Help! How to use up time?!?

[Wilkolampshade]

DB DSiL arriving at 3 p.m. We'll probably eat around 7p.m What on earth do I do inbetween? I absolutely hate entertaining and pretty much the whole Christmas thing, it's raining, we live in a small terrace, haven't seen them for 2 years ish and I'm dreading it. My grown up kids will be here and DH who will help, but I'm genuinely at a loss as to what on earth I'm supposed to do with them. It seems such an odd time to arrive. Ugh. I'd only asked them because it had become very rude not to, and I was running out of pandemic to hide behind.
We've just had covid here as well, so have spent the past month pretty much in bed or shuffling around unproductvely, when I should have been transforming this shit-tip of a house into something more pleasant or at least not embarrassing. (DB lives in a glamorous architecty conversion.)
Sorry. Been dreading it.

You stick the kettle on and have a good catch up? Isn't that why you invite people round?!

Well, alcohol always helps.

Just let'em get on with whatever they want and remember this, too, is possible. Just because they're in your house doesn't make you responsible for their happiness.

Board games. Pictionary. Would I lie to you.

Cook together.

Engage them in an interest of yours.

Chat.

Put some music on and play a game? Wine also helps

Board games after dinner maybe, but straight out of the car and crack open the cluedo? Wouldnt that be odd?
I can chat with the best of them..... but DB won't really engage, will make slightly cryptic one word responses to things and refuse to explain about his very difficult and clever and important job and I can bet, won't ask a single question regarding my life. My SiL is 100% lovely but struggles with small talk as English not her first language and sadly at my extremely great age and not being much of a linguist I am not likely to pick up much Korean.
I would cook with them, or indeed just let them get on with it, but the kitchen is a grotty unmodernised affair - (house bought in lockdown and work still to do.) Also, DB bringing leftovers for a Boxing Day dinner tonight.

Alcohol fine but if we're starting at 3p.m a bit early for me.
@heldinadream 😅 this is where my head's at. Sadly not my reality yet and would seem a bit harsh as I've invited them.. Still running around trying to make it all OK.
We can do tea for an hour.....
Oh, I'm just being curmudgeonly.

Go out for a walk! Work up an appetite for dinner. Make it a brisk and / or hilly one and your BIL will be too out of breath to be cryptic.

Maybe I'll be lucky and the bloody rain will lift.
Thanks all. I guess I'm just being silly... No one else seems to hate it quite like me...
Maybe a NY resolution should be to stop getting into this position in the first place.

Why not eat earlier then there is less time to fill

I'd eat early

@Snog @CottonSock yes! You may be right....Once we're on the meal trajectory we can probably relax a bit....

When they arrive, make a big pot of tea or coffee, offer warm mince pies and a slice of Christmas cake and catch up: how was Christmas, how has their year been etc. Explain during this catch up that you're still recovering from Covid and have had zero energy to sort out the house. Chat about NYE plans and general plans for next year. All that catch up will take an hour.

Then exchange gifts if you are doing that. At that point, I'd offer a drink, even if it is only 4pm. Bucks fizz or G&T while you exchange presents. With lots of soft drink options.

If it is not raining suggest a walk. If it is, suggest you watch a classic film or if they/you are the type - play a game: charades or a Christmas quiz or cards. Then you can slip out of the living room and hide in the kitchen getting dinner ready. I love this excuse. Lots of calm alone time, and lots of compliments afterwards! If they are the types to hover, just give them small jobs: laying the table, peeling veg etc. People feel more at home if they are allowed to be useful.

Are any coffee shops open? Coffee and cake?

@hivemindneeded oh goodness hive, your post is so kind and straight forward. Genuinely teary now. I just can't bear this stuff and it makes me feel so useless and inadequate.
I might get the kids up now and give them directions re your instructions. I'm sure it all seems worse because of my own insecurities and your post is such a lovely hand hold. Thank you. Xx

Lovely post @hivemindneeded that's exactly what I'd do.

OP I'd bring dinner earlier as it focuses the day. I'd do:

3-4: tea and chat as per hivemind's post
4-5.30: walk or movie
5.30: alcohol and music
6,30: dinner then followed by board games

Definitely have dinner at 5 - problem solved :) or message them and ask them to come at 5pm today.

I can totally empathise op, I find the long dreary hours at Christmas hard to fill when family are around, especially if it's my house. One year we went out for lunch but were home for 2. I wasn't drinking because I was on call for work, my parents and mil just came in and sat down looking at me expectantly to provide "entertainment". It's ok when my sister's there as she has a bit of initiative getting board games etc.

I would offer drinks, then just disappear to cook. Sorry can't be more helpful!

Are they staying over? How far away do they live? I’d be tempted to eat much earlier than 7pm.

Oh @Turkishangora glad I'm not the only one!
And thanks to all PP's for ideas. Yes, will bring dinner earlier.
I'm afraid they are indeed staying over, @123walrus, I must grit my teeth and just suck it up. ..If those two things aren't mutually exclusive.
There's always been an expectation in my family that I'll be the one to do the hosting and jollying along because I'm more normal and sociable (!?!?!? ) and the others are all clever and obscure and intellectual. Or something.
I find with menopause and especially now, so exhausted after covid I. Just. Can't.

We have that expectation as we have the biggest kitchen... I'm naturally introverted and find the hosting exhausting, having to keep the conversation going and making sure everyone's ok with drinks, snacks etc. And it all falls to me, if mil is here she'll pester me not her own son.

In our family (we usually have large gatherings) we create some roles so there is an entertainment director whose role is to plan the games and any of the fun stuff.

Then there is a head chef and at least one helper.

There is also a host to receive guests, hang coats, serve drinks & nibbles - we usually offer mulled wine on arrival. Kind of like a butler role.

This means that one person is not trying to sort out everything and people can play to their strengths.

OP don't be scared to allocate roles to your guests

Eg BIL please can you make sure everyone has a drink and hand round the nibbles

Thank you all. Xx

@Snog that’s an amazing idea I may do that in future. I manage lots of people at work and I am a big fan of giving everyone a role so they know what’s expected of them and can just get on with it. But at home I just do it all.

@Snog

In our family (we usually have large gatherings) we create some roles so there is an entertainment director whose role is to plan the games and any of the fun stuff.

Then there is a head chef and at least one helper.

There is also a host to receive guests, hang coats, serve drinks & nibbles - we usually offer mulled wine on arrival. Kind of like a butler role.

This means that one person is not trying to sort out everything and people can play to their strengths.

That is a very good idea. I'm going to do that next year. I've really enjoyed Christmas but i feel a bit whacked running around after everyone (DH absolutely helps 50/50 but the late teen DC have done far less than I'd expected they would. This year I;ve let it go for various reasons but next year I'll expect them to roll up their sleeves more.