Neighbour Christmas etiquette/DH winge

[GiftWrappingLikeItsXmasEve]

We’ve moved in 18 months. 5 neighbours all seem lovely, some with kids similar age. 2 related families lived here for generations.

When we moved in 4 households left in welcome cards and gifts (box celebrations, candles similar). Last Christmas same 4 got gifts and cards (wine and celebrations or similar). At Halloween we got covid and 2 families brought wine, biscuits and sweets. For context when they got covid in August we just sent a text to say “if you need anything etc”

So now Christmas, should we bring wine and chocolates to all 5, setting this up as annual thing? Or bring some homemade bread and jam?

DH says the latter and has now spent some time ( ie wasted Christmas Eve morning) baking bread, but I think seems cheap and not festive.

DH has not made any other effort towards Christmas, other than going along with what I have asked, eg I have given him a list of names to write cards to, given him the cards and stamps. Then reminded him to take them to post office the next day (he did about 20 out of 50 cards).

We have only ever interacted with 1 neighbour in old house and just did cards! I don’t want to offend and I don’t particularly want to argue with DH.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with homemade bread and Jam . I think it’s nice to have something a bit different

People’s cupboards will be stuffed full of food. If you brought me a loaf of bread today it would end up wasted.

Bread and jam is an odd choice too, not very festive. Also lots of people in Covid times won’t eat homemade food items.

If you haven’t done them cards by now it’s verging on being a last minute thought -maybe if they haven’t dropped anything off yet they won’t, as you didn’t reciprocate last year?

I’d maybe just have posted cards through the door at the beginning of the week and left it at that tbh.

I think a card would have sufficed if I’m honest. Then I’d have reciprocated if a present arrived on my doorstep.

I wouldn't be bothering baking something. I also don't think most people would eat it, what with covid and all.

A cheap bottle of wine or box of chocolates would suffice. The thought is there without the effort/expense.

I’d prefer bread and jam to a bottle of wine and chocolates to be honest

I would definitely send something small to each house, it sounds like a lovely community. You’re very lucky!

I think thr jam on its own, or with a bottle of wine, would be a lovely gesture and welcome. The bread may well go to waste as everyone will be chock full of food just now.

Jam on it's own, it will last so much longer than bread.

Thank you everyone. We did give the jam, bread and a card to 3 (already baked - made him deliver them) but I persuaded him to stop and give (already bought) chocolates to the rest.
Merry Christmas, and if your so socially awkward neighbours got you jam, they had the best intentions :-)

I would be over the moon with the bread and jam! Lots of effort and would get used in my household

I would love homemade bread and jam. Please can you deliver some round here in about half an hour!

You don’t know them well, so just a card would have been fine.

Agree that it’s annoying DH chose to spend hours ‘showboat’ baking on Xmas eve. Lots of the bread will be wasted as people have loads of food in at xmas.

Stop doing ‘wifework’ for your H: his family/friends, he buys and sorts cards and gifts - or not.

We are a group of five houses where we all get on well. We don't visit but we give lifts, do shopping, look after each others' homes or take in dogs for short breaks, take stuff to the tip for the others if one is going - like that. All we do is cards and usually those festive boxes of biscuits or chocolates.

Having said that, I'd love home made bread and jam and would eat it over shop bought any day.

I would have loved homemade bread and jam, esp over commercial chocolates.

Homemade bread and jam takes more effort so I'd say a lovely gift.

It’d be a nice gift, but not on christmas eve/day

A card is enough. Once you get into this gift buying, it's just another stress at Christmas and you end up giving stuff no one wants, and getting stuff you don't need. Knock it on the head now.

Honestly I would have reciprocated in kind as they sound extremely kind and thoughtful and god knows good neighbours are worth time and effort.

We have amazing neighbours too, they bring all sorts of treasures to our door, look after our pets, and host outdoor movie nights, summer pool parties etc.

We always give strawberries after our annual picking adventure and help out with their kids/animals etc.

I would have given biscuits or a tub of chocolates.