The saddest Christmas I’ve ever had…

[pixietinkdust]

I’m 30 years old, single and childless.

Went through a bad breakup 4 weeks ago, I’ve sold my house and ended up back with my folks until I can decide what the plan is. I am also currently in isolation as I’ve caught COVID (allowed out tomorrow, fingers crossed!)

I’ve never been a lover of Christmas but this one really takes the biscuit. Being a lone entity in a world full of couples and happy families really is soul destroying. I’m left wondering what on Earth I’ve done to deserve a life like this… it’s just not how I thought it would be.

I’ve no idea what the objective behind this post is tbh.

Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas x

Your happiness shouldn’t depend on a man or a child.

You should try and find happiness in yourself and life as it is and you’ll meet the right man when you’re meant to.

If you don’t find happiness when you are single, then you will never truly be happy with anyone else either.

I hope you have a lovely Christmas and my only advice is to stay away from social media - the photos people post are often very fake.

I was exactly the same at you aged 30 and I can remember wondering am I ever going to meet anyone? I had some awful relationships. I met my now husband at 32, had first baby at 34 and second baby at 38. You have got everything to look forward to , you’re only 30!

I agree with previous poster about not being reliant on a man for your happiness, but I knew I wanted to be a mum and I was worried that it wasn’t going to happen for me, but it did.

Sorry you're feeling shit. I know you can't see it right now, but being (only) 30 and single, not tied to a mortgage - look at this as a fresh opportunity. I'm old and anchored down to a husband and kids and a mortgage. The world is your oyster in 2022. Be excited.

What's your job? Could it take you abroad?

You are on the cusp of exciting new adventures. I envy you.

Please don’t give up. I didn’t have my children until I was in my mid to late thirties so there’s still time. Try and enjoy tomorrow and make the best of it. Then look forward to what the New Year can bring.

I remember being about that age, lying in a single bed in an unheated room, having just been dumped at Christmastime in my parents' house. I hit my rock bottom and decided things had to change, I'd packed up my life and was on a flight by Valentine's Day! I took a lot more mis-steps but I learnt a lot and trying something new felt good. That was ten years ago, a lot has changed I'm now happily married with a three year old who is too excited to sleep.

You'll figure out your way in the world xx

A lot of people are single and childless at 30. So not sure why you think this is unusual and the world is against you.
And you have parents so you have a family, not all of us are lucky enough to have parents at 30.
So count your blessings, you are healthy, you do have family, you are financially in a good place by the sounds of it and you are out of a relationship that wasn’t working out. Be positive

I am so sorry you feel this way. I dont have any advice. My Christmas is the saddest I have had.

It doesn't matter why. It doesn't matter than my reasons maybe sadder than yours. Or vice versa.

I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone.

My friend was in this exact position a few years ago. Within the year she'd moved to NY and met her (now) husband. 5 years later they have 2 kids together and an awesome life. Hang in there, it'll get better. In the meantime pour yourself a drink and watch some enjoyable crap on tv.

I'm sat with my DH, Dd21,Dd19, mil, bil... and also feel lonely. Sometimes it's a state of mind.

That sounds rough. Do you get on well with your parents? Try to enjoy their company tomorrow, treat yourself well (telly, chocolates etc) and then start making plans for your new life in 2022. And buy yourself something lovely in the sales.

I was single and childless at 30. Met DH at 31 and now at 43 have two children. We're going to have a lovely Christmas but it would be nicer if my folks could be with us - they're not with us this year because of health stuff. I've lost a couple of family members this year and my advice is to enjoy and cherish Christmas with the loved ones you're with.

Sorry for your rubbish year

A Christmas with either of my parents though would be amazing, I would give anything for that x

Sending a hug darling. Life can seem bleak one minute and then turn 180 degrees in a blink of an eye. It ebbs & flows and has its peaks & troughs. Consider everything and assume nothing. Every new morning brings new opportunities and closer to your new life. Morn your loss whilst thinking of your brighter future ❤️🎄🍹

I ended up completely alone one Christmas aged 29. Relationship ended and my entire family forgot about me. It was pretty shit but my life did get better from there. Not saying it was a smooth ride but somehow I ended up with a DH and two kids.

Watch lots of TV and you'll get through somehow.

When I was 30, I was single and childless, no BF in sight and living with my parents.
Now I am 60ish, single with children and grandchildren, no BF in sight and living in my own home. My dear parents have passed - wish daily they were still here.
Your life will change. Try to appreciate what you have right now. You won't always have it.

@JohnSmithDrive your post was just beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s amazing that you’ve managed to navigate this really tricky time the way you have and can still see some good. I wish I could be. More like you.

Oh OP! We are a similar age. I look at it as - we’re young and free and have the world at our feet. We’re so lucky in so many ways. Of course you’re allowed to feel down about your situation - but nothing stays the same forever, good or bad. I hope your Christmas is lovely, and 2022 brings you lots of joy x

I didn't meet my now husband till my late 30s and had lived alone since I was 21. I know how hard it is when everyone around you seems to be coupled up or having a fabulous time with their families, and this was pre-internet days so at least I didn't have to suffer Instagram & Facebook. I used to feel so lonely. I would usually end up washing my hair and doing a mini facial or pedicure etc to cheer myself up.
But please don't give up on things changing in the future, OP. I thought I'd be alone forever, but it didn't turn out like that. Be kind to yourself in the meantime.

All that happy,clappy xmas with family/friends is not really reality.Loads of couples/families/children will argue and also be sad on xmas.dont think because you are single and have no children,everybody else will have a brilliant xmas by default.its a myth.crack open a bubbly and think of your very exciting new year with all the doors open for happiness for you.

Aw op you haven't done anything wrong. I got with my now dh when l was 33, had dd at 35 - don't write yourself off.

Try and have a restful time tomorrow, 2022 will be better for you xx