How many presents do you think is overwhelming for young children?

Notdoingthis · 20/12/2021 08:48

Spread it out.
We don't wrap stocking gifts - have those in the morning.
Then breakfast/church/walk etc
Main presents from Santa
Lunch
Tree presents
etc

reluctantbrit · 20/12/2021 09:09

Could you keep some aside for later in the winter?

We often had a present left over in February half-term as the weather is normally bad and you are stuck more indoors so having something new kept us going.

Spread it out like Stockings first, Santa after breakfast and family presents after dinner?

Original poster

IKissedSantaClaus · 20/12/2021 09:12

Yes good ideas thanks - we'll try to do stockings and then take a break and do the rest after church. Thinking back I'm sure we did that as kids.

We're (hopefully) going away for the Feb half term so I could keep back a present for each of them to get on holiday.

Next year I need to be vigilant at writing everything down 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:

Fprince · 20/12/2021 10:39

This is Mumsnet so two presents is too many.

Just give them a satsuma.

Children don't need toys!

mam0918 · 20/12/2021 12:27

I do loads of gifts as did my parents... I was never overwhelmed nor have any of my kids been.

However, as an anxious introvert I am and always have been far more likely to be overwhelmed and triggered by people being in my house/space or by being forced into other people's homes/space.

As such it baffles me that people talk about kids being overwhelmed by gifts so they only buy 3 but then invite eleventy-billion aunts/uncles/cousins to the house or drag them around other people's houses stating 'presence not presents' - literally would be a nightmare for our family.

Stompythedinosaur · 20/12/2021 12:30

Just open a few at a time. We often had several days of present opening when the dc were that age as the dc just wanted to play with a gift when they opening it.

TheFairPrincess · 20/12/2021 12:43

A lot of people disagree but I hate the idea of "spreading out" gift giving. If it's over the course of the day, then that's completely fine but to me the idea of giving multiple presents over multiple days kind of "dilutes" the specialness.

In terms of whether it's too much, I think it comes down what the presents are. 20 bit to medium sized toys to me is an awful lot, but for example 2 main toys, a few medium ones, some nice books and clothes and few things to make or do sounds perfect.

Lovemusic33 · 20/12/2021 12:44

You will get a mixture of responses on here…from the “more than 2 presents is too much”……to the “something to read, something they want, something to wear and something to eat” people…and others who will say “mine get 50+ gifts”.

Each child is different. I’ve never seen my kids overwhelmed and some years they have had loads 😬. Now they are are older it’s much less but still a good amount, we tend to spread it out… stockings before breakfast, presents from me/Santa before lunch and then family presents after lunch.

I think as long as its things that will get played with/used and appreciated then it’s ok. I think I have learnt over the years (on my 17th year now) what ends up being a waste of money, what will end up in landfill within a month and what will get played with all year. I try and buy things that will last, things that can be worn (now they are older) and things that they actually want.

My dc probably have around 20 gifts each but as they are teens some of those are clothes, bath bombs, body spray etc.. which are needed.

TheFairPrincess · 20/12/2021 12:44

sorry for typos - I think it comes down to what the presents are. 20 big to medium...

WineGetsMeThroughIt · 20/12/2021 12:45

@mam0918

I do loads of gifts as did my parents... I was never overwhelmed nor have any of my kids been.

However, as an anxious introvert I am and always have been far more likely to be overwhelmed and triggered by people being in my house/space or by being forced into other people's homes/space.

As such it baffles me that people talk about kids being overwhelmed by gifts so they only buy 3 but then invite eleventy-billion aunts/uncles/cousins to the house or drag them around other people's houses stating 'presence not presents' - literally would be a nightmare for our family.

This exactly. I'm exactly the same. My husband spoils the children at Christmas. They probably get 20+ things as well as stockings There are so many gifts. They are 3 and 10. They have never been "overwhelmed by gifts". I've never understood this, and would find it torture (well maybe not torture, but just not Christmassy and a bit boring) to leave the gifts until after lunch, or drag the whole process out for days. When I was a child we were never overwhelmed. As an adult I'm not overwhelmed with the gifts and the chaos of unwrapping and tidying on Christmas morning. After it's all done I nearly organise things into piles for each person. Tidy up the rubbish and the gifts will sit opened under the tree for a few days while the children pick and choose what they want to play with.

When I do get anxious is having to go over to my in-laws house where I'm faced with a plethora of random people all wanting to hug and talk to me when I can barely remember some of their names. Having aunties and uncles forcing drinks and party food on me, and then being asked 10 times at the dinner table why I've not taken any sprouts. Because I'm an adult and I don't bloody like them!

BeyondOurReef · 20/12/2021 13:00

I grew up with the experience of being overwhelmed with stuff at Christmas. Far more than anything that usually gets horrified responses on MN.

It was way, way more than 20 gifts of varying sizes. My mum would fill 3 or 4 big santa sacks with stuff. Plus things on the sofa too. And 4 stockings each!! She hardly wrapped any of it (understandably; that would be a huge undertaking). But it was still an overwhelming amount of stuff to get through.

And it was not really carefully chosen. My sister and I would just get the same stuff, with no real thought about our interests etc. For example, the stockings would be identical so I’d get loads of sweets and chocolate my sister liked. Or just what was on offer wherever my mum was shopping.

It would take all morning to take out. And then I’d have to try to take it all up to my room and put it away. I vividly remember how hard and overwhelming that felt.

So my children get far, far less than that. A small number of nice things that are carefully chosen for them. All nicely wrapped. They get a stocking (one stocking) with wrapped packages of sweets/chocolates, socks, pants and small (thoughtfully chosen) gifts. They’re all wrapped and DS always jokes about his stocking roulette. Will the package be socks or something more exciting. He’d be bitterly disappointed if I didn’t wrap it all. 🤣

I don’t have a house full of people at Christmas either. So it’s all quite quiet and not overwhelming in general. Which is probably many people’s idea of a really crap Christmas. 🤣

TheFairPrincess · 20/12/2021 13:02

However, as an anxious introvert I am and always have been far more likely to be overwhelmed and triggered by people being in my house/space or by being forced into other people's homes/space

I do agree with this though. I can't believe the amount of people who have awful actual Christmas days because of this as well. I always do Christmas day at home because the chaos of many people around is a nightmare, as is not being in my own home. All my childhood memories of Christmas are like this too - we stayed at home for the vast majority of them and I loved it!

BeyondOurReef · 20/12/2021 13:04

Some people do really love a huge, family Christmas with gazillions of people there though. They don’t find it overwhelming and neither do their children. They would not be happy with a pared down, quiet Christmas with just their own household.

There isn’t a right way to do it.

EnidFrighten · 20/12/2021 13:07

Work out what you're comfortable giving them, then stash the rest away for a rainy day. We might be in for lockdowns, you could be glad of a few things hidden away.

You can get kind of Christmas inflation where it's hard to dial back the following year so it mushrooms. If you give far too much this year, will next year seem stingy if you don't do the same?

Original poster

IKissedSantaClaus · 20/12/2021 13:08

Thanks everyone.

DCs are not overwhelmed by being around lots of people, which is good given the size of our immediate family!

I'll see how it goes on the morning but hopefully we can pace it right to make it fun but not too much. I do feel overwhelmed by 'stuff' a lot of the time and perhaps I'm projecting that onto the children slightly! It is a good mixture (I think) of edibles, wearables, board games, books, crafty stuff, audio books and then a few 'play with' toys like Polly pockets etc.

Merry Christmas when it comes!

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TheFairPrincess · 20/12/2021 13:08

@BeyondOurReef your Christmas sounds perfect and just how I like to do mine

I have bought too much yet again this year but it's all very much carefully chosen for each child and yes everything in the stocking will be wrapped which I didn't have time to do last year as I left all the wrapping til Christmas eve!

Original poster

IKissedSantaClaus · 20/12/2021 13:09

And yes - I've sifted out a few things so have a box of surprises to bring out if we're stuck at home or whatever. I feel a bit more comfortable with that.

OP posts:

WineGetsMeThroughIt · 20/12/2021 13:10

@BeyondOurReef

I grew up with the experience of being overwhelmed with stuff at Christmas. Far more than anything that usually gets horrified responses on MN.

It was way, way more than 20 gifts of varying sizes. My mum would fill 3 or 4 big santa sacks with stuff. Plus things on the sofa too. And 4 stockings each!! She hardly wrapped any of it (understandably; that would be a huge undertaking). But it was still an overwhelming amount of stuff to get through.

And it was not really carefully chosen. My sister and I would just get the same stuff, with no real thought about our interests etc. For example, the stockings would be identical so I’d get loads of sweets and chocolate my sister liked. Or just what was on offer wherever my mum was shopping.

It would take all morning to take out. And then I’d have to try to take it all up to my room and put it away. I vividly remember how hard and overwhelming that felt.

So my children get far, far less than that. A small number of nice things that are carefully chosen for them. All nicely wrapped. They get a stocking (one stocking) with wrapped packages of sweets/chocolates, socks, pants and small (thoughtfully chosen) gifts. They’re all wrapped and DS always jokes about his stocking roulette. Will the package be socks or something more exciting. He’d be bitterly disappointed if I didn’t wrap it all. 🤣

I don’t have a house full of people at Christmas either. So it’s all quite quiet and not overwhelming in general. Which is probably many people’s idea of a really crap Christmas. 🤣

This seems like an exceptional circumstance. 😂 I would probably find that pretty overwhelming as well.

If your mum did that these days she'd make the Daily Mail and have several posts on MN about how unacceptable that was and that she was making other parents feel inferior.

Bumpsadaisie · 20/12/2021 13:12

@IKissedSantaClaus

I've made the fatal mistake this year of not keeping track of what the children were getting, and have bought far too much (I think). I don't really understand it - in my head they didn't have that much, it's only now I've started to wrap and put it all together that I've realised it's a lot. About 20 things for each to unwrap, a mix of some small stocking stuff and larger boxes. The stuff isn't expensive it's just a lot of separate parcels.

They'll also get grandparents etc presents although they will be in the afternoon and on boxing Day.

They're 3 and 5. Would you sift out some stuff? I had in my head that I wouldn't go overboard this year

I think I depends on the child. My youngest had and has an absolutely insatiable appetite for presents. He would not greet bored if you gave him a hundred even as a 2 year old 🤣

BeyondOurReef · 20/12/2021 13:13

[quote TheFairPrincess]@BeyondOurReef your Christmas sounds perfect and just how I like to do mine

I have bought too much yet again this year but it's all very much carefully chosen for each child and yes everything in the stocking will be wrapped which I didn't have time to do last year as I left all the wrapping til Christmas eve![/quote]
Definitely don’t leave the wrapping to Christmas Eve. That is always a stressful nightmare.

Incywinceyspider · 20/12/2021 13:23

I think it depends on the child. I also think if you let them go at their own pace then it's less of an issue. If they keep getting gifts shoved in their face then yes they may get overwhelmed. But if you're happy to go with the flow and open presents in their own time, they'll be fine (although it may take several days!).

My DS is 2 and between stocking, santa sack and tree presents probably has 15-20 to open, so I don't think it's a ridiculous amount for a 3-5 year old. What matters is whether a) you can afford it and b) if you think it's all stuff that will be used eventually

CrimbleCrumble1 · 20/12/2021 13:34

I used to hold back a few presents until after lunch and that always worked well. Also it gave my DH a chance to build/ assemble some of the morning toys.

HangingOutWithTheSandman · 20/12/2021 13:46

My kids always had loads of presents when they were young. They never got overwhelmed, they loved it. I’ve never come across a child who got overwhelmed.

UniBallEye · 20/12/2021 13:55

We have teens now but dc always had loads of presents, mostly from Santa and a stocking. I grew up with the experience of santa bringing loads of stuff and it was so exciting and never overwhelming at all.

We have replicated it for our dc now too. Santa brings all all the presents and dh and I wrap one from us for under the tree. Santa does not bring presents from grandparents etc though, they go under the tree and there's only 3 of them anyway.

Given that dc have a small extended family buying them presents we have always compensated for that.

All presents are carefully and thoughtfully chosen and reflect the interests of the dc. There might be 30 presents in total, some small, some big including stocking presents which get padded out with chocolate / sweets too.

Dc have never been overwhelmed and are always grateful for everything and more importantly, they use and enjoy everything !

Excited101 · 20/12/2021 13:57

We used to get a lot of presents as children, maybe 20-30? Maybe more? But stockings (from FC) were to be opened with siblings as soon as we were awake, then main presents were opened once we were up properly and dressed. Presents on armchairs (an armchair each) were from parents, and then we’d do the tree presents that were from family. We were always very grateful for everything we’ve got (videos clarify this!) and there was no obvious overwhelming going on! I would love for my own children to have a similar experience.