felt like ghost of christmas past was visiting.

[moljam]

had odd xmas verging on not nice.dh went out on xmas eve and arrived back very very drunk.i was at his mums (been there for hours as we were supposed to be there for family party)he turned up swaying,swearing badly infront of his family including children.then when we returned home he fell asleep on sofa till after children had done santas tray and gone to bed.which makes me sad as i think thats all part of the magic of christmas.christmas morning after dc opened presents he then fell asleep on sofa for hours again.my family arrived he disapeared in kitchen till they went.boxing day we went to my mums,he wouldnt come in at first as we'd had small arguement about his driving.he finally came in and sat in corner ignoring everyone.the reason it upset me so much and reminds me of xmas past is because growing up my dad was an alcholic(he gave up about 1 year 6 months ago),it brought it all back how awful it was with him asleep or drinking whole time and ruining special occasions like xmas and birthdays.and i felt bad for my mum as i finally realised the true extent of how horrible it must of been for her and that while we saw and knew what was going on she really did try to protect us.

feel much better getting that off my chest!!!

So what are you going to do about him?

tbh no idea.
i dont want my children growing up as i did.i did have happy childhood but not in the normal way and i do love my dad dearly,i just hate the drinking.when dh and i got together i said worst thing that he could do was to use alcahol in wrong way.iyswim?

I think you both need to have a talk about this very urgently. Wrong on so many levels including his health.

do you think he'd cut it out completely over christmas if you asked him to?

did your dad just stop or was he given help?

Please try to make him see what he's doing to his children if he keeps this up.

I used to have to listen to my dad drunkenly taking things out of the attic on Xmas eve & then on Xmas day before dinner he went to the pub. We used to eat half cold dinner as we had to prise our dad from the pub before we could eat. Often he would fall asleep in his dinner or would fight with mam whilst we were eating.

Then we had to play silently with our toys as he was asleep on the sofa & we were afraid of waking him & he would return to the pub again.

im not sure if hed not drink over xmas if i asked him even though i broke down when he was sober and told him what it was like watching my dad like that.
my dad has weekly meeting and goes to gp regulary,im very proud of him.he cant turn back time but hes relising what he missed and is determined to make up for it even if it is through his grandchildren not children

i have a bit of a problem with drink. i can leave it but tend to go ott when i start. i did take the decision to not drink at all at christmas (though made up for it on boxing day) really it's a decision he has to make himself - but he would feel so much better if he could enjoy the day being on top form and just not drink for a few days at least.

good for your dad, do you think he'd have a word with him?

that may well be the exact thing he needs!thats a fantastic idea.i will ask my dad.thats is a really good idea.

im not saying i never drink btw,i do go out and get drunk sometimes.i just feel never infront of children and never so they can see me drunk.but i dont have to drink to have good time.

southeastastra are you getting help?

i'm still dithering as to whether i can just leave it for good. christmas time is always the hardest.

but you done well even by not drinking at xmas.it must be very very hard.

i had a massive row with mil about 10 years ago one christmas and vowed never to drink again (on christmas eve/day). have managed to stick to it, but i do find it hard on the days after.

you should be proud still for those 2 days.thats all i wanted from dh,those 2 days!hes on about his 4th tonight since 5pm.