.

Nieces/Nephews once again cheap token gifts if you really must.

Friends - honestly dont bother, what fully grown adults are still doing this?

I couldn't agree more with all the posters above saying to raise the issue and that no one would want to see you struggle.

If, however, you really can't do without buying them presents, I would start now and spread the cost by looking out for bargains and following the threads on here. I would urge some restraint, in that the bargain threads can be addictive and it can be easy to end up with a whole load of stuff that was "cheap" but not actually wanted or needed. There are also charity shops and ebay, please don't be afraid to use either. Say your normal budget per person is £50, for me personally I think it's better to buy one nice thing for £20 than 4 x £5 but that's just a personal opinion. I would also, personally, resist the idea of hampers because I think they end up costing more in the end and there's the faff (and tat) of what to put them in.

There's no one size fits all to presents but you may be able to find an old copy of a favourite book, a cutting of a rare plant, an old advert showing someone's first car etc that can be low in cost but high in emotional value.

I want to stress again that there is no shame in your financial situation and I think you would find everyone very understanding and quite possibly relieved themselves if you asked to do no presents/secret santa/a coffee and cake together rather than presents.

Now is a prefect time to suggest no present. Plenty of notice for people.

Christmas is as expensive as you make it.

We do handmade cards and buy a orchids/boxes of chocolates as gifts for just the closest extended family.

Presents just for neices/nephews and our best friends children too.

When you say you have to buy gifts for 9, why do you? Are they children? If they are adults then simply say you can't afford it this year. I would hate to find out in January someone had put themselves into debt to afford to buy me a Christmas gift.

The food needn't cost you any more than usual, it's 1 day with a roast dinner.

Xmas is what you make it. The decorations you already have won't cost anything so putting them up will make it festive. I prioritise nice food at Xmas. I give my adult 3 DC £X each and spend £X on my foster son and each of my 2 dgcs and mil. £X on DH. DH, DC, sonil, mil and 2 dgc also have £X stocking each. So less than £1k. I don't buy for my dear sisters or nephews or nieces anymore as grown up now. I usually send DC home with a little pile of Xmas food each that I know they like, shortbread, Xmas pudding, chocolates, ham, pate, cheeses, mince pies, wine, as I think they will be finding it tight this Xmas. I would not spend more than I could comfortably afford. The only presents you have to buy are for your DC. Even parents can choose not to gift to each other. When my DC were very small I used to give DH a book he already owned that I could wrap up for him so children would see him unwrap something. He did same with me wrap up some of my earnings or something children would not recognise. We wanted everything we did have to be for our children. I am doing a massive clear out of foster sons clothing and have found 3 suits in various ages I think I am going to put them on eBay and anything I make will add to foster sons gifts. He has to have more as comes from deprived background.

I love a nice homemade chutney or jam for Christmas and these can be made quite cheaply as token gifts - you can also get marmalade kits which are fab for a thoughtful yet inexpensive present. Otherwise for kids (or even adults), a multipack book from The Works plus a box of Maltesers or a selection box is always good and a nice present!

It would be helpful to know the proportion of adults and children that make up your 9

I am worried as not only will things be more expensive this year but I don't have my usual CB loan credit union lump, so I've thought of a few ideas:

• Start squirreling away long life bits that you would usually buy as part of your Christmas shop. At Christmas I usually buy stuff like nice jam, Whittard's hot chocolates, the spreads that come out in M and S in autumn and winter etc. Even adding 1 thing to your weekly shop will accumulate into a good start. If you have kids you can squirrel away exta treats for over the period.
• Look for creative places to get gifts from. Because we buy so much these days, lots of parents do a pre Christmas toy clear out. So look on FB marketplace, gum tree, free cycle etc.
• Switch up your Christmas dinner menu - We don't even bother with Turkey anymore because the kids like chicken and DP likes red meat.
• Attitude - just make it fun for DC, that's the most important thing! Read and make up stories. Do cheap paper crafts and look for free activities in town centres, community centres etc. Bake cheap Christmas cookies, watch all the Christmas movies etc

This is obviously quite child centric but the premise is largely the same for adults. You can still squirrel stuff away, you can still change your Xmas food menu to accommodate a lower budget, and you can still indulge in lots of low cost Christmassy things that encourage togetherness and fun - Christmas light walks, board games, TV, all that.

I’d be honest with the people you’re buying gifts for (if they’re adults) and say please can we agree that we only exchange small gifts this year. Give people plenty of notice so they haven’t already bought yours.

I am dealing with this by ignoring it for most people. I will get gifts for my dd who will notice - she has asd and associates Christmas with gifts. Other than that, I won't do any gifts. I intend to make this clear to everyone else in my family. I will also say that we don't expect any gifts either!

Do you know what I would LOVE for Christmas? A home made voucher for 2 or 3 hours babysitting. Or for someone to offer to collect my child from school one Friday and look after them till bedtime. Or a voucher for Sunday lunch at someone else's house. Or something. I'ma actually going to ask one or two people who normally buy me a present if I can have this instead. I really, really, really don't need or want any more random scarves/candles/bottles of gin. I really, really do need and want some childcare! Just thought I'd throw this in here in case it's an option. I probably wouldn't spring this on someone as an option, but maybe ask if it would be a welcome present. (There are a few people who might offer to babysit for me who my children DO NOT like to be babysit by!)

This is SUCH a good idea. We have almost no childcare options and 100% no childcare for all 3 DC. Childcare is reserved for very special events. I might suggest to DP that we make each other these vouchers so that we can each get some peace