Children had to go to their dads this xmas, said it was his right, do i attract nutters!!

[tinky4]

My husband left a year and a half ago and i was relieved cos he was a bully. So ive divorced him and he hasnt made any real effort with our four little children. Then he insisted that this year that unless he had all the children for christmas he was going to take me to court. So i said of course he can have them and i never thought for one moment that he would, but he did and i knew he was only doing it to hurt me not for the children. Miserable christmas without them, i worked to keep busy but not the same, my baby is only 2. All my friends seem to have partners and husbands and i just feel like i will be on my own forever. When i go out the only men that go near me are either drunk, nutters or players. Friends tell me that im far too pretty and that men dont go near me cos they think im out of their league. What do i do?? dont say internet dating, met a lovely kind chap and then he broke my heart...

Sorry you've not had such a good time or appreciated the peace and quiet or reduction in washing up.

Christmas is only one day in the year. Presumably you have the children most of the rest of the time. There are lots of mums on here who complain that their xh takes no notice of the dc and never takes responsibility for them.

Re attracting a new man: your prettiness or otherwise doesn't have much to do with it, imo. If you don't want to attract a drunk, keep away from where drunks hang out.

You made a bad choice first time round, so you need to think much harder before you let any man into your life now you have 4 young children, don't you?

I'm not suggesting you have to sign up to lifelong celibacy, just not to feel you have to have a partner.

Tinky, your ex sounsd awful, making threats involving your children. I wouldnt be too concerned about finding another partner though.
Why does he threaten to take you to court? Are you worried he will have full custody of the children? If you think he will follow through with his threats you must seek legal advice yourself. Don't allow him to bully you still. I havent had any experience of your predicament but im sure you will get good advice from others who know what you are going through. Take care.

Thankyou for your messages, no my ex husband has no grounds to take my precious children away from me, hes just trying to hurt me and hes succeeding. I do have a fab solicitor but of course everytime i contact him it costs money which is exactly what my ex wants cos it means i have to work even harder. But i do still contact him and get his advise. As for hanging around where drunks go, it was just a birthday drink with a friend and for some reason the one whos most tipsy goes for me, my friends tell me its cos they dont have the courage when they are sober...hehe I will take your advice and im sure when ive moved and my little ones are settled everything will fall into place. Hard at this time of the year when everyone has plans and someone to share it with. Love my children to pieces and they come first everytime but most people have experienced what love can be like and being married to a bully for so long im kind of impatient and i know ive got to stop being.