Nearly all our Christmas dinner is out of a packet. Tell me I am not a bad person…

[Deminism]

I am hosting this year. Just seven people. But I want to be present for the kids etc.

All the veg and gravy and stuffing are out of (posh) packets. All the meat is prepared so I just have to put in oven at right moment.

I know it is my gaff my rules, but tell me I am not being a dreadful host please.

Asked no man ever

Have never understood why people make cooking Christmas dinner such a stressful event. After all it’s just a roast,and most people make those on a Sunday,so why is Christmas different?

I admittedly don’t buy pre-prepared veg or potatoes or gravy, but I have a turkey crown, pigs in blankets and cranberry sauce in a jar. And if God had wanted me to make my own Yorkshire puddings aunt Bessie would never have been born.

I used to make every single element myself - down to the bread sauce and cranberry sauce. Then one year I was up stuffing cloves into a raw onion with fumbling fingers at 7am while everyone peacefully slept on, and I thought...

Things have atrophied since then down to the point where this year I've even ordered ready-made mashed potatoes and pouches of gravy. I make beautiful mashed potatoes and decent gravy and I will do, the other 51 weeks of the year. And I bet NO-ONE WILL EVEN NOTICE on the day.

Your line "I want to be there for the kids" really struck a chord with me. That's by far and away the most important thing. You'll have the best Christmas Day ever !

For some people cooking is very stressful. We have plenty of ‘I’ve never cooked a roast before...HELP!’ posts here throughout the year, not just at Christmas. I also think the demands/expectations/martyrdom socialisation around Christmas festivities adds another level of emotional/psychological difficulty for many people (not helped by the fact that so many women buy into all that crap).

We do cook it all from scratch (except the stuffing which comes out of a box because we decided several years ago that we definitely prefer a straightforward, not too fancy or rich stuffing), but that’s because we enjoy cooking together and it doesn’t translate to stress for either of us. We love cooking and it’s cosy for us. We also don’t have young children who need our attention.

When my girls were little and I was on my own with them I also cooked from scratch, but again, it worked just fine because I’ve always done Christmas dinner at dinner time as that’s traditional in my home country, so I could give them my full attention on Christmas morning through to the afternoon and then cook dinner as usual while they chilled and played.

I certainly wouldn’t ever slave away in the kitchen if it was demanded or expected of me by my DH, my PIL or anyone in my own family. I won’t accept a servile role in any respect, ever!

All that to say, any woman who skips the crappy bits and gives herself maximum time to enjoy the lovely bits is doing it right IMO. And she doesn’t need anyone’s permission to feel okay about it.

“Asked no man ever” :)

You’re putting your children before some weird internal sense that you “should” be behaving like it’s the 1950s.

Mumsnet parenting award goes to you!

Yes @Huy456 has a good point. I can’t stand the mummy martyrdom narrative. Anytime you feel guilty or like you’re not doing things perfectly enough, ask yourself ‘would any father anywhere ever worry about this?’ and if the answer is no then you shouldn’t either!

Good for you I say.

Top tip, jar of cranberry tipped into pan, add juice of a satsuma and a tbs of red wine or port, tastes better than the ready made stuff for £3 a pot.

@catinthewindow

Every year the entire meal is ordered via M&S and everyone loves it … who wants to faff?

This. Gives me and/or DH time to actually be with our guests instead of shut away cooking all day. And it tastes better than our from-scratch efforts because we’re not brilliant cooks.

My GDM used to ask me if I made my sausage rolls . Alas I told her No from SB freezer section . She smiled, and said she wished she had had her time again as she would have done the same! (Not much choice in frozen food in the 50s/60s)! Enjoy a stress free(almost) Christmas lunch with your family.

The only things I’m making from scratch are roast potatoes, carrots, green beans and peas!
Meat (which comes with a pouch of gravy), nut roast, cauli cheese, red cabbage, Yorkshire puddings, pigs in blankets all from M&S. So much easier and in the case of Yorkies undoubtedly much better than mine would be from scratch.
The only thing I object to is aunt Bessie’s roast potatoes as I was brought up on them and they are nowhere near as nice as homemade, they don’t get crispy enough.

There's only 4 of us and I absolutely bloody love cooking but I'm using packet mix stuffing and bread sauce, cranberry sauce out of a jar, a frozen 'posh' vegetarian main alongside the turkey (breast for ease of carving) veggie gravy granules & ready made yorkie puds.

I made my own meat gravy a few weeks ago and froze it, but only because I happened to have the ingredients I needed knocking around, and I'll do something a bit fancy with the parsnips but that's about it.

I've also bought foil trays to cook it all in and we don't have a dishwasher and life is waaaaay too shirt to spend half of Christmas day washing up.

My DP “makes” pigs in blankets by buying sausages and buying bacon and wrapping bacon round the sausages- what’s the point?! 🤣

DM did the same thing when we would go to her. DF joked that Tesco Finest cooked our dinner. (Bold statement from a man who can’t boil an egg!). We would much rather she got to enjoy the day and spend her time as she wants, than standing in the kitchen all day.

Also even the celeb chefs use shortcuts. Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey have said there’s no point spending hours making something that you can buy pre-made for £1. (Said specifically about puff pastry and posh chicken stock)

Your family won’t remember the Christmas you baked place name cookies or made an orange, cranberry and port stuffing that took 2 hours of prep. What they will remember is you being part of the fun on the day. Cheating at monopoly, making up the words to Baby it’s cold outside because you’ve had one too many and your paper hat repeatedly falling off.

Pretty much everything i buy for xmas is pre prepared & made by the various supermarkets.

I used to make a lot more of Christmas dinner myself. Since having ds it all comes out of boxes from M and S or Sainsburys. Tastes as good/better and means I can spend much of the day with my family and less of it stressing about dinner! Dps, dh and ds are all entirely on board with this and when we have Christmas at dps they have started to do the same!

I normally do lots from scratch including bread sauce, cranberry sauce, lots of veg. Sometimes even stuffing. This year i have bought lots of M&S pre-prepared stuff (including sauces, stuffing and veg). This is because I will need to finalise my Ocado order (today) before i am certain how many guests we willhave (we have had covid in the house recently but not all of us (yet) so everyone i daily testing, plus still uncertain what Boris will ultimately say plus we are in London which seems to be making a couple of guests nervous).

I thought that if it ends up being just the 4 of us it was not worth the effort of preparing so many different things (and I wont have as many helpers), but equally want to have a "proper" Christmas dinner still. With just being able to chuck trays of pre-prepared veg in the oven etc it should be much more manageable and relaxing.

If most people do turn up in the end, i will need to chop up some extra carrots etc and mix them in with the M&S ones, but we will have plenty of turkey and potatoes and pigs in blankets and gravy, and no-one really likes sprouts anyway so will be fine with a small portion!

If it turns out to be just as good and more relaxing, it may set a precedent, although have not worked out cost difference yet

Why wouldn't it be?

You are not bad just smart... take the path of least resistance and don't be a slave to the kitchen.

We have Paxo stuffing every year as its my OH's fave and I am not ashamed at all!

Sorry to jump on your post but best premade gravy and Roasties? I hate cooking

Any ready-prepared roast potatoes (not already cooked! raw or par-boiled and in a tray ready to go in the oven) in duck or goose fat would be fine. I bought the Morrison’s Best ready-prepared gravy once some years ago and it was lovely. I expect that if you’re happy with the quality from whatever supermarket you shop at, their ‘fancy’ options for gravy would be perfectly good.

Or if you hate cooking to the point that ready-done potatoes are a deal-breaker, any frozen roast potatoes will be pretty much the same as any other, so just buy the cheapest and save yourself some money!

Christmas is a time for everyone (including you) to enjoy, relax, have fun, whatever floats your boat. There's really no need to put pressure on yourself to create a culinary masterpiece, if it will ruin your enjoyment of the day. I'm sure your family would much rather you spend as much time as possible with them, rather than be stuck in the kitchen. Give yourself permission to just bung it all in the oven, set a timer, pour yourself a drink and relax.

My Christmas dinners improved 100% when I started using frozen roasties !

Frozen raw roasties are actually quite good.