I know IABU but I'm tempted to twitch. Talk me down?

[penguinwithasuitcase]

So: Christmas this year is DP, DSS (15) and me.

I got DSS three small-ish gifts related to his martial arts training, DP has got him some new trainers and a couple of items of clothing, and DP and I between us got him a pretty expensive main gift (£250ish).

We had expected DP's family to come through with more small things for DSS, but due to Covid and postage issues (Brexit), they haven't.

So he's got one big thing and six small things. Fine.

DP took a big step this year starting to retrain for a new career while still working, and becoming full-time resident parent to DSS. I've got DP about 15 gifts – (fairly small ones, before anyone gets too shocked ) and many of them items related to his studies that he can use for school.

I know it's ridiculous, but I'm tempted to run out and get DSS some more little bits to balance out their piles, OR hold some of DP's gifts back to give to him later so it feels more equal on Christmas morning.

I'm being silly, aren't I? DSS isn't a small child, he knows the big item is significant, and he won't resent DP at all for having more packages to open. But I'm still tempted to bulk up his pile last minute!

I think the issue is more that we tend to open gifts one by one, so it feels a bit awkward if one person has more to open than anyone else...

Give my head a wobble, please!

Personally, I would go out and get a few extra bits and bobs. It could be inexpensive things like some chocolate, sweets, a book.

I would do it now while you have time.

I would get him a few bits to even it up. Chocolates? Socks? Some cans of his favourite drink?

I'm so sorry to be mean, but I can't believe that you've actually taken the time to post this (and that I read it) 😬

Hold back some of DP's gifts then when DP's family gifts are given at a later date DP can then open the ones that were held back together with DSS's,

Does he also have a stocking?

@bookworm1982

I'm so sorry to be mean, but I can't believe that you've actually taken the time to post this (and that I read it) 😬

And not only did you read it, you then COMMENTED!

Unbelievable indeed!

Ha sorry its not what you want but yes I would get a few more (very inexpensive) things. Even if it's stuff like silly socks/a magazine/chocolate you can pick up from tescos. An amazon gift card you can just print out?

I pretty much always give in to the twitch 🤷🏼‍♀️
I would get just a couple of cheap bits to add to the pile.

@thevassal it's not what I was looking for, but it's nice to hear maybe I'm NOT being precious and ridiculous!

What a relief

One of the gifts I ordered for him didn't arrive (a crate of Japanese snacks and drinks), which I'm gutted about because he would have LOVED it, so I was thinking along the same lines as many of you – some kind of a snack box of his favourite foods or something...

@HelloDulling no, no stocking – that's not really a thing where we live (not in the UK).

What if DP has only got you 1 or 2 things? Speak to him first

Don’t buy more stuff. It’s stuff for the sake of it. Hold some of DP’s stuff back.

How many items will you be opening, if you take turns?

Knock the one by one thing on the head. It tortuous and I hate it.

And yes, buy a few little bits.

@MrsTerryPratchett In that case I absolutely promise that when you come to ours for Christmas we won't do the one by one thing

@girlmom21 I will have a chat with DP too,you're right. I'm genuinely not that bothered about my own gifts –I enjoy giving them much more than receiving (and that's not me being a martyr, it's just how I roll) –but I'll check in with him anyway.

Can you group some of DPs gifts together, so the same number of gifts to open. It just means putting food stuff into a gift bag to make 3 gifts into one "hamper" for example? If they are for his studies, there might be natural groupings.

I get why you are concerned OP. Personally if you are overall happy with what you have got DSS, I would just hold back some of your DPs gifts until later so the piles are more equal.

You sound lovely, and I hope you have a great day!

@AlexaIWillNeverSayDucking

Can you group some of DPs gifts together, so the same number of gifts to open. It just means putting food stuff into a gift bag to make 3 gifts into one "hamper" for example? If they are for his studies, there might be natural groupings.

Holy cats, now THAT is some lateral thinking that hadn't occurred to me at all!

I could definitely do that taking a glance at the pile and realising I've wrapped up three metal rulers and two set squares into two separate parcels...

FFS what a fool I can be sometimes...

Thank you!

@penguinwithasuitcase I made up a hamper for dd of sweets, it looks awesome! Got the hamper from Iceland but B&M also have them. I put in a few bottles of juice, popcorn, haribo, family size chocolate bars and a couple of coffee syrup things she likes for coffee. Then wrapped it up in cellophane, looks really substantial