What do you do when a friend has got a lot of quite big presents for your and your children, but you only got them something very small?

[emkana]

For no other reason other than that you didn't think that you would be giving big stuff?

Would you say anything?

Will be interested in the replies to this one. I asked my friend if we could only exchange small gifts between the dc this year. She said good idea, so I paid approx £10 for each of her dc's presents. My dc this morning unwrapped the present from her and they must have cost at least twice as much. (and when she gave them to me to put under the tree last week she even said 'they are only small')

Don't know what to do. Mention it, or keep stumm?

no - beacsue it';s not how big/small it is or how much it costs thst matters

I might sepnd £6 on friends DC or I might spend 4 times thast - I just think about whether the child will like it or not#

I wouldn;t sy nything

I know walrus, you are right. It just makes me feel guilty. And a bit inadequate perhaps? Stupid, I agree.

I wouldn't say anything and hope that she now understands exactly what you mean by "small".

However, next year you could avoid confusion by raising it with her very informally beforehand and specify an upper spending limit. Alternatively if you are part of a larger shared group of friends, perhaps you could suggest a "Secret Santa", meaning that you'd each only have to buy one present for the child whose name you draw from the hat.

All that aside, there's a fair chance that she won't be thinking twice about it and a genuine word or note of thanks will be worth just as much, if not more. Sit back, relax and enjoy your Christmas

I think you are right. This friend is by nature incredibly generous (not just in terms of materialistic things, but also in terms of friendship and the time she gives to others), whereas I am more reserved both in friendship terms and financial terms. So I think we both bought what we were happy to give to each other's dc!