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Christmas

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Original poster

Bit disappointed

32 replies

Daineseturbo · 25/12/2021 13:19

DP (married 15 years) didn’t get me a gift for Christmas - would have liked a little something (pair of warm socks? Choccy bar?) as a gesture from our 2 young children? Doesn’t need to cost more than a couple of pounds, the value doesn’t matter.

I was ok but abit quiet after the present opening this morning - and when asked I said I was abit disappointed about there not being a little something to open from the kids. There’s not been enough time, too busy, is the reason for no gift.

Feel abit rubbish about it - more about feeling that I don’t matter, like I’m not worth spending 2 minutes looking on amazon.

OP posts:
ImInStealthMode · 25/12/2021 13:23

You've every right to be disappointed OP.

I just can't fathom what goes (or doesn't go) through someone's head to not get their partner so much as a token gift, unless it's been mutually agreed you won't exchange them. Too busy is a bullshit excuse, Christmas doesn't exactly sneak up and surprise us.

Thanks & Ginfor you xx

home2012 · 25/12/2021 13:40

No excuse at all. Even a box of milk tray from the corner shop
Would be something.

justthecat · 25/12/2021 13:45

Get yourself online and buy yourself something fab 💐

Nosnowthisyear · 25/12/2021 13:55

Did he get you anything from him?

SpindlesHill · 25/12/2021 14:07

I'm so sorry. I was telling my adult DS earlier that MN will have women posting today who say they do a lot of the work at Christmas but don't even receive a single present, and he was Shock

Did you not get anything at all, from anyone?

MissLC · 25/12/2021 14:12

My husband and I had an actual conversation about budgets for gifts this year as I'm on maternity so needed to budget/save.
We agreed on up to £50 to buy for each other and then an additional £30 to buy a gift from the baby to each other.
I didn't get anything from the baby. Which has disappointed me to be honest, she was born after my birthday and mother's day so this was the first occasion she's been here for that I could get anything from her 🤷‍♀️

Rainallnight · 25/12/2021 14:13

Did he give you a present from him?

windmill26 · 25/12/2021 14:15

Sorry to hear.Next Christmas sort yourself out and put it under the tree.Not to be petty but I wouldn't bother getting anything for your husband. The "There’s not been enough time, too busy, is the reason for no gift" really annoys the crap out of me! We all know that Xmas comes the 25th of December EVERY YEAR! Surely no one is THAT BUSY for the remaining 11 months of the year that prevents them to buy a gift.

ColourMeExhausted · 25/12/2021 14:15

I'm always so sad to read these posts, it really annoys me too! So many people men just don't think. In this day and age of Amazon Prime, click and collect, 24 hour shops etc having no time is no excuse! I'm so sorry OP. Buy yourself something amazing now and don't stint on price. I'd buy you something myself if I knew you...

Geppili · 25/12/2021 14:16

He is setting a very bad example to your kids and he is being a negligent dick.

Lammysaurus · 25/12/2021 14:17

There’s not been enough time.

Chirstmas is a fixed feast; it has been set on the same day in the Roman/Gregorian calendars since the 4th Century AD. That's a lot of time to prepare.

What has happened in previous years? Has he given you presents, helped the children get you presents? If the children are old enough to know what's going on, it's pretty crappy to normalise the idea that he gets gifts from everyone and you give to everyone but get from no one. (Not so important what the specific gifts are, or that they're expensive or took a long time to chose - they could be handmade or token or last minute and be worlds better than nothing.)

Completely different if you'd agreed "no presents for adults" or not exchanging with each other, but to know you'd sit through a family gift exchange and have that happen unexpectedly - I can't understand/excuse it. Of course you're an adult and you don't "need" anything and you'll get over it, but I'd have serious concerns about him teaching the children rudeness/unfairness, at the very least.

Kebabandchipsplease · 25/12/2021 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TulipsfromAmsterdam · 25/12/2021 15:47

I know how you feel. Santa had brought gifts for 2 dc's who are still at home and dh. 10 yo is ASD and asked if I was in the naughty list!
DD turned up with wrapped gifts for all so that made ds happy.
Dh paid for gifts for me which I chose and had bought a couple of little surprises but didn't wrap any. It's just the lack of any thought which hurts. And the same excuses about not having time though he can sit for ages with his phone in his hand at night.

Original poster
Daineseturbo · 25/12/2021 16:07

I should have pointed out - I’m a guy, my DP is my wife. Not that gender matters in this instance of course. I got DP a necklace and replenished her cosmetics that were running low, so mixture of practical and something nice.

I’d dropped a few hints about a new screwdriver, as my go-to one after many years Needs replacing. Sadly not even a screwdriver. Still quite upset now.

OP posts:
windmill26 · 25/12/2021 16:33

@Daineseturbo

I should have pointed out - I’m a guy, my DP is my wife. Not that gender matters in this instance of course. I got DP a necklace and replenished her cosmetics that were running low, so mixture of practical and something nice.

I’d dropped a few hints about a new screwdriver, as my go-to one after many years Needs replacing. Sadly not even a screwdriver. Still quite upset now.

Sorry,I presumed that the non gift giver was a man for the simple reason that yesterday the mall close to me was packed with males running around like headless chickens buying gifts. The queue in Pandora was staggering! Still...no excuse...she could have bought you something in the other 11 months of the year if December is a busy month for her.
Livebythecoast · 25/12/2021 16:40

Yeah, that's pretty rubbish OP. Like you say, even a token gifts from the kids would have been nice. What is she like with your birthday, anniversary etc?

justthecat · 25/12/2021 16:55

Still get yourself online and treat yourself, my h made a big thing of buying each other something then bought me something for the house there is already 2 of whilst he got something personal for him

MsTSwift · 25/12/2021 17:09

Gender doesn’t come into it. I have numerous thoughtful gifts from Dh he got the kids gifts this year all spot on and did 75% of the food prep and shopping. And a high earner with demanding job. No excuse.

scoobydoo1971 · 25/12/2021 17:53

My boyfriend did the same today...absolutely nothing, except a text message (yawn). I find the lack of consideration rather shocking, and it speaks volumes about them, not you. Apart from disappointment, you have to think about what they contribute to your life and how this bad behaviour reflects on them as people. It is bad manners. My 'darling' shall be leaving as I am ditching him tomorrow...life is too short for scrooge with the emotional intelligence of a slug. I hope you feel better about this and understand that your disappointment is justified.

KatherineofGaunt · 25/12/2021 18:00

If you got nothing at all, that's horrible of your DP. Perhaps get her nothing next year?

I didn't get anything from my son (from hubby) even though I got him something from me and something from our son. But at least I got a gift from my DH. If I'd received nothing I'd have been really upset.

picklemewalnuts · 25/12/2021 18:00

I have to confess that I am bad at buying for my husband. He doesn't want/need anything, has very niche interests it's difficult to shop for. Doesn't like clothes. Buys confectionery whenever he wants so it doesn't seem a treat.

I do however make sure that his favourite foods are covered, we do stockings so he has nice treats in his stocking. I go to lengths to decorate nicely and so on. So I work hard at making Christmas nice for everyone, I don't necessarily do a good job at getting him a gift.
It will be our anniversary in a few days too, so I'll have failed that one too.

CovidForChristmas · 25/12/2021 18:01

I can understand why you would feel sad that she didn’t get you anything but gifts ‘from the children’ always smacks of desperation to me.

There’s not been enough time, too busy, is the reason for no gift.
This is bullshit. We make time to do the things that are important to us.
Sorry OP.

Holothane · 25/12/2021 18:02

I feel your pain the crap I’ve had over the years this year I sorted myself out and loved it, he’s well miffed I’m laughing head off.

GatoradeMeBitch · 25/12/2021 18:32

Order the screwdriver for yourself.

Original poster
Daineseturbo · 25/12/2021 23:00

Just spent £300 re-stocking my entire tool chest from Halfords online order…. Through the joint account. Sorted.

OP posts: