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Original poster

Oh i really dont want to do this!!!!!

17 replies

AchristmasRGPARGYcarol · 20/12/2007 09:46

I have lovely lovely lovely PILs and a wonderful DP. BUT DP and i moved into our new house in the summer and DP wanted to spend Xmas day here, which is fair enough. He also wanted to invite his parents over for the day too. I dont mind that so much but they are coming over for dinner. This makes me feel under pressure to cook them a nice Christmas dinner, at the same time as trying to BF my baby who will be 3 weeks old at the time. I know DP will step in with the cooking where necessary, as will the PILs, but i really dont want to be finding somewhere quiet to feed the baby, away from the PILs (there's no way i'm feeding in front of them!!) while the dinner bubbles away and gets out of my control lol.

I know it's trivial etc, but i really really cant be arsed to do Christmas this year at all, let alone entertain people too! I just want to carry on what i'm doing now - and that's to just babymoon and eat chocolate and watch crap on the telly.

Please tell me i'm not the only one?

OP posts:
coldtits · 20/12/2007 09:49

Why are you under pressure to cook? You already have a job to do - it's your husband who should feel under pressure to cook, why have you assumed it's your responsibility to make everyone happy?

Buy the ingredients in and inform him of their location. Relax. If dinner is screwed up, just say "I forgive you, darling, it doesn't matter". Cos it sure as hell ain't your problem!

karen999 · 20/12/2007 09:50

Well do that then - get your DP and PILS to do all the cooking. They will not mind and will understand. They will prob be glad to help. When my PILs visited I bf in front of them although I used a muslin cloth to hide my boobs! Try and relax, go with the flow and I am sure you will have a lovely day.

mumofmonSTARsOfBethlehem · 20/12/2007 09:50

Get a ready cooked chicken from Sainsbo, some half cooked veggies and pre cooked mash, do some packet gravy and it will take half an hour tops.

Or get DP to do it

With a 3 week old i think you would be allowed to delegate!

BahHumbugRubyRiojaNoXmasName · 20/12/2007 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HuwEdwards · 20/12/2007 09:51

Look, by your own admission you will be surrounded by lovely, wonderful people. Sit back, don't stress and enjoy

crokky · 20/12/2007 09:52

With a 3 week old baby, you shouldn't do anything towards cooking the Christmas dinner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I was bfing at that stage, I was feeding about 20 hours a day. In the unlikely event I could put my DS down, I would need to collapse myself. I couldn't even eat at that stage, I just put a muslin over DS and ate my dinner over his head whilst he still bfed!

DP must do dinner! If need help, PILs must help!

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 20/12/2007 09:52

get dp to coo, get your big ds to help cook, put your feet up and delegate from the armchair.

Original poster
AchristmasRGPARGYcarol · 20/12/2007 10:25

Oh phew! Glad i'm not being unreasonable. Delegation sounds like the answer! Thanx ladies!

OP posts:
nailpolish · 20/12/2007 10:33

you could always go out
when my dd2 was this age at christmas we went out - teh thought of no washing up was bliss. dd1 ws 2 yrs at the time and she had plenty to do. the restaurant even dressed one of the waiters up as santa and the wee ones got gifts. i wasnt worried about bf in public though

MummyDoItUnderTheMistletoe · 20/12/2007 10:34

Absolutely delegate. MIL stayed with us the first Christmas DS1 was born. He was only five days old on Christmas Day and I'd had a c-section so she and DH did everything. Can you ask your PIL to bring part of the dinner with them? Maybe starter or pudding or cheese. Something they can prepare in advance and just heat up and/or serve on the day. I'm sure they're not expecting you to be the perfect hostess and will be pleased to help.

phdlifeneedsanewlife · 20/12/2007 10:35

why wouldn't you feed in front of your PiLs? (don't mean to sound rude, genuinely wondering!)

nailpolish · 20/12/2007 10:36

i wondered too phd

RG, just tuck babe under your top. FIL prob wont notice, and if he does, its HIM who will be embarrassed not you.

Original poster
AchristmasRGPARGYcarol · 20/12/2007 10:52

It's a bit late to be going out now really. Nice idea tho - maybe next year!

I could possibly ask PILs to bring something with them. They are veggies so they might be bringing their main courses anyway lol.

As for feeding in front of them, it's not so much MIL, but i do feel awkward feeding in front of DS (17), let alone FIL! DS gets embarrassed when i'm feeding DD and generally doesn't come into the room or asks if it's "safe" to come in lol. He's a teenager tho so i guess he's allowed to be embarrassed of his mum. PILs are both very pro-bf but i'm just shy/embarrassed to feed in front of them. I might start practising with a muslin.......

OP posts:
mellyonion · 20/12/2007 11:25

i have never been shy about bf anywhere, lol, but i do think that you should be able to feed in front of your family, for no ones sake but your own....i spent my first christmas with my ds, then 2 weeks old upstairs in my uncles house for fear of offending anyone...i was sad, lonely and cried and just wanted to have some company....bless me.

i have found the easiest way for a first step to bf in front of oldies is to be actually feeding bubs when they come in....they will hardly notice, then its kind of done! think about what you wear...a nice longish loose top will hide your belly whilst giving you room to manovre underneath with your bra, pads, norks etc...
or, you could just make an announcement like "be warned...i'm getting my boobs out!" lol this will the give anyone who chooses not to look to become hugely engaged in conversation, tele, book, or get up and leave....call them when its all over! lol

sorry if i'm teaching a granny to suck eggs (whatever that means!!) but its something i feel really strongly about....its ONLY bf...the most natural thing in the world....your ds is a brill age to understand about it, and hopefully will become pro bf, and challenge hs own peers about their attitudes if the conversation ever arises..... lol

good luck...oh yeah, agree wholeheartedly about delegating the dinner! enjoy your day xx

Original poster
AchristmasRGPARGYcarol · 20/12/2007 12:05

I dont mind that much feeding in front of DS, but i get embarrassed for his sake, IYSWIM. It's just the in-laws i'm shy about feeding in front of. I do hope that DS will become pro-bf, especially as he's seen his little sister thrive on being BF.

You're not teaching a granny to suck eggs - this is the first time i've actually BF so i'm rather proud of being able to do it this time around.

I think the main thing is that sometimes DD fusses when i try to put her to the breast (normally the left one is her fussy one!) so i dont want to get flustered if she fusses when PILs are here!

OP posts:
phdlifeneedsanewlife · 20/12/2007 13:39

congratulations on bfing and good luck with it, RGPargy, I'm sure it will work out fine. My ds was 4m when my PiLs visited and going through the "distractible" stage - this meant I spent one meal in a restaurant sitting with my nip out while he admired the ceiling lights. FIL coped admirably - just barked at ds to "man the pumps"! (military background, what can I say...) I think it's a wonderful thing for your ds to get used to bfing at this stage - good for him to know what they're really for!

smartiejake · 20/12/2007 14:41

My fil usd to be very icky about bf and I always had to go into another room to do it. One day he walked into the sitting room where I was feeding dd (with muslin carefully draped.)He sat and had a long conversation with me without even realising what I was doing!

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