Actually the worst time of the year?

[noirchatsdeux]

I'm seriously beginning to think this is utterly the worst time of year. Everyone I'm dealing with seems to think it's perfectly acceptable to dump all their woe on me ... so far today I've had -

1. Boyfriend of over a decade whinging about money - he earns 7 times what I do and is acting like he's one foot out of the poor house. I was on the phone with for him for two damn hours and honestly couldn't work out what he was complaining about. Apart from having to pay the standard bills every adult has to pay...

1. Best friend hanging up with me because I won't automatically agree with him that his sister was wrong when they had a squabble in the family chat. I've known him nearly 20 years, he knows full well I'm not a 'yes man'...I was trying to cheer him up, laugh about it and he hangs up on me...

1. Ex husband - who I'm still friends with - being an utter misery because his girlfriend treats him like crap but he hasn't got the guts to say so to her....so whinges to me instead. This has been going on for 8 years and counting...

I had Covid over Christmas and was totally on my own (no family in the UK anyway). I still am. Due to work won't see the boyfriend now until the end of January. I'm also bipolar, diagnosed for over 20 years and am currently suffering from severe depression. All the above people know that, but just don't seem to care ... I honestly don't think I've ever felt more alone in my LIFE.

Hi OP,

I’m really sorry to hear about your Christmas and to top it off you’ve had covid to deal with along with your mental health difficulties.
I started a thread myself a few days ago because I’ve found this Christmas to be one of the worst I’ve ever had. It’s been dreadful in all honesty. I had such high expectations with it being my babies first Christmas and I think that was the start of the pressure building along with other life circumstances adding untold stress.
I’ve decided to write this one off and aim for a much better Christmas next year.

I’m just wondering whether the 3 people in your life detailed in your OP are actually energy drains? I know that might be simplifying things greatly but do you need to re-evaluate these relationships? What positives do they bring to your life when you are going through your own difficulties?
Are you getting support for your mental health? I hope so because it doesn’t sound like these people are offering you any support and they are focused on their own issues.

You are not alone in feeling this way just remember that. I find it helps me to think that whatever I’m going through others have experienced before and got through it. You can get through it too OP.

Christmas and all the expectations just seem to magnify things doesn't it? I am sorry you are having such a tough time of it at the moment.

Thank you both

@Christmas2022MustBeTheBest You aren't wrong, all of the people I've mentioned do tend to be energy drainers. I think the problem is that I've made myself just too available to them, and that they see me as being this strong person who has coped with a lot in the past on my own (true), so I can keep on coping...but I don't think anyone can 100 percent of the time.

My best friend did at least have the grace to ring me back and apologise for 'his girly flounce' (his words). We ended up having a good laugh about it all, which was nice.

I am getting some support with the bipolar, have been for years but of course for the last two years the support available has been minimal...at the moment it's 6 monthly telephone consultations with my psychiatrist. I was supposed to be referred for EDMR therapy at the beginning of 2020 but...covid.

@bloodywhitecat I think expectations around Christmas have got silly now. I don't remember the whole country being quite so 'hysterical' about it back when I was a teenager in the 80s and going forward...I think it's only in the last 20 years or so it's all gone completely over the top. Do we blame social media and the internet? Probably.

I hope you both have a peaceful and happy new year.

Yes absolutely.

It's a very tough time with lots of people.

This time of year has become completely draining.The expense and demands on people to create a fantasy Christmas are really putting a strain on everyone.I loved Christmas twenty five years ago.Now its lost its meaning.I'm glad when it's over.