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Christmas

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Original poster

What does everyone do re;budget when kids turn 18?

46 replies

makingmiracles · 12/12/2021 14:10

Just wondering what everyone else does in regards to individual amounts spent once your kids turn 18/adults? At present they all get £150 worth of presents plus stocking, but do other people reduce down the amount once your kids turn into adults or when they have children themselves etc?

OP posts:
Jumpingintochristmas · 12/12/2021 14:20

We have young adult children but they seem cost more than primary aged DC.

Whilst at home we intend to keep same budget £350 ish each plus stocking, Christmas Eve pyjamas etc.

Will reduce when they move out/have a live in partner/married. They have PT jobs and buy us gifts, but still students so happy to spoil.

Holothane · 12/12/2021 14:47

I had a a tenner or cheap crappy one present at 21 it ita pair of slipper that was it I was so hurt.

Misshape · 12/12/2021 14:54

My eldest is almost 20, my youngest is almost 18 and I haven’t changed their budget yet. I’m not sure when that will happen if at all

MintyCedric · 12/12/2021 15:04

Just have DD17 and haven't given it a lot of thought but I don't have a set budget now, just see what she wants and what I can afford and go from there.

I imagine the focus will be more on practical stuff and experiences, especially once she's at uni.

Newduvet · 12/12/2021 15:06

Nothing changes in this house as they get older. They won't be penalised pressiewise for growing up.

notacooldad · 12/12/2021 15:08

I've just asked them what they want. Ds1 is going to be £120 ds 2 is around £100.
I'll also buy them other treats.

I tend to spend same on their gfs.

Lovemusic33 · 12/12/2021 15:35

I think it depends. My dd turns 18 after Christmas, if she decides to go to uni then she will probably be skint, there for I will probably continue to spend the same amount until she’s in full time employment then I might reduce it a little. She says she will always want a stocking though 🤣

Floralnomad · 12/12/2021 15:39

We never had a set budget when they were children and we still don’t .

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 12/12/2021 15:39

I had this conversation with my mum (can't remember why, but it started with discussing how much dh and I spend on ds) and she said that they (her and dad) still spends the same on me and db as they always have, but now include sil and dh within that budget, so although it is effectively less, the budget is the same?
Ds is another story and she spends a different sum on him altogether.

LeftieLucy · 12/12/2021 15:42

My oldest 2 are 17 and 18, both work full time. It’s getting difficult to find things to buy them as they tend to buy what they want from their wages, so although I haven’t consciously lowered my budget for them, it’s happened naturally.

BellaVita · 12/12/2021 15:51

Nah, we still spoil them and their girlfriends.

Ds1 (24) still lives at home - he does work full time. Bought him some clothes (football related to the team he follows) and will give him £150 to put towards whatever he wants. His girlfriend usually gets a gift to open and a voucher (she likes Amazon) which totals about £70.

DS2 (22) lives with his girlfriend in their own house. He works full time and pays for everything for them as she is a full time student. We gave him some euros for spending money for his birthday (Nov) and Christmas as her parents took them away on holiday in Nov. Have bought both of them little gifts to open and some house gifts for Christmas.

bestdhever · 12/12/2021 15:53

Why would you reduce it so much just because they are an adult? My mum still spoils me at Christmas (I'm 36 and married with 2 dc?) and I love it. I spoil her back too obviously.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 12/12/2021 16:07

My eldest is 16, in full time education and earns 50€ a week tutoring younger children and babysitting. Our budget won't change until she's finished her full time education, regardless of part time work (don't want to penalise a good work ethic!)

Once she finishes full time education and is hopefully earning a full time wage I honestly don't know - we've talked to the kids about rent/ bills if they choose to stay living at home at that stage (because they've been curious) but not about Christmas presents. We have a 100€ main present budget plus stockings which are mostly just consumables and they always get pyjamas and socks too, and a Nikolaus boot on 6th December (chocolate and one small present for about 10€).

I think the Nikolaus boot will certainly stop when they move out and possibly anyway at some point... but the rest isn't overboard and I think might stay the same unless we can't afford it at some point.

Maybe it'll change if/ when they have children - that's actually how it automatically worked between my siblings and I - we continued buying for the child free sibling but switched to buying for nephews and nieces and stopped buying for siblings with kids. Obviously parents don't stop buying for their own children but maybe the budget goes down. Certainly my own parents spend less on me than I do on my own children, but they also spend the same on each grandchild as on their own children. Maybe we'll do that.

MrsBerthaRochester · 12/12/2021 16:08

My eldest is 18. I am giving him £100 and he will get some gifts to open on day so probably spent £150.
I have spent more on my other two but he got £1500 this year from the child trust fund scheme and is unemployed(annoying me hanging about the house playing ps4!)

cushioncovers · 12/12/2021 16:09

Nothing has changed they are 23 & 21 now and I spend the same

AuntieMarys · 12/12/2021 16:10

Adult dcs get £250 each and those that visit get a couple of gifts

GoodnightGrandma · 12/12/2021 16:11

I’ve not changed my kids budget, but I will when they get married or have kids of their own.

cushioncovers · 12/12/2021 16:11

I meant to add that now they are grown up and working they buy me gifts as well so it has its advantages 😁

Onlyabean · 12/12/2021 16:12

Nothing has changed. Teen and adults kids get the same and now so do their partners.

PoppityInThe · 12/12/2021 16:19

At around 18, I'll probably just get 1 gift for them. A book, fancy bath stuff, or any nice jumpers etc they have eye on.
Same as it was for me at 16.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 12/12/2021 16:31

Ours are long grown up, both partnered, one with 3 dcs.
Unless there’s something they’ve said they specifically want, they get something small to open - e.g. new pyjamas, chocs, and cash.

GoodTid · 12/12/2021 16:39

My youngest is 20 and still at home, oldest has left home.
I give the older one £200 and the younger one has gifts totalling about £400.

I never really have a budget anyway so just get what they want and need.

TisTheSeasonToBeVegan · 12/12/2021 16:44

Our oldest is 18. He won’t be getting any less than usual. He’s at college, not full time work although we’ll probably still give them as much once they’re out of education and working. I can’t imagine not spoiling them at Xmas ever.

fallfallfall · 12/12/2021 16:44

Based on need, sometimes when they are older they need “more”. Especially once they’ve moved out.

HunterGatherer · 12/12/2021 17:21

The way my parents did it is once you bring a partner home they split your budget between you and the partner. Then when kids arrive they split it with them as well.
That way you have the same budget but it's just divided up a bit more. My 87 year old mother has just split her £1k budget, £900 between her 9 DC, Partners and DGC and the remainder for her hairdresser and her friends. She saves all year for this Bless her heart ❤.