How to make Christmas and Boxing Day different when it's the same relatives in the same location

[TheOpen]

For various reasons, going forward it will likely be us hosting Christmas now and both my parents and DH parents coming for both days.

Having just done this, it felt exhausting having essentially to repeat the day again on Boxing Day (except gifts) so I'm looking for any tips / ideas / things people do to make Boxing Day feel a bit different to Xmas day. Previously I haven't felt this way as we've gone to different relatives or had one day at mine, one day at parents etc.

For context, it's us and two primary age DC, plus 4 grandparents ranging from 66-85years old with various health issues. The GPs don't know each other very well or have loads in common as only recently all moved to live nearer to us plus the age gap but they're all fairly sociable.

We cooked too much on Xmas day by accident so had the same food twice etc.

For anyone in a similar situation, what do you do to reenergise Boxing Day and make it feel a bit different from Xmas?

Different food 100%!
Also could you maybe go out somewhere on Boxing Day instead? A pub lunch, or a panto or … something?!

Tell us more about what your day is like?

Christmas Day in my house is a bit frenzied - Santa, new toys, visitors, cooking up a storm, the big dinner.

Whereas the next day is much calmer. We have a help yourself breakfast and the adults might sit chatting until lunch time. The dc will play games/watch movies and eat chocolate all morning.

Eventually we stir enough to get lunch together which is always leftovers - some people will reheat a Christmas dinner, others prefer toasted turkey sandwiches. It’s just very calm and low key.

I would have used any left over veg for bubble and squeak breakfast and leftover meat as sandwiches for lunch to solve the food problem.

I would probably find an activity outside the home for boxing day.

We usually go to the cinema on Boxing Day. Always have a curry with all the sides for tea.

Good idea about panto, cinema or pub trip. We need a "thing" to make it feel different and therefore more energised (especially for me and DH who do most of the cooking/running round!). All three of these are options where we live.

Christmasses previously have been separate - my family (with the younger GPs) like to play board games, chat a bit and maybe watch some TV later in the day.

DHs family Xmas was always more lively with lots more people, booze and loudness and silly games and eat eat eat.

I like a bit of both.

I think both sets of GPs are ok with the idea of trying different things now they're away from their respective extended families.

I should add no one sleeps over but they come over around 11am/noon and leave about 8pm.

Funnily enough I did think about panto for Boxing Day but DH wanted to leave the day free this year. We're like zombies today, so worn out lol

Do you have to all see each other both days? Why not see one set of DGPs one day and the others the next?

Personally I would find it a bit full on to be visiting my adult DC & DGC two days running ... maybe that's just me?

@Ragwort you're right, and for my side - the more introverted - one day is plenty if they were to be totally honest.

But DHs side would be really offended by this, they've always seen the Christmas period as time to cram as many people as possible into one house and just let it happen. But obvs now they're older they can't really make it happen but DH has all these fond memories and is working hard to try and keep it going.

Also. Just an observation... I have noticed since they all moved in the last 10 months that now they see the grandkids with the other set of grandparents too there is a little gentle rivalry between the grandmas!! Whilst that's not for me to manage, I am also trying to help them With their relationship if I can as I know both very well - but separately. They're kind hearted, we're lucky to have them, but both are anxious too.

Sounds like you've answered your own question. Next year just have your side over on Christmas Day. His side can come for both, if your husband wants to do that , and then you can do things to make them happy - have a smorgasbord for grazing and plenty of booze and silly games.

ON the other hand you may find that their ages and their health issues might change things anyway. An 85 year old who is bright and breezy this year, could well become much frailer over a 12 month period . Christmas may have to change as they age .

I think the slight rivalry/anxiety between the grandmas will mean that both sets will want to come for both days. We'll see.

I take your point about the 85 year old and things changing. He'll enjoy a pub trip but would probably sleep through the cinema (as would I )

I have a year to think about this stuff but it's good to hear ideas while it fresh in your minds so thank you all!

Go for a walk, make a fruit salad, play games or quizzes. Get others to help, put the kids in charge of some parts

We had both my sisters and their families arriving on Xmas morning and leaving before lunch today. Boxing Day still feels quite different from Xmas Day to me.
The main elements are

1. Brunch!!! (BIL makes his). Christmas Day we have quite a light breakfast.
2. Compulsory Boxing Day walk. Christmas Day we don't go out.
3. Very late lunch/early dinner. Buffet style but mostly hot (rather than the Xmas day evening food which is basically just cheese, pate, mince pies etc. We had leftover food from Xmas Dinner but added a vegetarian pie, potato gratin, nice salad and trifle!
4. Dress: Xmas Day is fairly dressed up, Boxing day is walking clothes - then snuggly clothes when we get back.

Thanks @irregularegular I agree the two days feel a bit different anyway...

I love the idea of the walk too but it would be the older GPs (the more sociable / extroverted set) who wouldn't be able to do this in my family. It's tricky trying to find things that suit all the different age groups and abilities.